I know we’re two days late (and I apologize for all the delays which are all me and no one else from this team) but happy mother’s day to all the mom’s who might be reading this. I’m glad you’re going to take the time to read our thoughts on this week’s TV (and maybe tell us your own) rather than telling us to stop watching that clap trap and go to bed.

I mean, I watch a lot of TV and as an adult my mom can no longer stop me. But I promise: I ate all my vegetables today.

Scott

Friday Night Lights: “East of Dillon”
Of all the injustices in the world — famines, plagues, pestilence — the worst by far is the ratings failure of Friday Night Lights. Surely a just and loving God would not allow this show to play to a national audience smaller than the population of a Dallas suburb. I am a hard-hearted bastard, a man who scares grandmas and steals candy from little children, but this week’s 4th season premiere reduced me to a blubbering chump that got choked up at least three times, once before the credits even rolled. Seeing Coach Taylor in cash-strapped East Dillon High after being taken down by the machinations of the truly evil Joe McCoy was a harrowing experience, and the ace direction of series creator Peter Berg wrenched the maximum drama from the proceedings. The only problem with Friday Night Lights is that I love it too much. I’m so invested in these characters at this point that the show makes me feel bipolar, pulling me between my unending love of the Taylors and my burning hatred of the McCoys to such an extent that I need an hour or so in closed quarters with a Vangelis CD to decompress afterwards.

Dennis

Saturday Night Live: “Betty White/Jay Z”
I don’t often say this, but good job, Facebook. Sure it might be not-so-slowly eating away at any sense of human privacy, but at least the social networking site brought us the fan campaign, which then brought us this episode with national treasure Betty White as host. White made more sketches golden (Golden Girls pun, not initially intentional… surprising, I know) with her mere presence. Sure, she was sometimes just recruited to say things you don’t normally hear coming out of an older person’s mouth (“The Wizard of Ass,” “micropenis,” various vaginal references, not to mention the word “lesbian,” numerous, numerous times through one sketch), but no matter what White was doing, it was damn hilarious. Besides her Facebook-mocking monologue, another standout was her wacky census sketch with Tina Fey (also good job for SNL, bringing back Fey and her 90s/00s’ female partners-in-funny to appear throughout). Hey, in the spirit of this momentous occasion, can we get a Facebook petition asking to add Blarfengaar to the Oxyford English Dictionary?

Parks & Recreation: “Telethon”
It was nice to have Amy Poehler back for this week’s Saturday Night Live, but this week’s Parks & Recreation reminded us that she’s doing just fine on her own. Poehler penned this episode, which featured Leslie running a telethon. Some great moments from random Pawnee townspeople (a woman sings “Sweet Dreams Are Made of These” and a weatherman does the worm to the Beverly Hills Cop theme song), but also Ron (he suffers from “sleep fighting”) and naturally, Leslie (who, while sleep-deprived: tries to retell an episode of Friends, drops trou to stop Mark from humiliating himself on television, and parks her car on Ann’s front lawn).

Community: “Modern Warfare”
I know Zoe and I are in agreement that Community was trying too hard to push Jeff and Britta, and myself and others have also complained that this show is sometimes too pop culture referencey, but I dug this episode despite a copious amount of both. Jeff and Britta FINALLY did it, which at least could change their dynamic now (and the clhararacters did openly tell the couple they were no Ross and Rachel or Sam and Diane). I liked that Jeff woke up from a nap and the campus had gone apocalyptic (very 28 Days Later, among others). And any Warriors reference (a 70s-inspired group of paintballers proclaims “study crew, come out and pla-ay!”) is always welcome. I enjoyed Community‘s dig at Glee (“Really? People fall for that? I mean I’m all for winning, but let’s not resort to cheap ploys.” and later in the episode Jeff yells at the glee club “Write some original songs!”), just one week after an Entourage insult. I think Community should keep making bitchy comments about all the comedies that get more critical acclaim than it does. I hope that means a Modern Family joke is coming…

Friday Night Lights: “East of Dillon”
Granted, this FNL season already aired on Direct TV, where Zoe gave it the Roundtable treatment, but I figured I’d re-Roundtable the NBC premiere, if only to say I have no idea who most of these new characters are (most of the regulars graduated right out of the show in between seasons, goodbye Lyla and Tyra, I will miss you greatly). Still, I have faith I’ll eventually be invested in their lives as I have been with all of the other characters this show has ever offered me. Except for that guy Tyra and Landry killed a few seasons back. I wasn’t so invested in him.

Zoe

Community: “Modern Warfare”
If Friday Night Lights produced one of the best dramatic episodes I have ever seen this year with “The Son”, than this episode of Community surely ranks among the best comedic episodes I have ever seen, if not the best. it’s hard to emphasize how much I loved what they did here. I loved it so much that I worry any subsequent episode of Community will disappoint me by comparison.

For starters, as a fan of action movies (heck, as someone who basically only watches action-oriented blockbusters) this was like crack to me. I know that Dennis and I and others have (accurately) had issues with the references on the show and that the mafia episode didn’t grab me for the same reasons that this one did. But whatever, this ruled. And, the cherry on top, it was beautifully, beautifully shot and paced. Not a second wasted and just gorgeous looking the whole time.

Moreover, I like where they finally took the Jeff and Britta “thing”. Maybe it’s because I am both from a small Midwestern city and someone who attended a small liberal arts college, but sometimes friends sleep together and it’s not the most life-changing thing ever. Granted, we have no idea where they might take this, but if they decided to mostly let everything go back to normal, save for some awkward and some asides, I wouldn’t see it as a cop-out, just ultra-realistic.

House: “The Choice”
This season of House is really making me think my anti-House, anti-anything longer than five season stances. Sure, the medical mysteries have gotten stale and most of this week was me screaming in frustration that we can all accept that female sexuality is fluid (and thus ‘hot”), but can’t give guys the same credence. I mean, I get that changing your sexuality through sheer will-power is unlikely, but it I was annoyed that actual bisexual 13 seemed to insist that…dudes can’t be bi.

But beyond the medical mystery, everything is rosier for me. I’m actually *gasp* liking the team, which is something I haven’t done in a while. As long as they move away from the alleged depth of Taub’s marital problems and 13′s chronic illness, I’m happy to see these people on screen as much as possible, hopefully tipsy and singing. I don’t mind being wrong, when the results are this palatable.

Notice how I am not saying anything about House and Cuddy. This is because my theory only holds is I pretend that never happened ever.

Bones: “The Witch in the Wardrobe”
I haven’t been writing a lot about Bones because, frankly, I haven’t been liking a lot about Bones and I figure there’s no reason to harp on the negative. But this episode, which was less groan-inducing than last week’s, decided to have Angela and Hodgins tie the knot. And that seemed big enough to note here. And, you know, there’s some to like here: as someone who likes those two together I’m happy and as someone who appreciates the relatively slow build they’ve been giving this I’m happy. But the rest? The ham-fisted, idiotic arrest? The convenient judge? The ruining of what was a fairly realistic (and bittersweet) break-up? I’m not unhappy to see them back together, but I am unhappy that the Bones writers continue their march towards low-level mediocrity and cheap ploys.