About Zoe Holmes

Zoe is a Midwesterner who lives and works and (travels often outside of) New York City. She majored in TV Watching (basically) and does newfangled marketing biz boz on the internet. She also watches, and obsessively discusses, a lot of TV and bad movies, particularly those involving crime-solving, suits, and explosions.

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71: So We’re Shippers, Sue Us

Parks & Recreation: “The Trial of Leslie Knope”

Ellen: At last, the writers and creators of “Parks & Rec” admit they wrote themselves into the wrong corner. The first episode of this season concluded with Leslie and Ben resolving to be friends and throw ash on the coals of their relationship for the good of Leslie’s career. This was a perfectly sensible choice on the part of the couple and the writers, that at the same time made no sense and seemed to punish any fan’s (ie my) emotional investment in their relationship. No way could it have ended with such a pat, sober, unfunny discussion.

Per this week’s episode, I’m a little frightened about what’s going to happen next. If Leslie will give one bribe, what’s to say she might not give another? What will Systems Man Ben Wyatt do next? And yet I wouldn’t want the court reporter to have said anything different.

Dennis: I spend a lot of time demanding that recurring characters are upped to regular players on shows (see also: every other show I write about this week), so I’ll refrain from doing it with this week’s Parks and Recreation episode. But, I think I might be in love with Ethel Beavers. From being screamed at by April to being carted around in the back of Leslie’s car, she definitely gets my Star of the Week award. Oh, and this was a pretty great episode in general. I’m happy the show has ditched the quandary set up in the last season’s cliffhanger that Leslie can’t run for office and date Ben at the same time, and is instead moving full steam ahead again with their super cute coupling. I’m not saying I want them to get Jim and Pam-style married just yet, but I’m happy the writers (and Ben and Leslie) have realized that no obstacle should keep these two silly soulmates apart any longer.

Zoë: I never thought that breaking Ben and Leslie up was a mistake, because I think it was a move that functioned both as a plot device and as a realistic character decision. That said as adorable and heart warming and wonderful as it is that they’re back together, it’ll be nice now that it’s “sorted” a bit to return to the development of the other characters. For example, Chris was as nuanced and interesting and….Chris-like as we’d seen him all season and I appreciated that. While he’s a ridiculous character, he’s also a guy who’s good at his job and generally charismatic and the focus on other characters (and the haircut) has made him more caricature lately. I hope this week we’ll have a little more workplace drama, maybe some updates on the campaign, and heck Ben and Leslie together for more than 2 scenes.

The Office: “Mrs. California”

Dennis: Admittedly, I’ve never been a regular viewer of The Office. I check in here and there, but I’m one of those obnoxious Anglophile snobs who liked the Ricky Gervais version way better. Still, even I admit the show has had some well-written episodes, especially in its middle seasons, and I felt the need to check in for the first time all season to see Maura Tierney appear (sorry Spader, my allegiances lie with the former Abby Lockhart) here as this episode’s title character. I thought Tierney a surprisingly good fit in the office, elevating just about everyone around her (except maybe Wacky Jim. When did Jim get wacky?), and I was reminded that Tierney needs a full time role on television again. Now that Tierney’s cancer is in remission (a big yay for that!), and she escaped The Whole Truth wholly unscathed, here’s hoping she gets a starring role on a show worth her acting prowess. Will that show be The Office? It seems like any appearances she might make would put her in a triangle between Spader and Ed Helms, which could be interesting, or it could be annoying. Either way, it’d get me to tune in every week, for the first time in American Office history. Who knew it was that easy?

Psych: “In for a Penny…

Zoë: Psych‘s strong sixth season has been a little less strong lately. Not bad, just back to what it was before. However, this week they tried to do some work that was desperately needed, but giving Juliet a life outside of “bossy cop” and “lady annoyed by Shawn”. The latter is especially bad since, ostensibly, they’re dating and he should care about her feelings, although hasn’t really shown this lately. Unfortunately the episode didn’t do much for the “fleshing out” part of Juliet’s character also used the third act for her to renege on all that as interesting previously. Psych isn’t a show that allows for angst very long. Even Shawn and his dad’s trouble relationship was always better than most bad TV parenting and Juliet’s bad father is no exception. I get that the show is a serial, despite it’s continuity, and that they’re not really going to do much in the way of dealing with Juliet’s poor relationship with her father. But I thought the moments where she told Shawn off for being a jerk who ignores her feelings and her dad for, well, a lifetime of the same thing was some of the best work for the character all season. To have that be pulled out at the last minute because we can’t end an episode on a down note, seems to be a bit much. I don’t know. I like Juliet as a character, but the show doesn’t really know what to do with her, especially in regards to her dating Shawn. It makes them both look like a bad couple because of this and I was hoping this episode would tweak that dynamic. Oh well. Maybe next time.

Up All Night: “Week Off”

Dennis: I’m still really liking Jason Lee on this show. Besides continuing to be a good romantic foil/grounding force for Ava, this week he had a nice little moment chatting with (and humorously, impersonating) Chris. It seems like the show is still having a hard time finding stuff to do with Will Arnett’s character (as evidenced by the weird addition of Chris playing hockey in the previous episode and in the opening credits, as if to say “See! He has hobbies!”) and I’ve liked him the best when he has a dad friend to talk show with (whether it be Lee or Will Forte earlier in the season), rather than his semi-douchey lawyer buddies (much as like Paul F. Thompkins, and in a previous episode, Bryan Callen, in other TV stuff). I’m not sure if Up All Night can afford a fourth big TV name on its call sheets full-time, but I’ll keep enjoying his stint, however long it lasts.

