Author Archives: Zoe Holmes

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About Zoe Holmes

Zoe is a Midwesterner who lives and works and (travels often outside of) New York City. She majored in TV Watching (basically) and does newfangled marketing biz boz on the internet. She also watches, and obsessively discusses, a lot of TV and bad movies, particularly those involving crime-solving, suits, and explosions.

“I’m Alive and On Fire”

Sookie, a blog woman holding a red blanket, stands next to Alcide, a shirtless werewolf.

BLOODY GOOD
The Show Can Have Fun
I take back every negative thing I ever thought about the Amnesia Eric plotline. Even if it goes south, as it almost inevitably will, it’s been a lot of fun so far. Not only has it brought out the best in Sookie, it has allowed for the show to not focus on everything being serious business all the time. I mean, not everything has to be over dramatic problems! Sometimes characters can be drunk and challenge gators to fight and where gym shorts that crack me up and it’s fine. -Z

[I concur. I almost wish Eric would stay amnesiac forever, but we know that won't happen. I'm hoping when Eric does finally get his memory back that maybe Amnesiac Eric's quirks will sort of be incorporated into Eric 3.0's personality. Maybe nuEric will realize that basketball shorts are really comfortable and keep right on wearing them -D]

Witches!
I’m actually enjoying the witch plotline. Anything that gives Lafayette and Tara a compelling storyline (even if Jesus is settling too much into “blah support system boyfriend” mode) and Fiona Shaw does a good job as Marnie (and as “Marnie possessed by that other scary witch lady”). Who knew? This show can introduce new, interesting characters! -D

Sookie and Bill: Better Apart
We all suspected, but never have confirmed, that breaking up would be the best way to make these two tolerable together. For one, it’s gotten their screen time together down considerably. For another, it makes the more like individual characters and less like a horrible, dull monster called Sookill. Or whatever the shipper name is. Plus, the scene where Sookie lies to Bill features some really fine acting from everyone. You see the conflict, the mistrust, and the heartbreak in both characters without anyone have to shout about it or analyze it for the next three episodes. -Z

[I think we are in agreement on this too. I think that besides having to endure the Mickenses and stupid Sam/Jason plots these last few years, the main Billookie stuff has gotten annoying/boring too, so it's nice to see them separate a little. Even the scenes of Bill and Sookie were decent, since at least Sookie's finally "maturing" a bit, being able to lie right back at Bill about Eric's whereabouts. -D]

Sam and Jason’s Shoes
You know I’m bored with certain storylines on this show when I start marveling at peoples’ shoes. I noticed I liked Jason’s when he was hiding in a tree from methwolves, and I noticed Sam’s when he was talking to his love interest that no one was clamoring for. I’m starting to feel like Christian in Clueless, but I’d rather have less “nice stems” and more stories that are interesting. -D

Plots Can Move Forward
Instead of bickering with Sam week after week, Tommy actually does something! And his reunion with his mom was sort of sweet, before the inevitable double cross. Hot Shot is over (for now) and we won’t have to see Jason tied up to the bed screaming anymore! The witches actually do some stuff! Sam….meets a girl, I guess, and I don’t care, but I didn’t want to punch him once! Arlene’s baby (or that creepy fucking doll) actually did something to justify all the screeching! Moreover, there was no screeching! Hoyt and Jessica were in the episode without fighting and were useful!I think the pacing was well done this week–even though there was a lot of emphasis on some of my less-than-favorite plotlines, they mixed them together well and moved them to a more interesting point. Which is complimenting a TV show for doing what it should, but that’s where my bar is at. -Z

[I think this is where Zoe and I disagree the most. I'm glad to see Jessica and Hoyt doing something besides arguing, sure. And the show finally remembered Hoyt and Jason know each other! It could be interesting to see if Jessica and Jason bond at all now that he's tasted her blood. But man, I really don't need any more plots involving Crystal, the Mickens or Sam's ladyfriend. I like Tommy more than Zoe, and his earnest reunion with his mother was sweet, but ultimately stupid. I don't want to see Tommy's mommy back, especially if that also means the return of her stupid abusive husband. We finally escaped the dog fighting storyline of last year. Do we really need it back? Considering Crystal said she'd see Jason come the next full moon, I doubt we've seen the last of her either. Can't we just say goodbye to these characters and actually mean it? -D]

Alcide and Sookie=BFFLs
I really appreciate that right now Alcide is not part of the….square or octagon or whatever it is with Sookie, but is instead actually being a friend. I’m a big booster of friendship on this show, and I’m glad that these two actually seem to have each others backs. For now. Until Debbie tries to stab her. -Z

[I like these two as pals too. I mean, eventually I'm sure they'll act on their flirtatious friendship, but I like that Sookie is staying single for all of a few episodes, instead of jumping from bed to bed. I mean, she's still way too dependent on dudes for everything, but at least right now Alcide's just a really good friend, not necessarily the night storming the castle to rescue her -D]

Calling It Like You See It
Last episode, Jason was gang raped and this episode he talked about being gang raped. Likewise, Tara clearly labeled what happened to her last season as torture and rape. I know a lot of people like to try and dance around these terms, especially in the context of TV shows they like (looking at you Game of Thrones) so it was really wonderful to have a show point out that what something looked like, it was, and it was pretty messed up too. -Z

Everyone Was Shirtless
Self-explanatory. -Z

[More than shirtless, really. Alcide and Eric had a whole argument while naked. Jason spend a bunch of time merely draped in a blanket. I'm starting to think all the were-people were just brought on to work nudity into the plot even more. RIP Crystal's boyfriend whose name I can never bother to remember but died a naked death -D]

BITES
Sookie’s Memory
Turns out more than one person got amnesia! Because when Amnesia Eric is depressed because he didn’t get to naked wrestle–I mean, never see sunlight again–Sookie starts talking about how Normal Eric was totally happy all the time. Granted, Normal Eric was never a depressed, mopey guy, but happy? All the time? Really, Sookie? Because Amnesia Eric has already smiled and laughed more in two episodes than Normal Eric has in four seasons, so I’m calling bullshit. -Z

[Yeah, I thought this too. Old Eric isn't exactly a happy-go-lucky guy. I mean, he's not mopey, except maybe Godrick died, but he's still sort of (un)dead serious most of the time. -D]

Poor Portia
What was the point of introducing Portia to the show, besides to introduce the incest storyline and spout ridiculous lines like “I’m a lawyer, Bill!” in the heat of arguments? I hope with Bill and his ancestor Portia’s relationship over (and it better be over?), that she can focus on helping her relatives out. Surely V-addicted Andy and evil baby-afflicted Terry can use the help. -D

Bad Parenting
Seriously, would you let your kid play with a burned, rotting doll? Even if someone gave it to you as a present? Hell no! You politely thank them and ditch that shit ASPA. So why is Lil Dex still gnawing on the doll? It’s not normal, and it’s going to be worse if it turns out the doll is the root problem (also: dumb). -Z

UnPretty Pam
I get that the show needed to have Pam “go through” something and being that so many of the rest of the characters have already been sexually assaulted, I guess effing up Pam’s face was the only way to go? Why couldn’t the witches just erase Pam’s memory too? Maybe an amnesiac (but still quippy, I can’t live without my Pam bon mots) Pam could get nursed back to health by Tara, and Sookie and Tara could share in the fun of having secret vampire rendezvous? Someone get Alan Ball on the phone, so I can pitch story ideas! -D

Incest
Ok, so I found Bill’s plotline pretty amusing, actually, especially because it was incest so far removed, but good lord Hot Shot. Not only is it bad that everyone is sleeping with everyone else, but they keep calling each other “father-uncle” and “cousin-mother” and it makes me want to punch something. The only person who can say that is Buster Bluth and if you’re not him knock it off. -Z

[I think this was another "it was in the books" sort of thing that Alan Ball felt the need to place in the series, but to say that's reason enough is kind of crap. Sookie's fairy godmother is in the books more and that didn't mean anything here. Also, sometimes "it's in the book" just isn't a good enough reason. See also: Crystal. I also think Alan Ball likes the idea of having incest on his HBO shows because it's the "last taboo." Brenda and Billy had a creepy relationship on Six Feet Under and now it's rearing its head here. If nothing else is off limits, I guess Ball feels this isn't either. But groan. -D]

Each week Dennis and I assemble a list of our favorite (and least favorite) moments of the latest episode of True Blood.

“If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin’?”

Sookie, a blonde girl in a red dress, stands next to Eric, a blonde vampire in gym clothes
BLOODY GOOD
Snooki and Eric
I like that the show finally found its sense of humor again this season. One of the things I loved about season one was that it never took itself too seriously. As season two and three progressed, sure there were memorable moments, but save from Pam, Eric, and Lafayette’s comic relief moments everyone else acted like they were in a vampire-infested Ibsen play. I like that amnesiac Eric thought Sookie shared the same name as a certain GTL-loving Jersey Shore cast member, and I smiled at Sookie’s ending line about Eric killing her fairy godmother. -D

[Seriously! While I remain skeptical of the likely end game of this plot, this episode played it with the perfect amount of goofiness. I'm willing to go along with anything for now, as long as Eric keeps that wonderful dumb expression on his face. -Z]

Tara, Lafayette, and Jesus Having Fun
It’s a testament to how rare it is on this show that it even needs to be noted, but how cute was that dinner? Teasing! Camaraderie! Laughter! It’s so nice to have a break from the relentless pace of people being gang-raped and vampire attacked to just see some people have fun. I only wish it happened more, and that the very fact that it happened didn’t mean one of those character is probably going to die before the season is over. -Z

Jessica Even Brightens Up Bill
Even if it’s sort of unbelievable how quickly Bill and Jessica’s de facto father-daughter relationship bloomed (though, at least it was planted long before the year flash forward, unlike the Maxine/Tommy insta-family), it was nice to see boring old Bill giving Jess some Hoyt advice… even if we knew she was going to eventually end up ignoring it anyway. Teenagers! -D

A Good Use of Arlene
I still hate Arlene and her stupid Lil Dex plot more than anything (except methwolves), but she was finally used correctly in her reaction to Jessica giving her baby a trash doll. I mean, the trash doll was great comedy throughout the episode (has it been around before? Am I not remembering something important?) but never funnier than when Terry wanted Arlene to pretend it was a great, child-appropriate gift. -Z

Debbie’s Not Dead
Ok, every time I’d tried to refresh my memory with friends about what the hell happened last season, each time we get to Debbie, no one could remember how her storyline ended. I still can’t, but I guess “SHE DIED” was not the correct answer? I’m glad that Deb ended up getting a makeover and got clean (gone is the V-addicted, mulleted werewolf of yester-season). And I’m happy Sookie was actually not an idiot for once and realized that putting Eric in a house with someone trying to recover from an addiction to his blood might be a bad idea. -D

[SO DISAGREE! Isn't one pair of methwolves enough? Ditch Debbie et. al. was the best part of the jump forward, but I guess not anymore! BOOOOOOO. -Z]

Sam and Tara
As it turns out, there are other ways to make Sam interesting than having him hang out with people naked. Even fully clothed, Sam and Tara have good chemistry, and I like that they got a few friendly (but still maybe a little flirty) minutes to catch up before Tara went running off on her Lafayette adventure. -D

