1. Andy Grammer (“Keep Your Head Up”) is not only musically redundant, but in possession of an infuriating last name.
2. Mick Jagger would not like “Moves Like Jagger.” This is a man who does not whistle.
3. Jason DeRulo has other songs besides his Imogen Heap-sampling “Whatcha Say,” and that’s not all bad.
4. Bad Meets Evil is one of the dumbest band names I have ever heard, and yet “Lighters” is a sweet little nostalgia ditty. That said, I wonder if The Kids Of Today know what its title refers to – at a concert in 2011, “A Sky Full of iPhones” would be the more appropriate refrain.
5. No one I have heard singing Kevin Rudolf’s “Let It Rock” has been doing it correctly.
6. The nation can rekindle its love affair (of sorts, as explored on “Saturday Night Live” recently) with Adele by taking all of her songs off the radio for a month, and then returning to them again. Voice of a damn angel.
7. Gym Class Heroes can only be helped by confusion with Cobra Starship as I have been doing for about five years now.
8. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look better with the lights off” is 2011’s “I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful (sexy bitch)” or, if you prefer, “I’m not trying to be rude, but tonight I’m fucking you.”
9. After just 2 hours of the hits of today, 2010’s “California Gurls” improves a little. This will now be known as Max Martin Stockholm Syndrome.
10. It’s unfair to grade LMFAO on a curve just because they’re Berry Gordy’s son and grandson, and not a bunch of obnoxious white frat boys.
11. Bruno Mars and Pink will eventually converge into one singer.
12. The songs from Lady Gaga’s “The Fame”/”The Fame Monster” sound remarkably stylistically uniform now compared with those from “Born This Way,” and it took me this long to realize it because I never hear more than one of her singles sequentially.15. “Na na na na na, every day, like my iPod’s stuck on replay” is the new “All I want to do is… [gunshots] and take your money.”
13. The tyrannical grip of Kings of Leon is loosening upon this vale of tears.
14. Katy Perry’s not-even-slant rhymes attempted in “Firework” are desperate enough (sliding on rhyming “Oh” and “Sky”?) but her pairing of “park” and  ”dark” with “menage a trois” in “Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)” is debatably worse, because it’s pretentious as well as incorrect. The Swedish song machine is breaking down! Whatever happened to the organization that came up with Shelleyisms like “Ain’t nothin’ but a heartache/ Ain’t nothin’ but a mistake/ I never wanna hear you say/ I want it that way.”
15. Gaga’s “Yoü and I” makes more sense when you discover that it was coproduced by Mutt “Formerly Mr. Shania Twain” Lange (oh my God, this should have been obvious).
16. Justin Timberlake’s “What Goes Around… Comes Around” may be the oldest song I’ve heard all day. It was released as a single in 2007. Repeat: Justin Timberlake has not released an album since 2006. You know what’s not cool?
17. Here I figured this endeavor would mean eight straight hours of “Party Rock Anthem” and we’re only getting to it now after six hours. I assume the hamsters borrowed the tapes.
18. Kelly Rowland‘s “Motivation,” is so beloved of the soundtrackers at the gym that I can only conclude a robot pulls that programming together because this song? Is not about motivating yourself to work out.
19. See #13, but for Train’s “Hey Soul Sister.”
20. As dumb as “after dark/ then we had a menage a trois” is, I think K. Perry has been trumped by the lyric “Love you like a love song.”  (Selena Gomez and the Scene) Roland Barthes’ head just exploded.
21. If you think Foster The People’s “Pumped Up Kicks” is truly the worst thing to happen to music this year, take my pop challenge and find out for yourself.