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70: Mashed Potatoes, Brains, Gravy

The Walking Dead: “Chupacabra”, “Secrets”

Robert: A few weeks ago, we saw what lengths a man would go to to save himself when Shane took out Otis in order to escape a horde of walkers. It seems that Shane has yet to really come to grips with that ordeal, and it’s indicative of the complete dysfunction that seems to be eating away at the rest of the group. After a harrowing incident in the woods, Daryl is taunted by visions of Merle and mistakenly shot by an overly anxious Andrea when he returns. Lori discovers that she’s pregnant but can’t bring herself to tell anyone, much less decide what to do about it. Hershel and Rick come to an understanding after some lines are crossed between the two groups. And speaking of which, Glenn’s budding relationship with Maggie takes a left turn when he finds out what’s been hiding in Hershel’s barn.

This opens the door to Hershel’s firm belief that the zombie apocalypse is merely some sort of plague that can be overcome, but Rick and his people would be wise to move on and seek a second opinion. Not to mention that they probably won’t be welcome much longer with every day that passes. Shane teaches Andrea how to light up the undead with her shooting skills and during another excursion to find Sophia—is it really possible that she could still be alive after all this time?—she finally gets in her zone and their tenuous relationship gets serious. When Rick finds Lori’s baby-killer pills, she’s forced to own up to her secret, and he insists that the only way they can keep moving forward is to get everything out in the open, leading her to reveal the bitter truth about her affair with Shane during his absence. There’s one more episode before The Walking Dead takes a break, and where we go from here is anybody’s guess, I’d say.

Top Chef: “The Heat Is On”

Dennis: It was the second and (presumably) final week of the mass cheftestant elimination exodus, and it waseven harder to watch this week. I already voiced my concerns last week about introducing all these people just to get rid of them swiftly in the course of two episodes, and it gets even more difficult to watch in this episode. With the latter half of the episode devoted to the “bubble” contestants, all but two of which were going to get the boot, I was forced to spend this episode getting invested in a lot of people that we’ll likely never see again (except maybe on the reunion or a later All-Stars season, if they qualify for that?), while the people who we’re “supposed” to care about spent most of the episode off-screen at the house. I’m still not sure what Top Chef‘s objective was with these episodes, but if it was to annoy the heck out of me, then it worked.

Life’s Too Short: “Episode 1”

Robert: This new series has been buzzing around the Ricky Gervais camp for months now since the first series of An Idiot Abroad aired, and so it stands to reason that stylistically its closest cousin is probably The Office but with a pinch of Extras for good measure. Reality and fiction are once again blurred when actor Warwick Davis introduces us to his daily life, including a visit to his estranged wife, pals Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, his shady accountant and even a hilariously unfunny Liam Neeson—all of which rattle him in various ways. Imagine Davis in the David Brent role, but instead of a middle manager seeking recognition and approval in the corporate workplace, he’s merely trying to keep his head above water in a big person’s end of the pool. Of course, having Gervais and Merchant involved makes everything—whether related to size or not— downright brutal, but when you consider how much cringe-inducing humor can spring up with casting a dwarf as the lead, the real crux of the show surprisingly revolves around how one stays relevant in the entertainment industry.

Community: “Studies in Modern Movement”

Dennis: Between a priest last week calling her “the worst” and Annie telling Britta she’s bad at making jokes, I like that running joke now that Britta is annoying and actually makes her considerably more enjoyable. She’s like the Jerry (Parks & Recreation crossover reference) of Community. And a whole episode without Chang! Sure, we still had to deal with The Dean (sorry, since it’s the weekend, Craig), but after last week’s homophobic lesson in homophobia, he was fine fine comparatively, and any excuse to incorporate Seal’s Batman Forever slow jam “Kiss from a Rose” into an episode is a-OK with me. Community Forever!

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: “How Mac Got Fat”

Zoë: At least, the Sunny episode no one wanted: Fat Mac’s origins. Honestly, for an idea I was supportive of (Fat Mac is realism, guys), it’s been terribly executed. Even though the flashback was for an episode that was scrapped from last year (and so probably not very good) it was great to see Mac with some of his old scheming enthusiasm. I was hoping Fat Mac would be that, just fat. Instead he’s been a vehicle for incredibly lazy and unfunny fat jokes. He literally sits and eats donuts in basically every episode and it’s just boring. The episodes where they have managed to avoid making “fat people love eating!” jokes have been the strongest. I’m all for Fat Mac as an idea, but he’s been such a disappointment and wasn’t redeemed at all by this thrown together episode.