Sookie, Kicking Ass
Eric was being silly when he said there was a badass fairy Sookie and then normal, human Sookie. But there is a Sookie I like a lot more than any other, and that is “I am so sick of this shit” Sookie, which we got to see a lot of this episode. From punching Eric in the face, to asking to be paid for taking care of the mess, to hearing about witches and saying”oh great, another fucking thing to deal with”, fed up and impatient Sookie is the best kind. Dumb Eric would be fantastic on his own, but paired with a Sookie who’s even remotely interesting as a character? TV gold. -Z

Finally! Wooden Bullets
Wooden bullets really seem to be picking up in popularity. First Bill and his human back-up offed the Queen with some, and now Tara’s pointing some at Pam (and did I detect a little crushing on Pam’s part as she looked down Tara’s gun?). My only question is, why didn’t Tara just point the wooden bullets at Eric last week, instead of busting out the (far less reliable) stake? I guess then we wouldn’t have a plot. But good for Tara for growing. She’s learning the Bon Temps facts of life! -D

Practical Portia
I liked Portia’s proposal for sexytime with Bill (I wonder if we’ll meet her three previous flames. Is the gay one Lafayette? Are there any other gays in Bon Temps?). And, I like that she seems to know what she wants. But oh god, please don’t have Portia turn into a love-crazy fool in like two episodes, show. Not every adult woman in a sexual relationship turns into a commitment-crazed psycho. Didn’t you see that Natalie Portman/Ashton Kutcher movie? Or that Justin Timberlake/Mila Kunis movie? Ok, me either, but either way, avoid the cliches! -D

[I know one book spoiler about Portia, which makes this whole plot very strange. Also, the only thing I care less about than Bill pretending he's a badass King is his love life. Add on the fact that the actress playing Portia played one of my least favorite Dexter character (and that's saying something), meh. Even if I appreciate her logic. -Z]

BITES
Jason and Hoyt
While it’s nice for the dudes to be the victims on this show for once (Sookie and Tara have certainly been through enough), I still feel bad for former pals Hoyt and Jason (seriously, does this show even remember these two used to be kind of besties? Or did Rene turning out to be a serial killer put a damper on their threeway bromance?). Hoyt got glamoured by Jessica (although, I’m even more nervous all of Jessica and Hoyt’s problems ever are going to be chalked up to the creepy haunted doll), and oh god, Jason got raped. Because this show hasn’t had enough rape yet? Do we remember how well that went over last season with Tara? Does this mean Jason is going to be gay next season? Or does that rule only apply to ladies for these writers? I actually do hope Tara and Jason bond even more, and start a rape survivor’s group at some point soon. Here’s hoping no one else in this damned town has to attend, though. -D

[THANK YOU! The image of Jason being gang-raped was really disturbing because, well, remember when he used to be the fun sorta dumb guy? Bring that back, show! The idea of a Tara/Jason survivors group appeals to me, but at least point the whole damn town probably has PTSD so any meeting would really just be...an episode of this show. No wonder they're all messed up. -Z]

Addicted Andy
Last week I was happy that we got to see some quality flashbacks to the previous year, but one that’s clearly necessary but so far MIA is Andy’s flashback. (Who knew I’d ever be clamoring for Andy backstory?) How the hell did the sheriff get addicted to V? I’d rather see that, and then Jason helping his policeman pal get past his addiction, over any werepanter gang-rapes, thankyouverymuch. -D

A Few Head-scratchers
The show made a point of mentioning that Eric entered the witches hangout spot. Wouldn’t one of them have had to invite him in? Are we going to find out more about that at some point? Or were the writers hoping by nonchalantly mentioning it that we’d never think about it again?

Also, Sookie couldn’t have used any of her fairy powers to try and get Eric off of her fairygodmother? The chick just admitted to helping save her life in episode one and Sookie couldn’t even try and replay the favor? Does this mean it’ll be easier to kill Sookie? Because she’s kind of a moron, as has been often established I don’t think she needs any godmother-less handicaps hurting her any further. -D

[I think since the witches met in a store, Eric didn't need an invite. And really, I'd just love any sort of consistency in Sook's fairy powers other than "deux ex machina" writing. -Z]

Fairies are the Worst
Well, at least at doing  anything. Sookie wasn’t kidding–those people are useless. The one time Sookie’s fairy godmother ever helped her was all the way back in season one? Sure, she has to avoid vampires, but what about all the werewolves and panthers and greek goddesses that have been trying to destroy Sookie’s life? What about protecting the people she cares about from being gang-raped by werepanthers so that Sookie doesn’t have to clean up that mess too? What about doing anything other than “sending some energy” into a chain once. Ugh. If the fairies get destroyed, it is probably their own fault. -Z

Each week Dennis and I assemble a list of our favorite (and least favorite) moments of the latest episode of True Blood.

“You Smell Like Dinner”

Jason, a white guy with a 6-pack, lays on a bed shirtless, while Crystal, a white woman, straddles him.

BLOODY GOOD
Tara and Sookie Being Friends
Sure, it was for about 30 seconds, but nothing made me happier than seeing Tara and Sookie actually seem like best friends. On a show where every relationship is either about fucking, trying to fuck, or being friends that are angry and hateful towards each other. What fun! But for once we got to see two friends act the part, complete with hugs and understanding, and it was fantastic. I know Tara is universally hated, but I’m not really on the bandwagon and it was nice to see her involved in a plot that wasn’t about being shit upon for once. Best 30 seconds of the season so far! -Z

[I agree, it's nice to see Sookie and Tara as friends. I think their friendship is actually one of the most endearing relationships on the show, along with the Jason/Sookie scenes that happen approximately once every millennium. I got nervous when Tara seemed to consider Lafayette's text less than urgent last episode, so I'm glad to see Tara showed up cheery and understanding about her pal's mysterious disappearance. sort of feel like Tara's turning a corner for me as I note below, though ask me again in a few episodes.--D]

A Smarter, More Open Tara
It appears this Tara 2.0 is managing to stick for a whole two episodes now! I liked that the show had Tara clue her cousin in to her newfound same-sex relationship off-screen. It’s nice to know even though Sookie might’ve been gone, some things happened in the last year besides new haircuts for all. I imagine there will still be an eventual “coming out” scene between Tara and Sookie, but considering Sookie’s flirtations with vampires and werewolves, I hope Sookie’s less than phased comparatively.

Also, good for Tara for having a stake handy. Although, I’d argue a gun with wooden bullets would’ve been more successful. -D

RIP Queen Sophie
Bravo to True Blood for killing off arguably its biggest (or second biggest, Anna Paquin’s got an Oscar, Evan Rachel Wood just has Thirteen and a tabloid following) star. I like that the show realizes that in order to grow and move storylines along, it has to make some sacrifices. Plus, as anyone who read this column last year can attest, I was never much a fan of ERW’s weird Madonna/Johnny Depp quasi-British accent, and her ability to suck scenes dry with over-the-top-theatrics. -D

Flashbacks!
The best part of a show that features several hundred year old vampires is that you can have ridiculous, historically inaccurate flashbacks. Angel was a master of this, but True Blood is catching up with the “Bill the Punk Rocker” flashback. I’m not sure what amused me more–the use of Moyer’s real accent or the idea that Bill was ever cool–but it was a lot of fun. But not more fun than the flashback to a year ago that featured Bill wearing a wig of Bill’s hair last year. That’s the stuff that keeps me watching ever week. Well, that and giggling over how wee Bill is. -Z

[As Desperate Housewives, Lost, Brothers & Sisters, and other various ABC drama series over-reliant on the flash forward can attest, the best thing about the story crutch are the flashbacks to the unseen years that we skipped, and I think that's true here. It was nice to see how Bill faced off against the Queen, but I'm still not a fan of the way-back (well, if the 1980s can be considered way back, considering I was actually alive then) flashbacks. Did we really need Bill feasting and glamouring another human ? I guess the Nan scene gave important context, but why'd we have to endure ten minutes of fake British accents and scenes with a bartender we'll never see again to get there? -D]

Fantasia’s Bathroom Art
Obviously the focus of this scene was how Jessica is betraying Hoyt (relationships: they are always awful forever) and how Sookie being yelled at by someone is awesome, but seriously, check out how amazing this mural is. I bet Pam drew it. I love you, Pam! -Z

Sookie attempts to enter a bathroom stall in front of a mural of a girl crying over a toiler and a bat on the ceiling.

Tara Hating Everything
First, given the shitty time she’s had the last…however many months the first three seasons were (2?), this makes sense. Second, even though I know we all have boners for Eric, he was attacking her family and it makes sense that she would want to stake his ass. Ditto hating Bill who, you know, left her chained up to be tortured and raped by Franklin. Third, I appreciate that the hate isn’t bitter “I secretly hate myself, but I’ll hate this instead” TV hate, but rather “this shit is messed up and I’m going to call it that” hate. Right on. -Z

More Continuity
Remember when Eric chained Lafayette up, beat him, and gave him horrible PTSD? Well, I didn’t, but amazingly the show did! So glad to see the continuity trend continue, especially stuff that remember that Eric is a big, bad, moral neutral guy who’s done horrible things. It’s not all microwaves and new doors, people, and it shouldn’t be. -Z

BITES
Arlene and Her Stupid Baby
You know what I really, really don’t care about? Whether or not Lil Dexter is going to grow up and ax murder Arlene and everyone else in Bon Temps. Not when I wish he’d ax murder her now and put us all out of our misery. I don’t care about Arlene shrieking, I don’t care about Lil Dex, and I don’t care about the idea of deterministic genes. Unfortunately, I do care about Terry wearing a baby sling, so I guess I can tolerate this dumb, time-filling plot a little more. -Z

[Yeah, maybe it's because I'm reading We Need to Talk About Kevin and just got Elephant from Netflix, but I think I've reached my fill of miniature psychopaths this year. Like, is Arlene's stupid evil baby going to end up being this season's big bad? I guess he's at least more terrifying than the stupid were-panthers. I feel like Arlene's Rosemary Baby baby is just a reason to keep her and Terry in every episode. I think maybe it's time to stop trying so hard to get all the tertiary characters in every episode. See also: Andy and his V addiction. -D]

Amnesia
I know it’s from the books. I know Eric’s face was hilarious when Sookie found him. I know there will be funny lines as a result of this plot line. And that’s all good. But I also suspect it will be used to turn Eric into a do-gooding woobie with a heart of gold and a forgiveness for all the killing and lying and Lafayette torturing in his past. And I think that’s bunk. I’m fine with an evil character being redeemed, but that works a lot better when they earn it through actual redemption and effort, not because they got knocked upside the head with some Latin and now Sookie wants to give them doe-eyes. I’ve never read the books, so I have no idea of the actual outcome of this plot, but I’m not excited about the possibilities. Of course, this being True Blood, the writers will ignore all good possibilities and burn through the bad ones in an episode. So who knows. -Z

[I'm ready to go along with this storyline for a bit. If this is what finally gives Sookie and Eric some much needed make out time, without Eric proclaiming Sookie his property, I'm all for it. I hope amnesiac Eric bonds with Lafayette while he's getting his do-over. But I just fear, being familiar enough with Days of Our Lives plot-lines, that by mid-season, Eric will have his memory back and will begin faking his amnesia to manipulate poor dumbass, doe-eyed Sookie. -D]

