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Show No-No’s

I have often said that all a TV show needs to hook me in is pretty clothes and “….they solve crime!” Watching the amount of TV I did this summer made me appreciate what I like and don’t like.

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I have often said to friends that all a TV show needs to hook me in is pretty clothes and “….they solve crime!” and while this is pretty accurate, watching the amount of TV I did this summer made me appreciate more what I like in shows and what I don’t like. I’m not saying what follows is a sure-fire way to make a great TV show–I’m just saying it’s what works for me. We’ll start with the bad.

DON’TS:

1) Get carried away with your own cleverness. Lord, it annoys me when writers point out just how awesome a piece of dialogue was. That’s a little too wink wink nudge for my tastes, especially since rarely is anything that clever.

2) Fail to follow up on cool plots. When a show introduces something really cool and then wraps it up in one or two episodes, it’s painful for me. It’s like watching someone actually hit themselves and all you can do is yell “Stop hitting yourself!”. I know that TV is hard, but if I can think of half a dozen cool ways to plot something else just watching the episode, surely people spending a few weeks writing it could too. It’s laziness and it’s really unsatisfying.

3) Long sex scenes. If I wanted to see weird and unrealistic sex I’d be watching porn. Instead I just get to be pissed that boobs are ok, but god forbid a man go full-frontal.

4) Write sibling relationships. This is an iffy one–some shows do this really well. Others seem to think that it’s totally normal for a brother and sister to discuss blowjobs. Or for brothers to buy sisters presents for no reason. Or that siblings often go around threatening significant others. It’s as if TV was written solely by only children.

DOS:

1) Have a diverse cast. This isn’t a totally hard and fast rule. For example, I can accept the relatively un-diverse Mad Men cast because it makes sense within the context of the show (even though it is complex). But I do appreciate shows like Avatar: The Last Airbender, Bones, or even Dexter for having lots of different types of folks running around without it being a thing.

2) Following the Bechdel Rule. I’m a lady. I like it when TV ladies seem more like me and mine and less like….TV ladies. I especially like it when writers know how to do more with a lady character than rape her or get her pregnant.

3) Know your characters. Poor characterization for the sake of plot annoys me more than boring plots. Good characterization saves even the worse plots. Shows that know this get watched.

4) Have a well-built world in general. Look, on True Blood this season Eric flew. And it was awesome, but it was also sensical. In that universe, basically anything can happen and so it’s not surprising when it does. The show certainly has flaws, but it knows its world. Conversely, if Dexter meets one more serial killer, I’m going to pitch a fit. In what is essentially the real world not every new person you meet in going to be a sociopath, unless I have lived an incredibly sheltered life. It’s, contextually, more ridiculous than a vampire flying. And that’s sad.

5) Loosen up. Not all shows can do this, but it’s a thing of beauty when the writing allows for a character to relax and let go a bit, or even just crack a bit of a joke at it’s own expense.

6) Assume the best of your audience. Most people aren’t hopelessly stupid. Pointing out your premise every episode or having characters be foolish are a way of telling people you don’t think they’re smart enough to remember. And in the age of the DVD, the Hulu and the DVR, that’s a very dangerous game to play.

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  • http://www.sharedwing.net/ wintersweet

    Yeah, I agree with these. It’s amazing how many TV shows can’t pass the Bechdel Test, and for no good reason. (It’s different when there is a good reason, but those shows are pretty few and far between.) I think parent-child relationships and even romantic relationships also seem to have been written by 12-year-olds (for that matter, I often wonder how many TV writers or directors attended college, because virtually no college scene ever actually resembles college). I also appreciate diverse casts, particularly ones, as you point out, where it’s not A Thing. I wish there were more of this and that there were more instances of “a character who is [profession] and is [temperament] and is [from a place] and likes to [do hobby] and is [ethnicity] and is [sexual orientation],” rather than “THE GAY CHARACTER! YAY!” Y’know, like real life.

    I think a lot of this actually comes down to point 4–people love to b*tch about racial and sexual orientations quotas and what not, but you know, when I watch a show set in San Francisco or LA and all the characters, even in the background, are straight white people? It’s harder to believe than a flying vampire. I live in California (my city is over 50% Asian…). Come on. I’m not looking for a simulation of real life when I watch TV, but some decent, slightly less lazy writing and 5 minutes of research in order to make use of the setting would be really great.

    My overarching DO, though, is so hard to find in American shows that I’ve pretty much switched to only watching British and Japanese shows: have a beginning, a middle, and an end. The US TV industry just isn’t set up that way, and the few shows that attempt it are often cut off mid-story anyway. I’m so sick of being left hanging (a major, major pet peeve) that I’ve simply given up and will only watch American shows once they’ve finished (IF that happens–and if they then don’t fall victim to success and get spun out over increasingly weak seasons) and have come out on DVD. :|

  • http://www.sharedwing.net wintersweet

    Yeah, I agree with these. It’s amazing how many TV shows can’t pass the Bechdel Test, and for no good reason. (It’s different when there is a good reason, but those shows are pretty few and far between.) I think parent-child relationships and even romantic relationships also seem to have been written by 12-year-olds (for that matter, I often wonder how many TV writers or directors attended college, because virtually no college scene ever actually resembles college). I also appreciate diverse casts, particularly ones, as you point out, where it’s not A Thing. I wish there were more of this and that there were more instances of “a character who is [profession] and is [temperament] and is [from a place] and likes to [do hobby] and is [ethnicity] and is [sexual orientation],” rather than “THE GAY CHARACTER! YAY!” Y’know, like real life.

    I think a lot of this actually comes down to point 4–people love to b*tch about racial and sexual orientations quotas and what not, but you know, when I watch a show set in San Francisco or LA and all the characters, even in the background, are straight white people? It’s harder to believe than a flying vampire. I live in California (my city is over 50% Asian…). Come on. I’m not looking for a simulation of real life when I watch TV, but some decent, slightly less lazy writing and 5 minutes of research in order to make use of the setting would be really great.

    My overarching DO, though, is so hard to find in American shows that I’ve pretty much switched to only watching British and Japanese shows: have a beginning, a middle, and an end. The US TV industry just isn’t set up that way, and the few shows that attempt it are often cut off mid-story anyway. I’m so sick of being left hanging (a major, major pet peeve) that I’ve simply given up and will only watch American shows once they’ve finished (IF that happens–and if they then don’t fall victim to success and get spun out over increasingly weak seasons) and have come out on DVD. :|

  • Zoe Holmes

    Wintersweet,

    Thanks for the awesome comment–nice to know people actually read my madness :)!

    I totally agree with your ranting, especially in regards to how TV wants us to believe that wildly diverse cities have NO people of color in them. I mean, I’m not going to pretend that friend groups are often homogeneous, but cities? Ridiculous.

    And your DO is a good one and, like you, I wish more American TV shows did that as it does drastically ramp up quality. It wouldn’t require it for all shows, as I do watch some procedurals that don’t really need those elements, but on most dramas? Yes please.

  • Zoe Holmes

    Wintersweet,

    Thanks for the awesome comment–nice to know people actually read my madness :)!

    I totally agree with your ranting, especially in regards to how TV wants us to believe that wildly diverse cities have NO people of color in them. I mean, I’m not going to pretend that friend groups are often homogeneous, but cities? Ridiculous.

    And your DO is a good one and, like you, I wish more American TV shows did that as it does drastically ramp up quality. It wouldn’t require it for all shows, as I do watch some procedurals that don’t really need those elements, but on most dramas? Yes please.