Up All Night: “First Night Away”

Dennis: Wow, it’s great to see Jason Lee on this show, for a number of reasons. Certainly he seems better utilized here than he did in his weird guest stint last season on Raising Hope (which is all the more strange since Hope was from his My Name is Earl creator, and is arguably the more consistent show). And, it’s definitely nice to see the cast of characters on this show expand a little bit (beyond my favorite scapegoat Nick Cannon, of course). But most of all, Lee seems like a viable love interest for Ava, and seems like someone who can mellow her character out a little bit (and babysitting Amy helped out with that this week, too). I understand Ava has a strange lifestyle that involves getting wined and dined by characters like Julian (and it was great seeing former Starter Wife sidekick, upcoming Three Stooges stooge, and Becki Newton husband Chris Diamantopoulos), but I’m starting to think this show does better with the down-to-earth heartwarming stuff. I think Up All Night is better off trying to be a cooler, more modern Modern Family than aiming for a baby-fied 30 Rock.

Homeland: “Achilles Heel”

Robert: This is turning into a really smart, well-paced show that doesn’t go overboard with action, but this week, we finally got to see things get ratcheted up a notch. Saul tries to hang on to the last shred of his marriage while juggling the sudden interest in Brody as an upcoming Congressional replacement (the incumbent facing an Anthony Weiner-esque scandal was a nice touch). And now that they know the truth about Brody and his non-involvement with any terrorist goings-on, the CIA sets out to snare the still-alive Walker using his wife and son as bait. It’s seems slow-going at first, but when they finally track him down, the FBI follows him into a building and proceeds to shoot on sight, only to discover that they’re in a mosque. Once word of that spreads, Estes and the CIA know that they’ll have to change tactics, and more importantly, Walker now has his marching orders that lead him to an empty storage locker with a sniper rifle inside. Given that Aileen gave up the house by the airport, it’s not clear if Walker’s still going for the same target, but he’s clearly given up trying to return to the life he once knew. And as a final surprise, Brody pays a visit to Abu Nazir’s people to tell them that he’s done. It’s interesting that every character in this episode turns a corner in their lives because of their own emotional weaknesses—Saul with his wife, Carrie with her own recklessness, Brody with his family, and Walker with his yearning to go home—and none of them seem to be able to continue on as they were before. Pretty deep for a show about spies and terrorism, I’d say.

Beavis and Butt-Head: “Holy Cornholio”/”Drones”

Dennis: This week’s Beavis and Butt-Head was a fun parade of favorite characters. The pals’ wannabe friend Stuart made his first appearance this season, as did Beavis’ alter-ego Cornholio, and there was even a mention to their friend Daria (who famously left town for her own titular — heh heh, titular — spin-off). I have to say, I find that I often like the dudes’ commentary on music videos (this week from T-Baby, Cage the Elephant, and MGMT again, among others) way more than the supposedly more relevant (and certainly more synergistic) clips of Teen Mom and Jersey Shore. There are already shows like The Soup to make fun of reality TV, but few do music video-watching like these guys.

Parks and Recreation: “Smallest Park”

Zoë: I said before that I wouldn’t be surprised if Parks was the sort of show to keep Leslie and Ben broken up for good and I meant it. Of course, I’m pretty happy that I was wrong and I’m excited to see how this all goes down. But more, I think this solidifies how good the show has been at break ups and heartbreak. I saw a comment saying they wished the “Leslie is a dick about Ben’s feelings” episodes hadn’t all come in a role, and I can get behind that, but I love what each accomplished. First, you had Leslie realizing they had no romance anymore. Second, you had her realizing that they couldn’t even be friends right then. Lastly, you had her losing work friendliness–the only thing she had left. Sure, she acted like a dick and was a but over the top, but I think we wouldn’t have gotten that last scene in the park is Leslie hadn’t had all those rugs pulled out week after week. Sometimes it takes a while to realize what you’re actually losing and sometimes that’s needed to realize what matters. And kudos to the show for being able to tell such emotionally rich material while still having some very funny plots with Andy and Tom to lighten everything up. And hey, Ann had a purpose! More of that, please.

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69: Avoiding the Obvious Joke

Parks and Recreation: “End of the World”

Zoë: If it’s hard for shows to get characters together, it’s even harder for them to have characters break up–especially when both actors will be remaining on the show. Instead they tend to cycle coupled through a get together break up and reconciliation pattern. Heck, even shows like HIMYM, which told us in the first episode who would break up, end up doing this.

So it’s to it’s credit that Parks and Rec has done multiple break ups very well and thus far avoided any sort of pointless getting back together. And while some of these break ups were done for cast reasons, for the most part people have broken up and stayed on the same show, fumbling through the post break up awkwardness like we all do. Unfortunately for people like me, this means that this is one of the few shows on TV where the couple you really want to see together remains broken up and fumbling through it. This weeks episode featured a lot of fumbling: whether the kind that means celebrating hour business loss with the best party ever, or failing to predict the end of the world (again), or seeing your ex flirt with someone else. And while the plots were all funny, the shows kindness and heart shown through. At the end of the day, this may be the kind of show that keeps Leslie and Ben broken up, but it seems that like some exes, they might at least find a way to be friends.

Dennis: I think I’ve come to the decision that after Breakfast Club-inspired episodes (which Dawson’s Creek, ER, Greek, and a bunch of others have done in the past), my second favorite “type” of episode is the “End of the World” one, which Mad Men, Greek (again… it’s way hip like that), and Parks and Recreation have now busted out. It’s great. Everyone always acts all zany when the world’s going to end on TV shows, even though they usually know it’s not really going to end. Here, Tom and Jean-Ralphio throw a crazy party, and April and Andy start doing things on his bucket end, which ends in a Mount Rushmore-free trip to the Grand Canyon, and we’re treated to more poignant Ben and Leslie scenes (and more cute mentor/mentee scenes between Leslie and Ron). It may not have been (beware, the REM-inspired pun!) the end of the world in Pawnee, but after this really good episode, I still feel fine.