Jason and the Methwolves
Oh, please, please, please can this plot end. I’m not sure what made me angrier: the stupid forward licking or everything else that happened, but I wanted it to end so badly. Jason is such a fun character that is consistently brought down by his dumb terrible plots featuring cracked out girls who he falls in love with for the sake of cracked out stories. Can’t he just be a nice, stupid guy who walks around shirtless? Barring that, can’t we put him back in the religious cult? I think that was the only Jason plot I actually liked and it would give him the chance to interact with Eric, possibly the greatest team-up the show can do. -Z

[Yeah this storyline is my least favorite storyline and the one I'm least pleased to see carried over from last season. While the writers have wisely jettisoned most of the stuff that didn't work. Crystal and co are back and more irksome than ever. I was hoping Jason being a cop would've meant that we'd see more of the buddy cop movie he and Andy seemed to star in last year, with Jason only popping up in Hot Shot for a few minutes a season just to remind us that he's saved the were-folk from their meth-addicted ways. -D]

Don’t Play It Again, Sam
While Sam isn’t a tertiary character like Arlene and the Bellefleurs, I still feel like he’s being unnecessarily placed in every episode even though he lacks an interesting storyline. No one cares about his newfound group of changeling pals, or his brotherly angst with Tommy. I think everyone can envision the writer’s room for the Sam/Tommy scenes. “Hm, these conversations are getting increasingly boring and repetitive. What can we do to make people care about it? Have them both be naked!” Points for that, I guess. Why do I get the feeling that when Sam found out from his other naked scene partner Luna (I had to look up her character’s name, since I cannot be paid to care) that she can turn into her family member after she killed her, that Sam or Tommy will be dead and impersonating the other by season’s end? And even the promise of that isn’t all that intriguing! The last time I cared about Sam was when he was having dreams with his vampire blood connected frenemy Bill. Why not do more with that dropped storyline? Being that Bill’s king storyline hardly seems like it’ll sustain itself over the course of the season, I think it’s time to put these two together and hopefully cancel the boring out. -D

Each week Dennis and I assemble a list of our favorite (and least favorite) moments of the latest episode of True Blood.

“She’s Not Here”

BLOODY GOOD
Jessica and Hoyt: A True-to-Life-ish True Blood Romance
I’m digging the direction that Jessica and Hoyt are going. Yep, (and yay!) these two are still together. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t weathering some problems. He’s mad she isn’t making him dinner (I thought Hoyt would be more progressive than that, but whatever), and she has a wandering vampire eye. I hope they survive! -D

[Oh man, DISAGREE! I love Hoyt and Jessica to pieces, but apparently because they were the only people on the show who weren't grumpy, pointlessly angry assholes, that had to change! I'm not going to assume too much based off a few scenes in one episode, but glle. -Z]

Bill and the Elderly
Look, I’m as much anti-Bill as anyone (so boring!) but Bill speaking at retirement centers and doing ribbon cuttings? The role he was born to play! If that was Bill’s entire plotline this year (and sadly, it’s not) I would be the happiest camper. Bill as a grumpy town council member is so much more realistic and interesting to me than Bill as angry vampire king. -Z

Pam, Vampire Advisor
I like that Pam is giving Jessica love advice (even if, sadly, that advise is to dump Hoyt, she got some good zingers in). More of this, show! -D

[Pam continues to be the best reason to watch this show (my notes from the episode: Yay Pam, boo everything else! Even her stilted reading of the Fangtasia ad bullshit was just perfect. Pam! -Z]

Continuity
Remember that bellboy from the first season? He’s back for five minutes! I have to admit, I’m a little impressed. -Z

Finally! Time Passes!
After having to suspend my disbelief that all of this stuff was happening to these characters over the course of just a number of days, I’m happy the show has finally skipped ahead a bit. -D

Lafayette’s Hair
Is awesome. Keep being awesome, Lafayette. And your boyfriend is adorable. Just get him to stop forcing you to do stuff you’re not comfortable with and I will be happy forever. -Z

Bring on the Bellefleurs!
Having some idea of characters in the books (having read the first book and an obscene amount of Wikipedia entries on the rest of the series) I’m happy to see Andy’s sister has finally shown up on screen. Maybe this lawyer can be a more fleshed out female character than most of those in Bon Temps? -D

Good for You, Tara
Even though she makes the “Bites” section too, since, well, it’s Tara, I am pleased with one thing this show did: After seeing Tara ride out of town, she has actually spent the last off-screen year out of town. Though I’m sure Tara’s non-Bon Temps time won’t last much longer… -D

[Tara not being in Bon Temps--and having an apparently lie-based, but otherwise good relationship--made me really happy. Tara is wrongly hated on, I feel, and last year got especially bad. It's nice to see her happy even if it's fleeting. -Z]

Tommy Fortenberry
Much as Tommy got kind of annoying by the end of last season, and we kind of were fine with his likely demise, I’m intrigued that he’s alive and somehow latched on to mother from hell Maxine Fortenberry. What happened to Maxine’s plan to stake Jessica? And what happened to her partner-in-crime, Hoyt’s crazy doll-loving ex Summer? Maybe Summer and Tommy can shack up and have lots of creepy babies. And then their creepy baby can grow up and date Rene and Arlene’s creepy doll decapitating kid! I demand another flash forward so we can make this happen. -D

[Thoroughly DISAGREE. The best thing about last season was that Tommy might be dead, but sigh guess not. The replacement Hoyt aspect is intriguing, though. -Z]

BITES
Time Jumps!
Time jumps are typically the arena of lazy writers trying to get plots to move forward without the work. Fortunately for us True Blood viewers, it hardly matters because it’s a year later and everyone is still arguing over the same dumb shit. Sookie may have lost a year, but save for a few job title changes, she’s going to catch up really fast. Sam still a moody dick? Check! Andy still somehow a police officer? Check! Arlene still thinking that serial killing is somehow in DNA instead of reading a damn book? Check! Eric and Bill still having a dick measuring contest over Sookie’s precious flower? Check! Lafayette still not so sure he wants to be magic, but is being forced to anyone because no one respects his boundaries? Check and check! Welcome back, Sooks.

In Louisiana Everyone Gets New Haircuts Once a Year
Ok, so we flashed forward a year, and we’re trying to signify some stuff has changed here. But, does that mean everyone have to look differently to signify this. Eric, Bill, and Jesus all look newly freshened, whether it be new do’s, or vampire/’witch chemical peels, and Jason got a dumb goatee. Although it’s not out of the realm of possibility that Jason would think he had to grow facial hair to be a serious police officer . -D

Fairyland
I’m so glad the fairy reveal was built up so much so that we could find out that fairies are…evil elves? Or something? And they feast on light? And time runs differently? I don’t expect all my questions to be answered (or, honestly, care if they are) but I’m glad they were able to waste so much time to get Sookie to cry over another person’s death. Hopefully that watch is a super important plot point! -Z

Bad Use of Good Wife Cast Members
Following in the grand tradition of recurring Good Wife judge/last season’s big bad Denis O’Hare, it’s nice to see other Good Wife familiar faces Gary Cole and Chris Butler showing up this year. But, surely they could’ve been utilized better. With Good Wife, The West Wing, and The Brady Bunch movies, Gary Cole is a big enough name to have him do more than show up as Sookie’s long-lost grandpappy, and then immediately die. What was the point of bringing him back? Just to give a watch to Jason before oops, accidentally dying? Couldn’t he have just stayed in Fairyland with everyone else? And Chris Butler didn’t get much screen time either, playing one of Sam’s weird changeling friends. Is Sam a changeling swinger now? Were they having a horse orgy (a hor-gy?) So many questions that I’m not sure I want answers to. -D

No One Understands Sookie
When Andy said to Sookie “You’re not the type of person to leave without telling no one” I laughed a lot. Isn’t that exactly the type of person Sookie is? Isn’t that exactly what she’s been doing for the last three seasons? I mean, granted, never for a year, but it’s hardly out of character. -Z

Eric Is Creepy
Isn’t he the vampire we’re supposed to like? Aren’t the writers aware there is a difference between rooting for the sexy bad boy (hot) and rooting for the creepy dude who wants to possess a lady (not hot)? I guess not, because Eric bought her house so he could own her. Awesome. At the very least, isn’t Eric savvy enough to say something charming, like Jason wanted to sell it and he didn’t want Sookie to lose it when she got back, rather than taking about owning her? Vampires! They have more time to study human behavior than anyone and yet they still really suck at it. -Z

Ugh. Tara
Last we saw Tara, she was riding off to parts unknown, with her shiny new car and her fancy new haircut. Now, a year later, Tara’s hair is grown out (I guess she got a haircut about a year too soon?), and she’s an extreme fighting lesbian. Well, sure. There were stupid blind items on stupid websites about how one of the characters was going to “go gay” (who hasn’t at this point? Well, Hoyt and Jessica, but I’m sure they’ll be having bi-curious threesomes by midseason anyway), and many speculated it was Tara because if it had been anyone more interesting the item wouldn’t have been blind. But the stupid blind items explained that it “made sense” for the character to be gay. I find it sort of offensive that the show is like, yeah, Tara got raped by a creepy vampire dude, so of course she’d be hooking up with ladies now. I wish we could have seen Tara still having issues with being intimate with someone, male or female, post-Eggs and post-Franklin, but I guess that’s too much to ask for. -D

King Bill of Louisiana
First, the reveal of this information was irritating because I had already guessed that Bill was king. And I had forgotten pretty much all of season three before the Previously On and don’t read anything about the show. This was not something that should have been presented as surprisingly. Secondly, I don’t care? I mean, I just can’t think of a way that Bill will be vampire king that won’t annoy me every week. Dark Bill is slightly more intriguing that Normal Bill, but they’re both variations on Bland. Third, the vampire political world-building on this show is generally poorly done and I don’t relish the idea of spending more time with it. Especially after watching Game of Thrones which established a political system in a fantasy world really well, I can’t see how spending any time with the Vampire Hierarchy of Huh? What? is going to increase my enjoyment of the show. -Z

Hot Shot: Still Exists
WHY????? -Z

Each week Dennis and I assemble a list of our favorite (and least favorite) moments of the latest episode of True Blood.

60: Should Have Asked for Puppy

Tyrion Lannister, a short blonde man, is holding on to the edge of a circular pit.

Game of Thrones: “A Golden Crown”

Robert: Well, that was a handful. I felt like the show kicked things up a notch last week and although things got a little silly, it didn’t let up one bit in “A Golden Crown”. Daenerys secures her place as queen of the Dothraki and a frustrated Viserys thinks his time to lead the Dothraki army has come. Tyrion appeals to Lysa Arynn’s need for justice, only to mock her court with tales of “making the bald man cry” and so forth. When the king bails on all the drama between the Starks and Lannisters and goes off for a hunt, he leaves Ned (who, despite his wife’s actions, he seems to still trust more than any Lannister) in charge of the throne. And when it seemed like every thread was starting to right itself, it all went upside down. Tyrion does some fast-talking and legal wrangling and finds himself a free man, Ned hears about Gregor’s marauding and proceeds to basically shut down his knighthood and put out an APB on him, and when Viserys threatens his sister to get his promised reward, Khal Drago obliges in a most-horrifying fashion. That last part I didn’t see coming, and because we’re dealing with a fantasy world, I half-expected Viserys to become some kind of golden-masked zombie freak, but it definitely looked like he was a goner, and I can’t complain about that.

