BLOODY GOOD
Crazy Russell
Now Zoe and I have differed thus far on Russell (I could be found muttering “it should’ve been you, Russell” after Talbot got staked last week) but I enjoy Russell now that he’s in mourning and even more unhinged, wandering around with his manfriend’s blood in an urn, and tearing out people’s spines on the news. -D

Lafayette’s Mom
Speaking of nuts, I think I’m on record as saying I think Lafayette’s mom is delightful. She seems to love Lafayette in her own crazy way, pointing out the lovely glow he had, and uttering the phrase “maybe god loves f*gs.” Amen to that. -D

[See, I feel like Lafayette's mom is both awesome, but also maybe one "crazy black lady" too many on this show. Alfre Woodard is fantastic, though. So. We'll see. -Z]

Eric, Pam, and Nan
We got some quality Eric and Pam time, thanks to being sequestered by Nan and friends, and hooray for that. (Although, why did Nan have to set up temporary coffins? It’s their business establishment, wouldn’t they have coffins there already?). I enjoyed Nan told Eric to stop being a little bitch. -D

Angry Sam
Yet another reason to be thankful for Tommy, someone finally told Sam to man up and he gave (ugh) Crystal’s father the beating he so richly deserved. Can’t Sam go to the East Dillon of Bon Temps and beat up EVERY ONE now? Please? -D

Jason
Oh one hand I was happy Jason and his wooden bullet gun (hey show, way to remember something from one week to the next! Continuity!) took care of Franklin. On the other… -D

Good Villainy
I’ve made no secret of my love of Russell this far (the campier the villain, the better, in my book) but I also want to highlight something else that makes Russell (and others) great villains: he’s not wrong. Sure, his final speech was just a “screw you” to the American Vampire League, but can you dispute what he said? Likewise, why would thousand year old immortals to submit anything as controlling as The Authority? His camp is his selling point, but it’s also nice when a show offers you a villain you want to side with. -Z

Rape Support!
I’ve been digging the crap out of Tara this season, so I was pleasantly surprised (and really happy) when she went to a rape support group. So many fans seemed to want to wave away Franklin’s crimes with “he’s so funny!” and “I hate Tara” and it’s nice for the show to force the point that, you know, as funny as his speed texting was, the dude was still a rapist and an abductor. And if that wasn’t enough, new waitress Holly got to talk about a rape that was like most rapes–done by someone she knew. Thumbs up True Blood, for being accurate and letting one of your characters get help. -Z

I enjoy that Eric wear classy, colorful sweaters and button downs when he’s doing gay for pay-off, but upon coming home immediately changes into the wife beater and relaxed fit pants befitting a strip clbu owner. -Z

‘Bout Time, Sooks
Man, it’s been three seasons, but we finally get Sookie pointing out that she’s not inherently Bill’s Damsel in Distress and it’d be nice if he started viewing her as a person, not a precious jewel. It’s maybe a bit late for this talk (I, for example, would do it pre engagement) but it’s appreciated. -Z

[I feel like Sookie's had versions of this speech before, which is even more insulting because then she turns around AND IS BILL'S DAMSEL IN DISTRESS. But the Debbie beat down does do a little to rectify this. Besides the fact that again I say, she didn't actually shoot Debbie --D]

[Ok, true. But I feel like, maybe (hopefully) Bill actually freakin' got it this time. I am sure the show will crush my dreams, though. -Z]

BITES
The Authority
I don’t get the obsession vampire-based works have with creating large, central papacies for their vampires. I mean, I guess because in real life we’re all so into what goes on with the Popes and the Cardinals!? Seriously, not only doers The Authority bother me on a meta-level, they also appear to be really, really boring. Webcams? Some faceless dudes sitting in front of a giant monitor? Snooze. Wake me up when they start carrying around urns of their dead husbands. -Z

Bill: Dumb
He started a file on Sookie because he wanted to know why Eric was so interested in her? Uh, maybe because she’s hot and he’s attracted to her? -Z

Fairyland
Seriously, they shit looked like something out of Cleopatra 2525. I’m not saying everything needs amazing special effects (I appreciate the good werewolves and awesome vampire explosions just fine), but if you’re not going to make it look amazing could you make it look less…12 year old girl-ish? -Z

Just Tell Her Already!
We get it. Sookie isn’t human, She’s strange and beautiful and can read minds. I am sick of them delaying information about her. For cripes sake, her cousin has time to get Sookie to see if her son is a mind-reader, but not enough time to by like “Oh, bee tee dubs, you’re a ___!”? Pffft. I’m all for mysteries and cliffhangers, but come on. -Z

[Yeah they're really drawing this out. Further proof that this was a filler episode. They teased the HELL out of Sookie's mystery all episode and STILL didn't reveal it. We only have like 4 episodes left in the season, let's get movin, yo -D]

Hot Shot
So Andy is just going to go in and arrest everyone for living in a certain area of town? That seems illegal, right? Like…very, very illegal. Where’s the Louisiana ACLU when you need them!? -Z

Poor Tara
I assumed that might not have been the last we saw of Franklin (can you kill a vampire by braining him?) but thought in the grand scheme of the show, I wish Franklin’s first death would’ve been his last. It would’ve been better to have vampire rape victim Tara kill her assailant than some other dude. Which brings me to my next point… -D

All the Single (Dimensional) Ladies
Ok so let me get these straight. There are the perpetual damsels in distress of this show, namely Tara and Sookie (though she did open a decent-sized can of whup ass on Debbie last week, IF ONLY SHE HAD KILLED HER). Then there are the two strongest female figures, Pam and Nan, who appear to be lesbians. Are we really relying on tired feminist stereotypes? At least there’s Jessica. She’s pretty strong, Oh wait, there she is crying over Hoyt. Again. -D

I Want My Ear Drums Back
I realized this show relies way too heavily on ladies screaming to end an episode, a season, or other assorted cliffhangers. This week it was Ginger screaming over one thing or another right before the credits. Ginger spends most of her time at Fantasia. She really shouldn’t be so easily phased by Eric being silvered at this point. -D

[I've never really been sure why they keep Ginger around. I mean, surely there are lots of young, hot women dying ti hang around some vampires? You probably wouldn't even need to brainwash them so much. -Z]

Crystal (Times Infinity)
Good god, did we have to devote so much of this episode to this storyline? Every time I turned around I felt like we were back to her. Oh look the Summer/Hoyt/Jessica/Tommy quadrangle is on. Wait no, a minute is all the time we have for that because we have to get back to Crystal. No, we REALLY don’t. -D

Each week Dennis and I assemble a list of our favorite (and least favorite) moments for the latest episode of True Blood.