Community: “Advanced Gay”

Dennis: It seems the portrayal of gay characters in this episode got creator Dan Harmon in some hot water, and I can certainly understand the argument. From this episode, it appears every gay male at Greendale is flamboyantly gay (though the show seems aware that’s not actually the case in the world, since a character played by the decidedly non-flamboyant Paul F. Tompkins hit on an ambiguous Abed last season). I suppose the characterization (and generalization) here was supposed to all be a means for Pierce to confront his own (and his father’s) phobias on the matter, and in that regard it was successful (even if we’ve written in the past that Pierce’s character can change on the drop of a dime). I much more enjoyed the return of John Goodman, as the show’s shady Vice Dean. It’s just nice to see theRoseanne star doing comedy again, after swinging towards drama (West Wing, Studio 60, Treme) as of late. So in the future, more Goodman please, less gay stereotypes (unless they involve RuPaul’s Drag Race‘s Shangela. As Chang can apparently attest, she’s always a good time).

Zoë: I am a terrible word pronouncer. I say pasta with a short a, ketchup wrong, and have been mocked for how I said Yahoo! once. If a word can be said multiple ways, I nearly always say it the wrong way. Unfortunately this means that the more Britta becomes “the worst”, the more I am forced to identify with her. Fortunately, this episode was a rare moment for her to be right (despite her mispronunciations). And while Jeff literally killing Pierce’s dad seemed a little extreme, it’s a Jeff/Pierce are the same connection that I could get behind. I was less able to get behind the catty gay characters who, while serving their purpose as some sort of gay greek chorus, definitely felt like a bit much, but fortunately they were a minor presence and their massively gay party created the perfect backdrop for Abed/Troy pretending to be each other. In any case, I am going to work on saying the word oedipal, just in case.

Enlightened: “The Weekend”

Dennis: I didn’t realize that all of the episodes of this show thus far were supposed to have taken place in the same week. For someone who just came out of a mental facility, Amy sure has had a productive week! I’m glad it’s finally the weekend (hence the episode title) because it gave Enlightened a chance to stray from the workplace antics its been immersed in in recent weeks (or “days” in the eyes of the show), and it gave us a chance to see more of Luke Wilson’s Levi. Previously, it seemed like Levi was going to be this unlikable character, but this episode was able to pull back and reveal him to be a lot more sympathetic. Sure, he’s still a druggie screw-up, but he knows it. It’s just nice to see Luke Wilson get good work here, so he doesn’t have to resort to AT&T ads anymore.

Downton Abbey: “Episode 8″

Zoë: The second season of Downton Abbey ended this week in England and it’s been driving me crazy that I have such a limited number of friends to talk to about it. In fact, I’ve become something of a Downton Abbey pusher the last month in order to increase the number of people who can be shocked by what’s going on each week. Part of that pushing has had me rewatching bits and pieces of the first season, which has allowed me to appreciate just how much better the second series is. Nothing was wrong with the first, obviously, but the war has been an incredible backdrop for character growth, development, and drama. I sell friends on the show by talking about how it’s a fancy soap opera–and it is–but it’s also truly quality television and I think that shines through even more this past season. It’s been hard not to spoil everything for friends and family waiting until January, but the fact is no one would believe the spoilers anyway: that’s how crazy the season is. People said watching now would ruin January, but for me it just makes me more excited to talk about all the things that have been happening in Fake Yorkshire.

Top Chef: “Everything’s Bigger in Texas”

Dennis: Get it!? The episode is called “Everything’s Bigger in Texas” because it’s set in Texas, and they have the most contestants (29) ever! Ah, wit! But, what was the point of introducing almost thirty cheftestants, if they’re just going to pick them off quickly over this and next week’s episode. We already said goodbye to a cocky guy with weird eyebrows (or lack of eyebrows) who butchered poorly, a vegan chef (can’t a vegan/vegetarian chef ever make it to the second episode?), some guy with a lot of tattoos (or, at least more tattoos then all the other inked up folk on this season) and some other girl for some other reason. See, I can’t even bother to remember these people’s names right now (and in one case, anything vital about her) because they’re being cut so furiously. If the mission is to get the cast down to a normal number by episode three, why not just start with episode three? My Lone Star State-based Sodapop brethren might get mad, but with the weird nature of this episode, they should maybe retitle this episode ‘Nothing Makes Sense in Texas.” I figure eventually, things will right themselves, but this season of Top Chef, has definitely started off the season on the wrong foot.