Zoe: I thought Catelyn’s kidnapping of Tyrion was the stupidest thing a Stark would ever do, but then there’s Ned, proving me wrong. I can’t imagine hunting Ser Gregor is going to go well for anyone involved (sorry, recently introduced knight!) and even though the king trusts him, you can’t really have your Hand declaring open war. Still, at least Ned has figured out there’s something fishy about all those blonde Lannister children–but that probably won’t go over too well either. I find it interesting that some time was devoted to Sansa and Joffrey’s romance. I don’t believe the latter has any emotions, and while Sansa can be irritating it’s hard to see her naivety preyed upon. And really, is her naive, starry-eyed world view so different from Ned’s? Ned believes so strongly in justice he’s probably going to be arrested for treason because he’s too noble to accept the politics behind ruling a kingdom. I’m not saying I want Daenerys dead, but Robert’s reasoning is pretty good. Hopefully Ned’s foolishness won’t end with his own golden crown.

Camelot: “Igraine”

Robert: The tricky thing about having one character masquerading as another is that there have to be shades of both for it to really work. My favorite example of this is the dual character switch in Face/Off, where John Travolta takes over Nicolas Cage’s role while also acting like Nicolas Cage, and vice versa. He looks like Castor Troy, but Sean Archer is clearly at the wheel, and yet there are moments where the essence of Castor Troy has to be present to keep the masquerade going. For better or worse, Camelot tries to pull that off here, and in some respects, it works. Claire Forlani plays Fake Igraine (Migraine?) with just enough Morgan under the surface, while also playing Real Igraine desperately trying to find a way out of captivity at Pendragon, but things start to lose focus when Fake Igraine befriends a child in Camelot and becomes the touchy-feely, motherly type. Suddenly, it doesn’t quite feel like Morgan is really in there anymore. Almost the entire episode goes by before we finally get to the part that matters—Fake Igraine confides in Leontes and exposes Arthur’s secret affair with Guinevere. When the boy accidentally falls to his death by her doing, Merlin’s oath to personally take out the person responsible—not to mention Real Igraine escaping and returning to Camelot—foretells that we probably won’t be seeing much of Fake Igraine from here on out. Still, the Arthur/Leontes conflict is now in motion and Morgan has managed to sidestep Merlin’s Spidey-senses, so it’ll be interesting to see what happens in the last two episodes of the season, but the worst part of this episode: no Eva Green. Sad-face.

Happy Endings: “The Shershow Redemption”

Dennis: Happy Endings is really starting to fit into the ABC comedy line-up nicely, but I don’t necessarily mean that as a compliment. I gave up on Modern Family, Cougar Town, and the recently canceled Better with You earlier this season because I demand a certain amount of consistency from my comedy that they never provided (though my roller coaster-like relationship with Cougar Town kind of compells me to catch up on it this summer), and I’m finding to be Happy to be equally as unable to find a rhythm. I was sort of ambivalent to this week’s season finale. Few things ellicited a laugh from me, though I sort of hope the show brings back Penny’s over-the-top other gay friend Derrick more next season. More impressions of Kenickie, and Niles from Frasier, please!

House: “Moving On”

Zoe: Another House season, another dramatic and mostly nonsensical ending. The deaths didn’t stick and the shootings didn’t stick and the firings didn’t stick and the relationships didn’t stick, so we get House banned from the hospital forever–or at least until November sweeps. I would talk about how boring and rote this show has become, except that’s been true for seasons. I would talk about how the soap opera is ridiculous, except it’s been the shining light in an otherwise mediocre season. Instead, I would like to talk about High Laurie. I recently rewatched some of A Little Bit of Fry and Laurie and while Stephen Fry may be a public intellectual now, Hugh Laurie has clearly gone on to bigger fame. And yet, except for when they let House play music, his greatest talents are being wasted. The comedy of House no longer comes from biting sarcasm–it comes from viewers laughing at the show. This isn’t the show it started out as, which is fine, but it’s not even a show taking advantage of it’s greatest asset. I’m not sure if I can stick out another season in the World of Constant Psychoanalysis of Your Friends, Coworkers, Patients, Delivery Men, Etc, but I do hope that the House of the Run plot next season allows Laurie to have a bit of fun. It can be a little dreary to be a viewer of this show–I can’t imagine what being the main part of it would do.

59: The Search Is Over?

A picture of Warren Buffett against a beige wall. Buffett is an elderly white man in a dark suit with a red tie.

The Office: “Search Committee”

Scott: Let’s get the discussion of this actual episode out of the way before getting to what we actually care about, which is obviously the casting of Steve Carell’s replacement. So… this episode was pretty much a big fat flop, especially last week’s surprisingly great Dwight-centric storyline. The much-publicized parade of stars was a total bust, and a miscalculation. While I can see the producers and writers thinking a one scene cameo from Jim Carrey was a hilarious bait and switch, I think nearly everyone watching felt shafted. Now, on to my speechifyin’, then a little more discussion on the candidates.

I am surprised that I’ve found myself caring about what happens on The Office so much in the back half of this season. While a lot of people tuned out years ago, I’ve found the show consistently hilarious enough that I’ve always watched. I’ve never thought of it in terms of seasons or years or arcs, it’s just always The Office, existing in a  timeless vacuum that always looks, sounds and feels the same. It is a reassuring constant in an ever-changing world. That consistency is what will make this show continue to earn hundreds of millions of dollars in syndication. And that consistency is what’s being shaken up for the very first time by Carell’s departure. Choose someone awful and my precious normalcy will be forever shattered. The first part of the equation — Michael Scott’s actual departure — was handled better than I ever could have imagined, with minor debits for wasting Will Ferrell. But will they stick the landing and find a good replacement?

First, the internal candidates. If this was a real office, I would give the job to someone who worked their way up. But this is a TV show, and one that needs some new blood. If this was a real audition episode, and we didn’t know Ray Romano has a great show already and Warren Buffett is a quadrillionaire, here would be my rundown: Jim Carrey was a one joke fake-out, Will Arnett didn’t make an impression, Ricky Gervais should’ve ended up on the cutting room floor. We keep hearing that there are only two real candidate: Catherine Tate and James Spader. I know Tate has a lot of fans, so presumably she’s funny, but I went into this episode rooting for her as someone who adores British comedy and funny women and came out thinking her casting would be a trainwreck that would get the show canceled immediately. That leaves Spader, who did the creepy/hilarious thing he does so well. According to Hollywood gossip rags, the producers want Tate because she can do warmth and ineptitude like Carell did, but trust me: a mass American audience is not going to like Tate. If NBC has any sense, they’ve called Spader to offer him the job this morning, and after one last season of The Office they’ll start a new spinoff, The Boston Office, with William Shatner.

Game of Thrones: “The Wolf and the Lion”

Robert: In just four episodes, we’ve already gotten a lot of story spanning a lot of time over several locations, but for this episode to start off in the same place right after last week’s…it feels like a trick or something. After the ill-fated joust match that kills Ned’s only lead, Gregor loses to the appropriately-named Knight of Flowers and does something to a horse that only Don Corleone could be proud of. Then it’s all about everyone in King’s Landing whispering in Ned’s ear about the king and who’s been doing what. I like that the show is suddenly more focused now, but it also feels abridged by comparison, as if we’ve glossed over what’s been happening elsewhere (because, as we all know, time just flies by in this show, or does it?). On the other hand, I found it an interesting choice that instead of seeing the Targaryens and their forever-long trek with the Dothraki, we’re instead shown the other side of the equation as news of Daenerys’ pregancy finally makes its way to King’s Landing. Catelyn reunites with her unstable sister, Tyrion finds himself locked away, Arya overhears plotting against Ned, Varys and Littlefinger square off with their secrets, and when Jamie corners Ned and it seemed like he was going to put up a magnificent fight to save his own hide, one of Jamie’s men pulls a complete bitch move and spears him in the leg. Bah!

Zoe: As I described to my younger brother, shit went down this week. After a few exposition-heavy episodes this week we get: Tyrion killing a man, a new location, a conspiracy to kill Ned (and the king), Catelyn’s crazy sister, a plot to kill Daenery’s, Ned resigning, and shit finally going down between the Starks and the Lannister’s. It’s a lot to fit in an hour, but the show does it wonderfully. The pacing was perfect–exciting when it needed to be, but never afraid to linger on some very weird moments. I have to say, as good as the past few episodes have been, I’m excited to see more action. I don’t need giant battle scenes every week, but I’m also tiring of characters doomsaying with “winter is coming” and nothing happening yet. Given the direction I know the series is going (vaguely), I’m excited to see the action play out. While exposition is necessary on this show (there are still characters names I’m learning), lingering on it too long is a disservice to all viewer types. When the actors are this good–and how great were scenes like The Spider and Littlefinger spy vs. spying each other?–there’s really no need to let us know who Theon is again, even if it does give us our first (of many?) dick shots.

90210: “To the Future!”

Dennis: For the second year a row, here I am writing about how much I disliked the 90210 finale. Will I ever learn? Will I ever stop watching this show? Probably not, on both counts. Liam and Annie got a sudden case of “oh hey, it’s season finale”-itis, broke up for no apparent reason, and he went to work on a Deadliest Catch-esque fishing boat. Meanwhile, Noami got cliffhanger-itis and found out she was knocked up. And Teddy and Marco? Reduced to glorified extras this whole hour. I guess it could be worse. Ryan and Debbie weren’t even in the episode, and word has it they won’t even be on the show next year. I guess that began a little early? Don’t even get me started on Adrianna’s storyline. As she sat rambling to a ghost on a cliffside about how she wasn’t going to kill herself, despite having manipulated Naveen and Silver (suddenly, the two stupidest characters on the show, even though they’re supposed to be two of the smartest), never have I more wanted a strong gust of wind to finish someone off. Here’s hoping the umpteenth showrunners commissioned to re-re-re-boot this spin-off next season can fix this mess.

Camelot: “The Long Night”

Robert: A couple of weeks ago, I suggested that Camelot was about to take a new leap forward as Morgan found new backing in her effort to reclaim the throne, and even though “The Long Night” did some of that, it took a big step backwards first. Because some things have to be learned the hard way, Arthur accepts another invitation to wine and dine at Castle Pendragon, this time with Merlin, Guinevere, Leones, Igraine—basically the whole Camelot crew—in tow. It really makes no sense why a king with threats looming abroad would leave his castle with all his best advisors and warriors at his side, and honestly, it felt like the writers decided that, even though Merlin just went through an ordeal during their last visit to Morgan’s crib, they needed a “do over” in order to move the story forward. Granted, Arthur seemed none the wiser to Merlin’s predicament last time (I like you, Merlin, but stop being so somber and cryptic. Speak up, man! Your king is clearly blind without you!), and after spending a night under siege at Pendragon by unseen invaders, he once again comes away oblivious to Morgan’s involvement or her switcheroo with Igraine. Now that we’ve circled around to take care of that little bit of business, the Morgan’s real treachery and usurping can begin. Really sexy treachery and usurping, that is.

Raising Hope: “Don’t Vote for This Episode”

Dennis: This flashback-filled season finale really reminded me how much I’ve come to enjoy this show over its first season. Besides seeing Goth Jimmy and a slightly more lucid Maw Maw, it was great to see the recurring the characters when Jimmy was 18, from Hope’s future homicidal baby mama, to a not-yet-gap-toothed Shelley, to an overweight Barney. I think that being fond of all the characters, not just the regulars is a true testament to a good show. And I’m happy this good show will be back for a second year!

Breaking In: “21.0 Jump Street”

Dennis: Well, I finally checked in on this show… just in time to see it reach its (probable series) finale. There was talk of Fox possibly uncancelling this comedy if it did well in the ratings without its Idol ratings crutch, and I had hope it would do that, paired with Raising Hope, but alas not. I feel bad for Bret Harrison and Christian Slater both at this point. They’re both unlucky with shows, especially likable in thes roles and surely they’ll find a hit series some day (or some season) soon. Right? Right?

Bones: “The Change in the Game”

Zoe: Bones hasn’t been good for at least two seasons, if not more. It’s gone from a show I love to watch, to a show that’s great to have on while I am doing other things. As someone who was a big fan it’s always disappointing to see something you love go downhill so fast, but given the nature of procedural TV it was expected. This season, though, will be my last. It was dreadful in every way that procedurals can be, with the added bonus of completely losing touch with Bones‘ one benefit–it’s strong (and relatively consistent) characterization. All that was thrown away in favor of treating Bones like an idiot infant. While she’s also been strange about social norms, there was at least a sense she understood them (generally) and choose to reject them. I mean, the lady is a best selling author and presumably part of that is because she can write people decently.

On top of all that, the finale gave us not only the birth of Hodgins and Angela’s son who, despite much hand-wring, wasn’t blind, but also the revelation that Bones is pregnant. With Booth’s baby. Because that how TV works–if you hook up once, you’re guaranteed a pregnancy! It is, after all, all ladies are good for. I have to hand it to Bones, though. Not only did they manage to take all the fun out of a “will they/won’t they” situation by having the characters actually create a schedule for when they would become emotionally invested in each other, they skipped right from the sexy fun to the tedious baby having part. At least Hodgins and Angela had seasons of chemistry and relationship development. Bones just gets a baby because Rickety Cricket knocked her up, Thumbs way down.

The Good Wife: “Closing Arguments”

Dennis: Even if the stupid CBS promos gave away the whole end to this season (Will and Alicia’s overdue elevator make-out session, with Mika’s “Any Other World” playing in the background), I still enjoyed this fast-paced finale. Good Wife has probably been my most consistent and enjoyable shows of the season and I’m going to be bummed to not have it around for a few months. I’m going to be even more bummed when it comes back in the fall on Sundays and football time shifts it all around the night. I mean, I love football, but I love my Margulies more. You don’t hear that every day, that’s for sure.

Castle: “Knockout”

Robert: Earlier in the season, as my annoyances with Castle grew into outright frustration, I remember thinking that this show had to start taking some chances and not settle into the mediocre (albeit safe) territory it had found itself. When the show premiered in 2009, it felt fun and fresh and gave us an outlet to admire our favorite browncoat again, but two seasons later, all that novelty had worn off for me. I’d stopped watching halfway through this season and it was only blind luck that I happened to catch this week’s season finale, but I’m glad I did. In “Knockout”, Castle is all but cast aside as Beckett discovers some startling new facts about her mother’s murder—which, frankly, I thought was already given enough airtime in last season’s weighty “Sucker Punch”—and how Capt. Montgomery is linked to it all. There’s something to do with assassins and betrayals and so forth, but as is the case with Castle, it’s only the (usually upbeat) emotional ride that matters. Montgomery says his last goodbyes to his unknowing family, Ryan and Esposito tear at each other over their doubts, Beckett grapples violently with Montgomery’s sacrifice to save her, and in the end, Castle finds himself in a situation far more dire than any of us could have expected. It’s a stinging cliffhanger for anyone who put money on a breezy Castle/Beckett get-together to end the season, but for what it’s worth, I like that the show went to a really dark place for once. With the direction the show is now pointed in, I’m not sure if it was quite what the doctor ordered, but it’s enough to get me back on board, and I can only hope that next season capitalizes on this big shake-up.

Happy Endings “Bo Fight” and “Barefoot Pedaler”

Dennis: Why does ABC feel the need to air its comedy series’ episodes out of order? They’ve done it with Samantha Who?, Scrubs, and Better Off Ted in the past, and now they’re doing it here. Dave and Max have been living together for weeks, and then all of a sudden now the network gets around to airing the episode in which Dave moves in? And then gets around to airing one of the “Dave and Alex start to get along better even though she left him at the altar” episodes that would’ve made much more sense weeks ago too? ABC seems to have faith in this show. After all, it renewed it and gave it a plum post-Modern Family slot for fall, but here’s hoping they show it by airing episodes in order next year. What a novel idea!

58: No More Teachers, No More Paintball

Troy, Abed, Jeff, and Annie are all standing by a tree. Jeff is wearing a cowboy at and western-style clothes and the other three are covered in red paint.

Community: “For a Few Paintballs More”

Rawles: While I wouldn’t say that anything could compare to the original paintball episode, I do think this finale surpassed most of the rest of this season. Troy battling Jeff for leadership, Shirley and Britta saving the day, and Abed taking a turn as Han Solo all held their own special delights. It’s been an uneven year for Community with a few nagging storylines that I constantly wished would go away — not to mention obviously a little confused about how to best utilize all of its characters — but at the very least the Pierce storyline was actually leading somewhere. The only remaining issue with it is the fact that I assume I’m supposed to be sad about him leaving the study group. Er…

Dennis: Surprise! Another Roundtable where undoubtedly 8900 people will probably write about Community! Don’t get me wrong, I like this show, but even I’m kind of sick of hearing about it. I’m kind of happy it’s over because we’ll finally go a few weeks without dissecting this show. But, I sure do wish the season had ended on a better note. I really dug last week’s paintball sequel, but maybe making it an hour long (over the course of two weeks, no less) was a bad choice. The momentum that last week built up, sort of puttered out. City College was behind the nefarious conspiracy? Lame. Abed and Annie kissed? Well, the show did declare early on that everyone could potentially make out with everyone, and I think it’s almost averaging more hook-ups than the Gossip Girl cast at this point. And who didn’t see it coming that Pierce would be the one to ultimately save the day? And who didn’t foresee that he wouldn’t walk back in the study room at episode’s end? That’s all I’ll say about that, since we’ve undoubtedly wasted enough ink (or whatever the blogging equivalent of being wasteful is) on the name “Pierce” this season. I wasn’t even that pleased with the random (but not entirely surprising), silent Cougar Towncast members’ cameo (seriously, did ABC tell them they could appear on NBC as long as they didn’t speak!?). I’m glad it’ll be back, but I’m looking forward to a Community-free summer.

Zoe: You know, as much as I love Community, it’s hard to say a lot about it. It’s either really, really fun to watch that week or just “pretty good”. I would label this week as “pretty good”–not because it didn’t hold up to the standards of last year’s paintball episode, but I just wasn’t very invested in it as a plot. There was fun with Abed playing Han and everyone groaning over Jeff’s douchery–and I was pretty amused by Shirley’s lack of investment in the proceedings, but overall it didn’t quite feel like a finale. On the other hand, it seems like Pierce is gone for a bit and in a way I liked. We’ll see how long this sticks, but at least I got one wish from this season!

The Good Wife: “Getting Off”

Dennis: Hooray! As I requested last week, more Alicia and Jackie face-offs. Yet again, Jackie tried to manipulate Alicia’s kids, and our Good attorney wasn’t having any of it. Although, from her comments, something tells me Jackie might have some dirt on the Florrick kids that could look badly on Alicia’s parenting? As long as it brings more strong lady battles! Also, just one week after Martha Plimpton took time out of her Raising Hope schedule to reprise her recurring role, Mamie Gummer came back on the map (get it!? Because she’s on Off the Map) to reprise her recurring role as rival lawyer Nancy Crozier, as well. As is often the case with The Good Wife, the show’s main case was far too simplistic (non-monogamous marriages clearly always end in murder) and took a back seat (though Sarah Silverman was surprisingly compelling in a dramatic role. Who knew?) to the dramas of Alicia, Jackie, and Kalinda. If CBS’ spoiler-tastic promos are to be believed, Will and Alicia FINALLY suck face next week, to which I say: Bring. It. On.

The Office: “Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager”

Scott: Like you and the rest of civilization, I was ready to write off The Office entirely after last week. In fact, I hated the first half of this episode even more. As expected, there’s a gigantic Carell-sized hole in the Carell-less Office. Hell, removing the star of anything makes it a conceptual art project about the importance of that star, which we’ll probably see again this fall when Ashton Kutcher becomes the long-lost and/or recently released from prison uncle or whatever on Two and a Half Men. But after a bumpy first half, ”Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager” tapped into a vein of deep sadness that The Office hasn’t mined since the show decided Michael Scott was a lovable ne’er-do-well instead of an incompetent moron. Dwight K. Schrute’s short and violent reign as head of Scranton’s Dunder Mifflin branch was the closest The Office US has ever gotten to David Brent begging for his job at the end of The Office UK, which is arguably the greatest moment in arguably the greatest TV comedy of the past decade. I wouldn’t quite elevate Dwight to the comic pantheon of desperate, needy, compelling jerks like Brent, Hank Kingsley and Kenny Powers just yet, but Rainn Wilson (who’s never been my favorite comic actor) convincingly took Dwight from his most egocentric to most defeated in a matter of minutes, and made Dwight sympathetic for once. Now to see who’s the permanent boss. I’m pulling for James Spader or Warren Buffett.

Nikita: “Pandora”

Rawles: The second part of Nikita‘s two-part season finale once again employed just enough twists and turns and reversals to evoke Classic Nikita. While Nikita’s apparent “death” held little suspense as it was obvious Alex was attempting to orchestrate some way to get them both out of their precarious position, the rest of the episode moved into more interesting territory. With Amanda’s defection to Oversight (or, rather, the fact that perhaps she was never much on his side in the first place) Percy seems to be running low on remotely loyal operatives. Michael has gone entirely AWOL with Nikita and Birkoff is sympathetic to the Bring Down Division cause. If the show does get picked up for a second season, it feels like they’ll need a new castmember or two just to balance things out or else it will become a bit unbelievable that with all of this highly competent opposition, Percy is still standing. It’s good, however, that the writers clearly determined the simplistic “find and destroy the black boxes” goal couldn’t sustain itself indefinitely. There are only six and eventually it becomes repetitive. This new idea of using the knowledge within to attempt to right some of the wrongs that Division has done opens up a lot of new possibilities and gives a lot more breathing room. The addition of Oversight to the fold — with the excellent casting of Alberta Watson, La Femme Nikita‘s Madeline, the analogue to Amanda, as one of them — also does a good deal for tension. Especially since Alex is in the throes of striking up a deal with them to reclaim her father’s criminal empire from the people who orchestrated her family’s death. As ever, one of the strongest points of the entire show was the relationship between Alex and Nikita. Alex feels betrayed and thankfully — considering how well Alex knows the paucity of choice involved in being a Division agent — it’s not necessarily the knowledge that Nikita, herself, killed her father, but the fact that Nikita never told Alex. She’s telling herself that she’s let Nikita go, that she doesn’t care anymore, and while it’s obviously untrue, it will be fascinating to see how Alex interacts with Amanda now that Amanda has also saved her life and she’s down one mentor. Here’s hoping for a second season so that we can find out this and many other things.