Glee: “Pot O’ Gold”

Dennis: Well, per the new deal that I made with myself about this show I’m allowed to check this week in since one of The Glee Projectwinners showed up. I enjoyed seeing Damian McGinty mix it up with the cast, but otherwise this episode was pretty predictable. I’ve had a feeling since Shelby showed back up this season with Quinn and Puck’s baby in toe, that a Shelby/Puck pairing might be in the cards (Puck’s portrayer is twenty-nine in real life, so he looks more compatible with an adult then a high schooler at this point any way), and what, with all this sudden talk of Puck’s love of cougars (ugh, that word’s still around) it was easy to guess it was going to happen in this episode fairly early on. Also, did anyone have any doubt that Brittany’s fake leprechaun would find his way into the glee club by episode’s end? I just wish Finn, who was accosted for calling Brittany an idiot, had mentioned to Brittany that Santana treats Brittany like she’s an idiot behind her back too, since he overherad Santana’s conversation earlier in the episode. But, I learned a long time ago that expecting characters on Glee to act rationally is a losing battle.

Revenge: “Charade”

Dennis: While Community might’ve been a little less gay-friendly this week, Revenge picked up the slack, actually allowing its homoerotic con man character Tyler to go full gay, and with Nolan (who’s apparently “a 3 on the Kinsey scale”), no less! Who knew? I like how we’re starting to see more of where the non-Amanda characters’ loyalties lie. Besides Tyler and Nolan, we’ve now discovered Ashley’s a little less altruistic, a little more money-hungry (and all the more interesting because of it). And, Declan was more than happy to grow a pair and berate Amanda/fauxEmily at the Graysons’ dinner table about her playing with her brother’s heartstrings. It was also great to meet the violent stripper also known as the real Emily Thorne (slash Fake Amanda Clarke, wow I love how confusing this show is). Was it me or did Amanda/faux Emily and Emily/faux Amanda seem to have some sapphic tension there? I guess it could’ve just been residual cues from the Tyler/Nolan tryst, but overall, you go on with your sexuality-fluctuating selves, Revenge!

American Horror Story: “Halloween: Part 2″

Dennis: When is someone in the Harmon family finally going to get a clue? I just wish one of the three of them would notice that almost all (seriously, almost all: Moira, Hayden, Tate, Chad, Patrick, Nora, Rubber Man, those useless twins, the school shooting kids, maybe Larry) the people around them are ghosts. Also, why is Constance asking Violet not to tell Tate that Addy died? Won’t Addy just show up as a ghost like everyone else? And why do I keep trying to make sense of Ryan Murphy shows?

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68: Not My Fairytale

Once Upon a Time: “The Thing You Love Most”

Dennis: I liked last week’s pilot more than I thought I would (which is to say, I liked it at all), and this second episode was certainly watchable, but is it wrong that I kind of want the writers to tone down the actual, you know, fairy tale stuff? As it turns out, I like the idea of everyone being oblivious to the fact that they’re fairy tale characters a lot more than I thought I would, but sometimes I feel like the actually fairy tale flashbacks, to when the characters were who they were, are often a little too campy and overdone. Much as I enjoyed seeing True Blood‘s Kristin Bauer as Maleficent and Breaking Bad‘s Giancarlo Esposito as the Magic Mirror, I like watching the mayor turning into the evil queen in present day more. Do I really need all the exposition about just how evil she used to be? I’d rather have more real world passive-aggressive face-offs between Emma and Regina (the best of which, was mostly just aggression, as Emma took a saw to Regina’s beloved apple tree). If lead-out Desperate Housewives is going off the air at the end of this season, I think somewhere here amongst all the muddled mythology is its heir apparent. Granted, Revenge and the midseason dramedy formerly known as Good Christian Bitches will probably want to duke it out for that title too, but despite its writing pedigree, I still say (and I mean this as a compliment) Once still has a better shot of being the next Housewives than being the next Lost.

House: “Charity Case”

Zoë: House has been back on the air for weeks and I’ve hardly had the energy to complain about it. Frankly, judging by the show, hardly anyone on the cast has energy these days. If Psych is my new test case for why shows can stick around after 5 seasons, House is why they should definitively stay off the air. I always felt the show was a little overhyped as fresh and original–it is, to some extent, but only in the context of network TV–but it’s definitely lost whatever creativity it once had, instead grinding the characters (and seemingly the actors) down over the subsequent 8 seasons. Hugh Laurie is now more famous than he’d ever have been as “Stephen Fry’s comedy partner”, but the toll appears to have been a heavy one. If actors really enjoying themselves is enough to elevate a mediocre show to slightly less mediocre, than House is the opposite of that. Everyone looks miserable these days and as “fun” as it is to have the 18th plotline about House being suspicious of altruism, maybe it’s time to explore euthanasia.

Enlightened: “Someone Else’s Life”

Dennis: I’m still most interested in the relationship between Amy and her former assistant-turned-company success story Krista. As Amy is aware, Krista doesn’t necessarily want to cut Amy out of her life, but she has certain allegiances to Damon that definitely complicate things. I like that Krista finally reached out to Amy, but Amy held her plans to lunch with Tyler instead. I thought it funny that for the second consecutive week, the episode ended with the the two most sympathetic characters being those portrayed by the show’s creators, Laura Dern and Mike White. I guess they really are the most enlightened?