Parks & Recreation: “The Fight” and “Road Trip”

Dennis: With 30 Rock done for the season and no one exactly clamoring to watch Perfect Paul Resier Outsourced Couples or whatever occupies the 3rd hour of the NBC comedy block these days, I’m glad NBC saw fit to double up on Parks & Rec. The first episode saw laugh out loud moments with everyone (save for Chris and Donna) drunk, and the second episode finally gave us that long overdue kiss between Ben and Leslie. And hey, there was even a reference to Jonathan Franzen’s Freedom! Community might have all the cool film references but at least Parks & Recreation has books cornered!

South Park: “Royal Pudding”

Scott: Trey Parker and Matt Stone are tired. Their first stage musical, The Book of Mormon, has opened to rave reviews and sells out every night. But putting on a Broadway show is a lot of work. Like, watching it five times a day for six months, meticulously picking apart every second of music, acting, choreography, sets, lighting, and so on. So once the thing’s on the stage you’d think they’d get a nice vacation to unwind, right? Noooooooooo, they’ve got a half season of South Park on deck, and they have to write, animate, and record the voices for every episode from start to finish in exactly a week’s time. Only Saturday Night Live has a crazier schedule, and 90% of the time it’s terrible. You’d think these episodes would be terrible too, but they’ve been pretty hilarious so far in that silly, brain-addled way you get when you’re totally exhausted. This week’s “Royal Pudding” might be one of my favorite episodes ever. I’ve always been a fan of Parker and Stone’s Canadian diversions; the sheer absurdism and even cruder than usual animation make them feel like a South Park spinoff on Adult Swim. The show treats Canadians much the way they treat Mormons: awestruck by their sweet ol’ fashionedness, perplexed by their odd traditions. Of course, the royal wedding provides even strange ceremonial fodder, and the consummation of the marriage by sodomy with a severed limb ranks in “Scott Tenorman Must Die” territory for just how gleefully sadistic South Park can get. Some have suggested that Parker and Stone are trying to get Viacom to fire them so they can devote their full attention to other projects, but hopefully they’ll stick around if South Park is going to stay this bizarre.

Lady Gaga Presents: The Monster Ball Tour at Madison Square Garden

Dennis: Admittedly, even I’ve started to grow tired of Gaga in recent months. She’s been furiously releasing songs from her new album, perhaps because none of them have really “clicked” the way previous singles have. And, I almost didn’ watch this special, having seen HBO promos with Gaga crying about being a “loser,” fearing it’d be way too much “behind the scenes” and not enough of the actual tour, which I had previously heard was pretty amazing. Luckily, I tuned in, since it was almost entirely Gaga at her actual best: live and singing. What many of the Gaga-haters don’t understand is that beyond the theatrics and funny costumes, she actually has a decent voice, and this was finally that showcase. Hell, I even liked the two renditions of “Born This Way” (as encore song, and then as an a capella backstage warm-up song while the credits played). I wish we would’ve seen underatted opening act The Scissor Sisters do a song or two (especially from their under-listened to newest album Night Work), but I guess Gaga figured that would’ve distracted from her own spectacle. And what a spectacular spectacle it was.

Game of Thrones: “Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things”

Zoe: I read somewhere this week–I think at the AV Club–that Eddard Stark is the wrong guy in the wrong story. He should be in LoTR, fighting Orcs and instead he’s dealing with the time-traveling former mayor of Baltimore who’s definitely taking him for a ride, I’m just not sure how. In fact, all the Starks are people who seem distinctly uncomfortable in places that aren’t their Northern strong hold. Robb can’t quite meet the standards of a Lord and Cate is ready to start a disastrous political situation with the Lannisters on shaky evidence at best. Even Jon Snow, who’s only gone farther North seems out of place and politically naive.

Nonetheless this week was mostly for, frankly, much needed exposition and it’s to the show’s great credit that it was well handed exposition. But as someone who has never read the books there are characters I was completely clueless about until the chance was taken to explain them. And on top of that we had Daenerys becoming even more awesome than she had been. Besides Tyrion, she’s the character I care most about…though I have to admit Jamie is growing on me and I’m hoping we’ll get to learn more of his backstory soon.

57: Summer is Coming

Annie in paintball gear.

Community: “A Fistful of Paintballs”

Paul: So I knew a paintball episode was coming, but I didn’t know it was going to have Lost‘s Josh Holloway as a badass paintball bounty hunter, and I didn’t know it was going to have Guy Ritchie title cards for the whole study group, and I didn’t know next week’s episode is going to be an hour long continuation. But what I did know was that it was going to be great. And boy howdy, was it ever great. Seriously, just go watch it if you haven’t already. The other thing I knew was that Pierce was going to be the worst—worse than the Lannisters, even—and on that count, I was dead accurate. Since there’s been no news about Chase leaving the show (has there?), I assume he’s going to redeem himself somehow in next week’s episode, which is the only part I’m dreading. He’s irredeemable, and he needs to go.

Zoe: A few weeks ago, during some particular Pierce awfulness, I would have argued that the show needs to redeem him–really redeem him–to make this character make sense anymore. But after last night’s episode, I’m not sure that redemption is possible, if it ever was. Frankly, the character was never posed as someone who made “sense” and while Pierce has had his moment, I think he’ll work much better as a villain. Or dead. I’m sorry, Pierce pushes my buttons–friendship isn’t supposed to be a demand, goddammit! Other than that, it feels impossible to comment on what is a mere prelude to next week. The episode this week was a lot of fun, especially with Annie being, well, awesome, but I’m really looking forward to the exciting conclusion.

Game of Thrones: “Lord Snow”

Paul: The third episode of GoT contained mostly setup, but it was good setup: Daenerys pissed her brother off, which is fine with me because I love Daenerys and her brother is an asshole. The Dothraki are also pretty great; that whole subplot is a massively guilty pleasure for me, really. Meanwhile, the Starks mostly suffered and worried a lot, which is probably reasonable because terrible things are going to keep happening to them. This show might as well be called “terrible things happen to the Stark family.” Ayra whined her way into swordplay lessons with Inigo Montoya, which, y’know, that’s pretty cool. I hope we see more of him. Tyrion Lannister continued to be hilarious, and his siblings continued to be the worst. Good times.

Zoe: I suppose the most important thing we learn this episode is that the Mayor of Baltimore is a sleazy huckster no matter what city he’s running–but he’s a lot more fun in this world. The other thing we learn is “winter is coming”. Great. This winter better be an ass-kicker, the way everyone keeps talking about it the way you would an impending Holocaust. I’m not so sure the Starks will need winter to ruin them, though, as the Lannister’s seem content to do that with or without the appropriate weather. And while I feel bad for the House of Stark (clearly positioned as the Good Guys right now) and while the Lannisters are clearly dicks, there’s really no one who’s free from the occasional jerkdom. No one except maybe poor, put upon Daenerys who’s increasingly becoming a bad ass. That and the Tyrion/John Snow friendship is what keeps me going.

Robert: I’ll admit I wasn’t really that excited about this show, if only because, like so many of HBO’s best series, I knew it’d be a big commitment. I figured if the buzz lasted past the first episode or two, I’d check it out, and I’m glad I did. It’s a extravagant production to say the least, and the complicated world that’s being built layer by layer is definitely what I like to see in works of fantasy. I know my cohorts here have some issues with the sort of visceral torment and/or gratuitous sexuality on display, but I have more of a problem with the occasional “fuck” getting thrown into the otherwise well-crafted dialogue. I say if a series trades in barbarism, then by all means it should be embraced (Starz’ Spartacus does this with appropriately-gleeful abandon) but again, that’s a matter of personal taste, I suppose. After watching the first three episodes back-to-back, my only real complaint with the show so far—it’s nitpicky at best, but I could see it being potential problem as the show goes on—is the way it indicates the passage of time. In just two episodes, Daenerys is suddenly two months pregnant while the journey from Winterfell to King’s Landing seems to be only days apart. I like to think all of these threads are progressing parallel to each other, and while I get that one can get away with only so many time-compressing montages of people traveling, the pacing feels entirely arbitrary to me. I am glad, however, that moments like the final scene in “Lord Snow” in which Arya is given a fencing lesson by Syrio Forel stay in, because it’s a perfect example of how Game of Thrones shouldn’t spare us the small moments. When the show comes back around to Arya (which it undoubtedly will) scenes like this will be all the more powerful.

Justified: “Bloody Harlan”

Scott: It may sound a little odd to describe a season finale that largely revolves around a druggy hillbilly gang war as “intimate”, but that’s exactly how Justified‘s pretty damned great second season went out this week. From season 1 to season 2, the show has mostly swapped out gunfights and action movie heroics with deeper, darker, sadder content that delves into broken families and decades-old emotional wounds. That’s not usually the kind of stuff that hooks viewers, especially compared to season 1′s strong one-and-done procedurals, but season 2′s audience has broadened considerably. I think that’s because everyone’s stuck around a lot longer this year. Mags Bennett, for example, would’ve worked great in a single episode arc, but over an entire season she’s become one of the best and most complex TV villains in the medium’s history: murderous but sympathetic, ruthless but loyal, maternal but menacing. In retrospect, Mags is the centerpiece of season 2, and seeing her go from backwoods kingpin, to flirting with cashing out for a semblance of legitimacy, and finally descending back into violence out of familial obligations and stubborn inability to let someone get the best of her, essentially makes her the Appalachian Michael Corleone. While some episodes of Justified have hit me harder (I think “The Spoil” still stands as the series’ single best episode ever), in sheer commercial terms “Bloody Harlan” is as effective as a season finale gets; almost every thread from season 2 has been tied up beautifully and every fan is dying to see what happens next in season 3.

The Good Wife: “In Sickness”

Dennis: I’m pleased to see that Raising Hope isn’t stopping Martha Plimpton from still popping up in her recurring role on this show. Plimpton was back this week as the always amusing Patti Nyholm and it was great to see her (albeit temporarily) on the same side as Will and Alicia (and against Ken Cosgrove himself, Mad Men‘s Aaron Stanton, moonlighting here also). But the main drama this week was the boiling over conflict between Alicia and Peter. Surprisingly, it wasn’t Alicia and Peter’s conflict that was the most compelling (with Cary scrambling for a job and Alicia dismissing Peter repeatedly, I figured Alicia’s two would-be enemies might find common ground), but the faceoff between Alicia and Peter’s always delightful mom from hell, Jackie. I could watch Julianna Marguiles and Mary Beth Peil just battle it for an hour every week if the writers let me.

The Vampire Diaries: “The Sun Also Rises”

Rawles: This episode ends with a hero shot of Damon walking away. I am not sure how exactly that connects to the rest of the episode given that Damon doesn’t actually do anything especially heroic. Before the shot in question, he was requesting that Stefan not inform Elena that he had been bitten by a werewolf in order to spare her grief. Despite not making much logical sense, it’s an odd request since he’s spent the last few episodes campaigning for Bonnie, Elena’s best friend, to die, something which Elena has repeatedly gone to great lengths both to prevent and to make clear how much it would destroy her were it to happen. I can only assume from the way the scene was shot, however, was that Damon’s vague intention to “spare” Elena pain when it comes to his own death is meant to be perceived as heroic and tragic. My prevailing thought was, “…So, am I supposed to care?” But I’m pretty sure I stopped being the audience for Damon a long time ago.

There were other things I found to care about in this episode, however. In grand end-of-the-season TVD fashion, there was a high death toll. John Gilbert, who won’t be missed, and poor, poor Jenna, who will. The show managed to back away — as I thought they might — from Elena becoming a vampire, though that happens fairly early on in the books on which the show is nominally based. It was a bit dissonant, in fact, from that perspective, that the quest to stop Elena from becoming a vampire was given the same, if not more, emotional weight in the episode as things like saving Jenna’s life. It’s not as if half of the main characters on the show aren’t already vampires and living relatively normal lives. The show’s use of be-spelled rings to allow vampires to walk in the daylight even gets rid of the major hinderance. Sure there’s the blood drinking, but the shows many vamps have sidestepped having to murder anyone for that purpose — or even assault them — in numerous and sundry ways. But I suppose that’s always a danger with a drama about vampires. Eventually, vampires become normalized so becoming one doesn’t really seem like that big of a deal, all said. Leaving the question of Elijah and Klaus open wasn’t something I expected. I imagined that whole business would finally be wrapped up by the end of the season which, granted, it still could be, but since we now have to contend with whatever horrible, abusive, murderous grossness Damon decides to get up to in celebration of being near death in the finale, I doubt we’ll have time for more Elijah and Klaus adventures.

Happy Endings: “Dave of the Dead”

Dennis: While technically two episodes aired this week, it was the second of this week’s Happy Endings that made me happiest. Zombie and hipster jokes? What more could I ask for? Casey Wilson was never my favorite Saturday Night Live cast member, so it’s a great surprise as to how much I’m enjoying her here. I liked her character’s relationship with Max the best on the show, and was quite amused by the hipster makeover she gave him. I understand that making fun of hipsters is kind of an easy target, but I haven’t often seen it done as well as it was here.

Camelot: “Guinevere”, “Lady of the Lake”, “Justice”

Robert: In the last few weeks, Camelot shifted its attention away from Morgan’s attempts to take over the throne, but in the meantime, we got to see Arthur and Merlin rebuilding Camelot and cultivating their new rule over the land. First up, Arthur lets go of his feelings—but not his lustful dreams—for Guinevere after she is married to Leontes (who manages to bring retired knight Gawain into the fold), Merlin seeks out a proper sword for Arthur and in the process causes/creates the legend of the lady in the lake and Excalibur, and we see the beginnings of the Round Table when Arthur imposes his own justice on a neighboring village to settle a public dispute. There’s a point where things get very procedural in “Justice” but when you consider it’s supposed to be the first instance of actual judicious case-solving ever, the amount of time spent on it seems warranted. The resulting verdict, albeit obvious, sets a new tone for Camelot and how Arthur wants to lead it.

But that’s not to say Morgan has been entirely absent. After inviting Arthur and Merlin to her castle for a supposed peace-making visit, she lures Merlin with drink and holds him against his will, where we get a hint of how haunted he is by his own abilities. Arthur returns home the next day believing Merlin’s simply flaked out again and left on his own. Later, through a bit of sorcery, Morgan creates a psychic connection with Arthur and discovers his weak spot: his affection for Guinevere. Yet, as Merlin warned, it comes at a cost. After a fevered struggle with darker forces, she succumbs to their power, but not before Sybil, a nun from her past, arrives to witness it. After Morgan is reborn momentarily appearing as Igraine, Sybil, who at first appeared to be a nagging thorn in her side, reveals that she’s actually willing to bolster Morgan’s cause. She advises Morgan that, in order to rule, people must be able to relate to her, and she uses her powers of manipulation to cause a rousing, opportune moment in which Morgan appeals to her subjects and swings them to her side. Thanks to this shift in power, the show has the opportunity to spin in a new direction, and Arthur, while just and principled, has his work cut out for him now that a re-energized Morgan has a new tactic (and a new disguise) to retaking the throne.

56: The Royal Slap

Peter Dinklage, a short white man with blonde hair, has recently slapped hus nephew, a teenager with blonde hair and a red leather shirt. There is also a tall, dark-haired man in the background.

Game of Thrones: “The Kingsroad”

Paul: I meant to comment on the first episode of Game of Thrones, but I forgot. So here are my thoughts so far:

I want to love this show, but it’s obvious to me that it’s going to be an extended series of awful things happening to the few decent people, while many terrible people go about their terrible business with impunity. I want to like Game of Thrones, but I have a limited stomach for character torture.

That said, man, this show looks amazing. The set and costume design is spectacular, and I hope the constant stream of despair doesn’t put me off it.

So far my favorite subplot is Daenerys Targaryen’s marriage to Khal Drogo, which is doing a thing I’m vaguely ashamed to admit I like (e.g. “the marriage of convenience that blossoms into genuine affection), although it’s going about it in a really unpleasant way. Basically what I’m saying, HBO, is that I could do with less softcore porn. I have to watch this show in a room with other people, y’know? It’s just awkward.

So at this point I’m basically watching in anticipation of the moment when Daenerys winds up being far more politically powerful than her asshole brother intended her to be, and visits payback for his assholery upon his head tenfold. Also watching Peter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister be snarky is guiltily enjoyable, although I pretty much want all Lannisters to die, forever.

Zoe: I was never a huge fantasy or sci-fi nerd, but given my love of vampire TV shows and the movie Reign of Fire, I probably err more to the fantasy end of things than anything. I never read any George R. R. Martin books (I was a Calling on Dragons, etc., gal), but my younger brother is a huge fan and I had heard good things about the show so I decided to check it out.

So far I am loving all the parts that are Peter Dinklage and with “pale enough to be a LoTR elf” lady. And while I am liking and enjoying everything else, I’m not sure how much I will be able to enjoy the few better than average people getting screwed a lot in the show. That, the T&A, and the racist-overtones of Khal Drago (something apparently missing from the book), give me pause for how long I will be able to watch this show before driving myself crazy.

And yet, it’s a bit addictive. Because it throws so any characters at you so fast, it’s hard to keep track without Wikipedia–which led me down the rabbit-hole of spoilers and new characters and so on. I have to admit I’m liking it enough to consider reading the books when this season ends. That and, well, I mentioned Peter Dinklage, right? He could be doing every single character as a monologue and that would be enough for me to tune in every week. Well, that and him slapping asshole princes.

Nikita: “Glass Houses”

Rawles: Alas, poor Jaden, we knew- well, actually no. We didn’t know her because the show perpetually fell down on offering insight into or adding depth to her character, despite an extremely fertile setup, before ignominiously killing her off. Moving along to things that don’t make me furious: at long last, after many episodes of clearly being suspicious of Alex, Amanda finding her out is both exciting and legitimately satisfying. The show has done a fairly good job of making Amanda seem like the truly formidable villain at Division. Percy is there, and dirty, and always up to something awful, certainly, and he’s the focus of our hero’s attentions, but they just hate him; they don’t fear him. Conversely, the moment way back in “All the Way” when Percy announces to a captured Nikita that they’re bringing in Amanda, it’s one of the only times we’ve ever seen her visibly frightened. Percy is the one who brings them in and who sends them out, but Amanda is the one who breaks them. She’s the one who controls them and she’s the one who understands best how to hurt them. The A-plot this episode wasn’t exactly dull, but a bit of a retread. Given the frequency with which Division agents seem to defect once being let outside, you’d think Percy would start trying something new. Though, to be fair, I guess the point was that he had realized that his Guardians aren’t especially secure. Due the retread nature of this particular Guardian’s dilemma, she mostly served as a narrative device to frame Nikita and Michael’s issues, which left it difficult to really connect with her. Though, her killing four agents in five seconds flat was pretty sweet. All and all, a middle of the road offering.

Community: “Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts”

Paul: It was barely even a B-plot, but the Indecent Proposal section of this episode just made me hate Pierce even more, which is impressive, because I already really hate that guy. That said, relegating him to background antagonist position was the right idea here, since I don’t think I could’ve stood listening to his abhorrent racist logorrhea while Shirley was giving birth in the Anthropology classroom.

Which is to say, yes, Shirley’s baby has been born! And although I wish the baby had in fact been Chang’s, his part in this episode was nonetheless touching, as was Shirley’s and Andre’s gesture. Britta was perfectly awkward, and her conversation with Jeff (“OMG baby!” “Wait, we’re too cool to care about babies”) was another great moment. And Troy and Abed got their handshake back. Miracles all around! Now: It’s time for some paintball.

The Office: “Goodbye, Michael”

Zoe: When I was a kid, my older brother would always accuse me of doing things because I had seen people on TV do them. This infuriated me, but was also usually right. Sometimes the best way I knew how to express an emotion was to act how Stephanie on Full House did–and sometimes the way I learned about emotions was to do that.

I don’t think this is that uncommon in kids, though we all are able to grow out of it (some more than others). Michael Scott is what happens when you don’t. His send off tonight was both sweet and unearned. The show had been building up to a touching send off for him–and his writing this season has earned this goodbye–but the idea of Michael is also the idea of the kid who has never had friends and is a jerk in groups. I believe you can grow to like that kid, but I’m not sure so many would grow to love him or think of him fondly.

I see Community‘s Pierce as the other part of the Michael Scott coin. He’s also friendless man child with petty, jerkish tendencies who wants to be the center of attention to. The difference is that Pierce is more aware of how much people dislike him and that Pierce didn’t grow up thinking he should act like a character on a sitcom. But there’s some Pierce in Michael Scott as many episodes will show you. Being aware of the different Michael’s and how terrible he had been, is what kept me from totally buying into the touching goodbyes. As much as the show has used Holly to force his redemption–and as good of a storyline as I think that has been–he’s also the guy who’s been unbelievable cruel to some of these people and humans just don’t forget that easily.

No matter. Now that Carrell is gone, and with him the heart of the show, there’s not really a reason to watch. In the meantime, I can appreciate the fine work that The Office has done growing his character this season into someone who someone else would want to marry, into less of a petty manchild, and who deserves the sweet farewell Pam gave him. And I’ll get ready to ditch the show at the season’s end because if D’Angelo is any indication, it’ll rough sailing for The Office from here on.

55: O! What a City

The cast of Community is a white, windowless room, wearing body restraints.

Community: “Paradigms of Human Memory”

Scott: After an unbelievably strong first half this fall, Community‘s second season has struggled to regain its footing since it came back in January. This is mostly for two reasons; 1) It largely dropped the genre parodies that served as a framework for each episode’s dense and hilarious riffing, and 2) we spent a lot of time with Chevy Chase’s Pierce in an attempt to redeem that character that ended up alienating most of the audience (myself included). This week’s “Paradigms of Human Memory” was easily the best episode the show has delivered in 2011 thus far, and a return to form both figuratively and literally. We got another parody, mocking the “remember that time when…” clip shows that filled out so many 80′s sitcom seasons, mostly with clips from episodes that never happened, including a western episode, an insane asylum episode, and a robot attack episode (actually, a western episode would probably be pretty awesome). As someone who usually hates parodies, I’m not sure why I’m only head over heels for Community when they’re spoofing something. Maybe it’s because I’m like Abed, and I can only communicate with pop culture references. Maybe it’s because genre trappings provide the cast with a perfect platform from which to explore their unexpectedly lovable characters. Or maybe it’s just because the people who make Community are some of the funniest people who ever lived and have a knack for crafting something fresh and unique from cliches.