Psych: “This Episode Sucks”

Zoë: As strong as my praise has been for Psych this season, it’s only fair to give it a slap on the wrists too. It’s not that the inherent vampireness of the plot bothered me (I watch True Blood, after all) or even all the Lassiter making out. Rather, it’s that while Shawn and Gus are, by definition, somewhat immature men the show goes much better when they’re not going out of their way to point that out to the viewer. In fact, I thing one of the best parts of the show has been the way they’ve matured Shawn (and lightened up Gus) over the years without making it a big deal. However, as much as the show acts as if Shawn and Juliet aren’t dating (a strategy I’m fine with), the fact is they are and what was once fun immaturity with your friend that annoyed a coworker, no one wants to annoy their girlfriend that much. As manchild-ish as Shawn can be, he’s always had a good bead on people and it’s a shame to see that sacrificed for the sake of some shape-shifted jokes.

Grimm: “Pilot”

Dennis: Oh, I wanted to like this show. I root for Dave Giuntoli, who’s certainly the most successful (read: only) former cast member of MTV’s Road Rules to ever make it as an actor (sister show The Real World seems to be better at churning out actors, congressmen, WWE wrestlers, etc), and he has done some solid work on Eli Stone, Privileged, and Hot in Cleveland in the past, but the wooden writing is doing him no favors here. On paper I liked the premise of this show (man hunts fairy tale creatures in the real world), better than I did its rival fairy tale show, ABC’s Once Upon a Time (woman and an entire town in Maine are secretly fairy tale characters but don’t know it yet), but Grimm’s kind of a mess on screen. Maybe it’s Kate Burton, better playing uptight characters on Grey’s Anatomy and The Good Wife, but weirdly miscast here as a cancer-afflicted bald badass aunt. Or, the fact that most of the other characters aren’t even mildly interesting (I certainly don’t care about Nick’s cop coworkers, the bland baddies out to get him, or his girlfriend that he is apparently endagering simply by dating her). Silas Weir Mitchell seems like the biggest character asset, as Nick’s newfound wolf pal, but here’s hoping with the decent ratings this show garnered in its first outing, NBC springs for some name actors and writers to make this something actually worth watching.

Community: “Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps”

Zoë: Some necessary episode order switching put this episode directly next to the other episode of the season that uses multiple narrative devices, and since that’s one of the best episodes the show has ever done, this one understandably seems a little worse by comparison. Which isn’t to say it’s bad–the horror story telling were all very funny (Abed’s being my favorite, I think). It’s the framing of the episode, with Britta’s ridiculous idea that someone in the group is a crazy killer, where the episode fails. Not only is that an idea so dumb it should be easily dismissed, but that Jeff–who hates dealing with that sort of stuff–wouldn’t mention he had done the test wrong right away is a bit unbelievable. I’m glad we got to see the versions of horror stories that everyone came up with, I just wish we could have done without the why.

American Horror Story: “Halloween: Part 1″

Dennis: It may be Halloween, but with its Down syndrome and squabbling gay subplots, it’s Ryan Murphy business as usual on American Horror Story. I feel bad for Jessica Lange and Jamie Brewer trapped in their horrible storyline, as Addy’s not-offensive-at-all (sarcasm strongly implied) wish to be a “pretty girl” seemingly contributes to her demise. Meanwhile, we’re finally introduced to the gay couple mentioned in the show’s pilot, as played by Zachary Quinto and Teddy Sears. I couldn’t help but wonder why Ryan Murphy didn’t make this gay couple the main characters on his show. Chad and Patrick were more interesting in the first five minutes of this episode than the Harmons have been in four episodes. It’s been proven with the Kurt/Blaine episodes of Glee and any story with Liz or a GLBT character onNip/Tuck, Murphy at least knows how to write gay characters compellingly. Since Connie Britton and Dylan McDermott are reportedly only contractually obligated to one season of this, is it too much to ask for a prequel season with Patrick and Chad in the house, circa 2010? Isn’t America ready for a Big Gay American Horror Story? It’d at least be more interesting than most of what’s going on in this season.

Parks and Recreation: “Meet ‘n’ Greet”

Zoë: I’ve mentioned this in oh, every review of the show I’ve done this season, but I was a big Ben and Leslie fan and frankly nervous to see what they were going to do with Ben once they broke up. For understandable reasons, it’s probably hit him a lot worse and so the show has decided to have him be tortured by every character he comes into contact with. I found his anger repression to be a bit out of character–he’s been incredible direct in the past when the situation calls for it–but if that’s what it takes to get Andy dragging him around the party in a headlock, I’ll take it. It’s interesting to contrast Ben (who mostly revolved around Leslie) and the way other characters are embracing him to make him a part of larger storylines and Anne (who mostly revolves around Leslie) and the awkwardness with which she can’t be incorporated into the larger picture. She obviously can’t be friends with Andy or Chris or help Tom with accounting, but it’d be nice for her character to have more to do than “help with episode C plot”. At the very least she could start hanging out with Ben and form a Sadsack Without Leslie Club.

Revenge: “Intrigue”

Dennis: Well, despite what I thought last week, it appears Lydia’s five floor fall onto a taxi cab didn’t kill her so much as put her in a coma (well, sure), and it seems to have set in motion a good direction for the show to go. Emily and Nolan’s impromptu attempt to get security guy Frank (who pushed Lydia last week) out of the picture only alerted him further to their malicious plans. And, I also like that Daniel’sTalented Mr. Ripley-esque pal Tyler continues to be an unforseen complication in Emily/Amanda’s plan. The writers are doing a good job moving almost everything along. Now if only they could explain to me why I should be caring about Declan and Charlotte’s glacially slow courtship, that would be great.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: “Chardee MacDennis: The Game of Games”

Zoë: Just last week I was telling a friend that Dee and Charlie might be my favorite Sunny pairing up, but this week reminds me of what a strong contendor Dee and Dennis are. Dennis is obviously the most sociopathic of the Gang, but when you put Dee with him you remember that these are two characters raised in the same house, with the same horrible values. I mean, sure, Dennis is a rapist–but Dee also berates and shames men into having sex with her. It’s not that Dee isn’t a sociopath for any reason other than Dee must always bee a failure. Except, of course, in the titular game a drinking/board game the gang devised that seems to have been created entirely to have Dee and Dennis win all the time (and the teams can never changed) and they still cheat at it. Of course, they’re also willing to be emotionally berated for 2 hours and have darts thrown into their hand without flinching, so victory is somewhat deserved to. Regardless, this episode is not only a great reminder of the power of the Reynolds Twins, but also how much Sunny can do when the leads just get together and yell at each other.

Beavis and Butt-head: “Werewolves of Highland/Crying”

Dennis: Ah, everyone’s favorite 90s animated duo (my apologies to Ren & Stimpy, way existential as they may be) are back, and not a moment too soon! As anyone with the ability to speak or type can attest, MTV doesn’t play videos much anymore, but its line-up of trashy reality shows like Jersey Shore and Teen Mom need just as much lampooning by Mike Judge’s version of Siskel and Ebert. Naturally, Shore gets shout outs in this episode, as does Twilight and The Bachelor, and to a lesser extent Harry Potter and 16 and Pregnant but my favorite part of the episode ? When Beavis and Butt-head actually do watch a music video, the creepy creature-infested one for MGMT’s “Kids,” prompting Beavis to ask “Is this Florida?”. Not quite, but after deprived of these guys (and any Mike Judge-animated shows, since King of the Hill went off the air a few years back) for so long, this sure is heaven.

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67: At Least There Was No Umbilical Cord

Up All Night: “Birth”

Dennis: I kind of thought Up All Night would save its episode until later in the run (when you have to use Nick Cannon to show us how Ava’s show was different in flashback, this is very, very bad), but I’m happy they broke it now, if only to remind us that Chris doesn’t completely hate Ava all the time. It’s probably a good thing that Chris doesn’t hate Ava, since there are only four people (I’m going to keep right on ignoring Nick Cannon) on this show. I thought this a rather touching episode, I’m just hoping at some point we expand this ensemble a little bit. As The Big Bang Theory learned before its own expansion, it’s rather hard to keep making episodic comedy when there’s only three people in your show’s universe. Why not have Chris go back to work soon? That seemed kind of interesting. Is there any way we can weave Sam Page’s doctor into the show full-time? After recurring roles on Mad Men, Greek, Gossip Girl, and Desperate Housewives, the guy really just needs a regular role already.

Zøë: So, for some reason, there was a birth episode for Up All Night. I’m not saying it was bad–it was a little cliched, but overall sweet–it just seems strange to plop us in the middle of it without any explanation whatsoever. I do like how it expanded the universe a little and I’ll always laugh at jokes about reading the whole names of URLs, but it’s the sort of episode where everyone behaved as expected. It expanded the story of the characters, but it harder added depth to them. Chris was a big softie! Reagan was type A! Ava was self-centered! I could have told you that’s how those characters would react by week two of the show. I don’t mean to be a hater, since I enjoy Up All Night, but so far it’s run has really lacked ooomph and I keep waiting for the show to kick it into high gear and have some energy behind it. Maybe next week

Homeland

Robert: When Marine Sergeant Nicholas Brody is rescued after being held in Afghanistan for eight years, CIA analyst Carrie Mathison (Claire Danes) suspects her hard-earned intel about a U.S. soldier being “turned” might be referring to him, and upon his return home, she pulls some (perhaps illegal) strings to watch him 24/7 with surveillance cameras, hidden microphones, wiretaps and tracking teams. For Brody, although his family hadn’t given up hope on him, they’d clearly gotten used to life without him. His wife Jessica has to shelve her romantic involvement with one of his Marine buddies, his teenage daughter is into drugs and his son doesn’t even know him. The readjustment is tough going at first. His loss of intimacy wears on Jess and he struggles to relate to his kids, all while reporters and cameras tug at their new national hero. Carrie, on the other hand, has her own psychological baggage to deal with, and struggles at every turn to protect her assets in the field and skirt by her past grievances with higher-ups. When she focuses on Brody, however, things are golden, and because neither she nor the audience really know what he might be up to, the show becomes most engaging when we just watch and try to fit the pieces together.

Homeland has its sights set on being a weighty thriller about terrorism, the effects of war and the tangled bureaucracy that somehow maintains our national security, and even though it takes its time getting there, the first few episodes have been building into something interesting.
Hats off to leads Lewis and Danes who pull from different ends of the spectrum but both complement the tone of the show. Lewis is absolutely magnetic to watch as the tormented and quietly brewing Brody, and Danes lets Carrie takes charge in key moments even as her erratic streak rubs those around her the wrong way. Nods to a bearded Mandy Patinkin as her gruff and sometimes reluctant mentor and to Morena Baccarin as Brody’s conflicted wife trying to keep her household from falling apart. Something else that struck me in the first few episodes thus far: the cameos. Not necessarily big stars, mind you, but recognizable faces that will surely return in future episodes. Maybe it’s not a big deal, but it tells me that show-runners Howard Gordon and Alex Gansa are perhaps exercising some pull—and doing so with admirable restraint. The fact that they both worked on 24 also tells me they’re covering all the bases with the subject matter, and so far, Homeland has been a satisfying, far more grounded alternative.