Zoe: The secret truth of friendship–and hello, maturity–is realizing you’re never going to like everything about the people you love. There are always going to be things about them that annoy you or you wish weren’t there or whatever. Recognizing this truth and learning to love them anyways is what makes bonds strong. It’s also what TV has a hard time with–characters on TV consistently need friendships, groups, and relationships to fit some idea of perfection. Maybe this is because characters on TV are doomed to spend all their time with each other. Maybe because realistic strife is hard to write. Either way, TV friendships are either bounding along or facing issues because a person dared to buck the established protocol/change/what have you.

Enter this week’s Community in an episode that’s all about the difficulty of friendships. While I love the show and think some of the relationships portrayed on it are fabulous, I have to admit that sometimes the group’s dynamic seems too…easy. Too unrealistic. Pierce’s behavior this season has been a good example, but there’s also something about TV friendships where characters are always yelling faults at each other, but then hanging out all the time anyways. Having the group fight (combined with hilarious flashbacks to adventures we have never seen) was a great way to address this issue, even if the ultimate solution was “let’s try and move on”. And while it wasn’t a revelation  per se (I mean, we saw them hooking up on Troy’s birthday), I liked the reveal of Jeff and Britta hooking up. I’ve said it before, but their relationship is hyper-realistic, especially in a group dynamic. It’s logical and just a little bit immature and works well for both of them. Of course, the best part is it happening without their relationship becoming any sort of focal point for the show. Probably because of Jeff’s crush on the dean.

How I Met Your Mother: “Hopeless”

Ellen: Ironically, my most regular viewing of CBS’ Friendsy Monday night sitcom coincided with my move to the city in which it takes place, New York City. As a good student of signs and simulacra, I can’t escape the irony of this: I didn’t have a “regular” bar or a constant steady group of friends yet, and I was too broke to be out drinking every night anyway, but I could afford Wifi so I could sit at home eating cereal and hanging out with Marshall, Lily, Robin, Ted and Barney. I craved their routinized camaraderie, honed over years (as shown in flashback).

I fell right back into HIMYM on Monday night from wherever I had left its plot — No mother yet? Okay, good — and I might even pick it up again. The A-plot of Barney imploring his friends to create elaborate personalities to cover the good working kids they are to impress his dad (John Lithgow, always a valuable addition) was just kooky enough and allowed the banter to flow, while Robin’s encounter with her old crush, the Bad Shirt Guy, played to its format although it ended in disappointment. (Robin was always my favorite character, even when the show seemed to bend over backwards to indulge her ‘guy’s girl’ tendencies.) The extended verbal sparring about which hot club to hit — a “Who’s on First?” takeoff complete with Abbott and Costello callback furnished by a confused Lithgow — was a personal high point, proving what I already knew: Silly things like “plot” don’t matter when you’re among friends.

Happy Endings: “Your Couples Friends & Neighbors” and “Mein Coming Out”

Dennis: I think ABC has officially eclipsed NBC as the network comedy leader (sorry CBS, as long as you employ David Spade, William Shatner, and a whole lot of laughtracks, you’re not even a contender). Besides the already established sophomore series The Middle, Modern Family, and Cougar Town, there’s Mr. Sunshine and Happy Endings. While neither of this week’s Endings episodes were as uproariously funny as last week’s “The Quicksand Girlfriend,” this week did feature Max burning through beards in front of his confused parents, Penny flirting with a guy named Doug Hitler, and the awkward laughs associated therein. So, much as I’m looking forward to a whole bunch of pilots, I still hope there’s room for both this and Mr. Sunshine come fall.

House: “The Last Temptation”

Zoe: As my sophomore year of college paper on Joan of Arcadia can prove, I’m a fan of Amber Tamblyn. In fitting with the “change is interesting” way of watching House it was nice to see her on the show and I think she played an extremely thinly characterized character well, plus it was nice to see someone actually stick up to House, so to speak.

Alas, last week 13 returns and since the idea of two female doctors on the team would clearly be anarchy, Tamblyn has to go. Of course, she has to go in an extremely convoluted way, involving sailing records and amputation and finally giving up her morals, but at least her going does show a certain standing up to House. Frankly, as someone who is horrified by non-consensual operations/medical procedures, it sucks not to be able to root for Tamblyn at the end. Moreover, this is an issue House has gone over time and time again and it usually ends with the doctor ignoring the patients will. Terrifying, but also sort of boring. Fortunately, in a B-plot there were chickens! And also a fun joke about Tamblyn’s clothes. It was nice knowing you Amber, sorry only one lady is allowed in the club house.

30 Rock “100th Episode”

Dennis: Who would’ve thought, 100 episodes ago that we’d reach this point? I was so fearful that 30 Rock would be eclipsed by its seemingly superior dramatic sister show Studio 60. Hah! Congrats Lemon and friends! There were some pretty good chuckles (and, with Alec Baldwin and Michael Keaton, a mini-Beetlejuice reunion!) in this (arguably, a little over-stuffed) episode. It’s a true testament to a show, when I can tolerate, (and better yet enjoy) a partial clipshow and thanks to Liz, Jack, Jenna, Tracy, and (the one who holds a special place in my heart, for obvious reasons) Dennis, I tolerated the hell out of this episode. To one hundred  – nay, one MILLION more!

The Celebrity Apprentice: “Raising The Steaks”

Scott: I’ve been an infrequent viewer of The Apprentice; I watched the first three seasons, the misbegotten Martha Stewart season, then just an episode here and there. I hadn’t watched a single episode of The Celebrity Apprentice before 3 weeks ago, laughing it off as a pathetic Dancing With The Stars rip off, except with capitalism. But then I heard scattered reports of things I simply had to see. Things like Dionne Warwick mocking Marlee Matlin’s deafness, then Marlee shrugging off Warwick’s work because she’s deaf. Things like Jose Canseco sending secret messages in Morse code by blinking and starring in homophobic TV commercials. Things like Meat Loaf threatening Gary Busey’s life over sponges and creating Jackson Pollock-esque paintings by dropping paint-covered basketballs on blank canvases. How could I — how could anyone? — resist such a show? I quickly caught up, and though I can’t speak for seasons 1 and 2, season 3 of Celebrity Apprentice is the crown jewel of reality TV, a program so completely bonkers that it defies description. I mean, there’s an actual competition involved, but that’s pretty much meaningless because Star Jones (a scheming spider woman who is nonetheless eminently capable at any task that comes her way) will clearly win. One watches the Celebrity Apprentice for the journey, not the destination. And what a mindbending journey it has been, this week bringing us to the land of Omaha Steaks, a reprehensible right wing organization that nonetheless produces a fine piece of meat. Playmate of the Year Hope Dworaczyk, who spent the first 6 episodes uttering maybe three words and serving as the unhinged Dionne Warwick’s babysitter, served as team leader for the women and delivered a cooking presentation for Omaha Steaks in which they referred to the company only as “Omaha” and didn’t actually cook anything. Still, they won, mostly because Gary Busey, who is despised by his teammates because he’s mentally ill and suffered a brain injury, led the men to a presentation derailed by long stream of consciousness ramblings about flying kites on Fathers’ Day. Busey was mercifully sent home by Trump, the biggest villain in America right now, and the power trio of John Rich, Lil’ Jon and Meat Loaf are now free to wreak havoc on the women’s team, which consists of Jones, the delightful Marlee Matlin and a bunch of crybabies

90210 “The Enchanted Donkey”

Dennis: It’s a shame 90210 is on the precipice of another showrunner change (and still generally on the bubble), as it seems to have really finally found its footing. Silver and Adrianna’s Navin-fueled feud is pretty fascinating. Annie and Liam are quite cute (whodathunk?). And Teddy’s still on his big gay journey to self-discovery (which this week, meant getting rebuffed for a hook-up with Marco, actually hooking up with an old prep school roommate, awkwardly meeting said guy’s quasi-boyfriend, and then scoring a date with Marco. Not too shabby!). Here’s hoping this show gets a fourth season, and a new showrunner who can keep everything on track (and maybe bring back Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth? Please?).

Nikita: “Girl’s Best Friend”

Rawles: I’ve been ceaselessly clamoring for an episode really featuring Jaden since literally the day Nikita premiered and now, at long last, it has arrived. It’s a mixed bag. I definitely enjoyed the 400% more Jaden, and the episode did provide much-needed insight into both her past and her inner life. Her and Alex making some small peace and agreeing to work together — even if for completely different reasons, at first — was something for which I’d also been desperate since their perfunctory (and gender essentialist) rivalry was always lacking both layers and interest. Alex choosing to rescue Jaden instead of taking her chance to get out of Division and be free was basically the stuff of my dreams. Even better than that though was the moment she listened in as Jaden spoke to Kalume, and it was made clear that, at long last, Alex confronted the fact that Jaden isn’t just some bad seed who irritates her, but a person who has also experienced pain and endured. Their fighting side-by-side, saving-each-other battle scene was a great way to cap it off. It’s only in the denouement that I run into problems.

While I don’t expect Alex to be the type to start gushing her emotions everywhere, the lack of Alex/Jaden follow-up scene makes her saying that she chose to go back out of a desire to emulate Nikita and because she felt that she was doing good with the mission seem completely at odds with the rest of the episode. While it was true that Nikita would very likely have made the same choice to save Jaden, there was absolutely nothing to indicate that Alex was considering Nikita at all at that moment. Plus, the idea that she wanted to complete the mission makes no sense because blowing the lab would have done that. If she wanted to stay with Division she could even have said she got out. In the moment, as it played on screen, she clearly went back entirely out of a desire to save Jaden from death.

On top of that, while I appreciate that a twist ending is, once again, Classic Nikita, not only was there no perceivable chance for Jaden to have acquired the nerve toxin to give to Percy, but if I’m supposed to, once again, feel like Jaden’s a bad seed for this then it’s a failure. What was made clear about Jaden is that she’s a survivor and she’s fighting her life. She recognizes that Division and the people in charge of it control her fate and if she wants to live, she has to do as they ask. That’s inherently sympathetic and it’s made even more so by the fact that when she was in the lab, she deliberately asked Alex to blow it. She was explicitly willing to die there to complete the mission to destroy the toxin, despite how much she clearly values her own life. In short, the final scene is a mess of ominous music and confused authorial intent that seems to have very little to do with the rest of Jaden’s arc in the episode.

Obviously, there are also a ton of issues I’m not even ready to start trying to unpack involved in the fact that the first mission we ever see Jaden on is fighting corrupt Nigerian politicians. The episode was still okay. The subplot of Nikita and Michael essentially arguing over what their kid — Alex — was going to do with her life was generally fine and a good way to maintain conflict now that they’re on the same side, but I still feel like I’m waiting for them to do right by Jaden. It was so close, but they veered off somewhere weird at the end.