The Good Wife: “Marthas and Caitlins”

Dennis: Well, Celeste was back, but at least she was a bit easier to take in this episode. Maybe because Celeste and Alicia were seemingly on the same side (maybe befriending Alicia is all it takes to be more sympathetic on this show?), and Alicia really needs a drinking buddy, since she and Kalinda had the falling out. I’d say that Grace picked up the slack from Celeste in the how to be annoying department, though I’m starting to feel like Alicia’s kids, especially Grace (who definitely gets more air time and ridiculous subplots at this point versus Zach) are getting shoehorned into episodes where they don’t make sense. Where is Grace’s tudor storyline going? Is it going the same place as the “Grace found religion” story? (Which is to say, nowhere). Instead, give me more office politics, like Alicia discovering, after being forced to hire Caitlin over Martha (hence the episode title) that Will pulled strings to get her her job over a more qualified candidate. I’d also say give me more of Dylan Baker’s Colin Sweeney, the Hannibal Lecter to Alicia’s Clarice Starling, but I think his creepy character works best in smaller recurring doses. I’m just happy he didn’t get shanked in the prison yard! When I can’t even bear to see a calculated killer on this show get killed, that’s when I’m reminded how well The Good Wife does characters.

Psych: “Last Night Gus”

Zoë: I have a long standing rant that the majority of TV shows (we’re talking 98% here) should be forced off the air by 5th season. Even on the best of shows, things really improve after 5th season and the decline usually kills enjoyment from even die-hard fans. By forcing everything off the air then, you force shows to have closure and that’s not a bad thing. The 6th season of Psych is making me reconsider this idea as it would have been a prime candidate in my mind and yet, the first two episodes of this season have been some of it’s best. There are little tweaks–such as limited flashbacks, more plot arcs, and less CLUE!!! stuff–that I have long said would dramatically improve the show even if you changed nothing else. Psych will never be the best show on television, but it’s really heartening to see a show that could easily (easily) give up and phone it in actively improving itself this late in the game.

American Horror Story: “Murder House”

Dennis: Does every episode of this show have to start with a woman getting raped now? This is week two of that, and hopefully we won’t go three weeks in a row next week. Is this the only thing Ryan Murphy could think of when he thought of “scary”? So, Moira is trapped as a ghost in the house because she had the misfortune of being raped and then shot in the head by Constance? And, they’ve gone decades without conversing about the fact that Moira was an innocent in Constance’s husband’s “affair”? And when is this family going to realize that everyone (Moira, Tate, Nora, and I’m still suspicious about Larry, who only Ben ever seems to see) around them is a ghost? And when is the show going to stop insulting our intelligence by “revealing” that these people are ghosts? Yeah, we get it. To sum up: My advice for American Horror Story this week? No more surprise ghosts, no more sexual assaults. Hopefully, Zachary Quinto avoids both fates next week.

Person of Interest: “Cura Te Ipsum”, “Judgment”

Robert: I really want to like this show. Honestly, I do. It’s almost the show I was hoping for (and think it could still be), but it still leans a bit too much into procedural territory for its own good.

Exhibit A: Detective Carter. At this rate, she will never, ever, ever find out who Reese is (much less actually catch him), especially now with Detective Fusco hanging around. Even before that, she was never functionally more than a Wile E. Coyote to Reese’s Roadrunner. He can walk the streets in broad daylight even though the NYPD is hot to catch him. Odd, that.

Exhibit B: Pulling punches. In “Cura Te Ipsum”, Reese and Finch try to stop a doctor (Linda Cardellini) intent on disposing of the rapist who attacked her sister. With so much emotionally heavy subject matter, the usual banter (slight as it may be) is dialed way back. Reese gets the doctor to back down from her vengeful plans, but he might have some of his own. Just when it looks like Reese is having a great character-defining moment as he goes head-to-head with the aforementioned rapist, the screen cuts to black.

Exhibit C: Guest stars that steal the show. In “Judgment”, Finch’s machine pinpoints a judge (David Costabile) who may be in danger, but when the judge’s son is kidnapped by a gang in return for a verdict in their favor, Reese has to change tactics. With Detective Carter still on his trail, Reese decides to identify himself to the judge as a last measure to stall the case. Unfortunately, what really sells this episode is the judge himself, and if that name looks familiar, maybe that’s because he recently played the vegan chemist who met a tragic end Gale Boetticher in Breaking Bad.

This would all be fine and dandy if we’re talking CSI or Law & Order, but Person of Interest has all the makings of better shows. There’s the slightest hint of a mythology behind the Machine, and some great backstory fodder with Finch and Reese, and Carter should definitely be more of a driving force behind how they operate. As it is now, Person of Interest is trying to have its cake and eat it too, and I suppose for most viewers, it kinda-sorta works. I just don’t know how much longer I can continue to invest in it.

Enlightened: “Now or Never”

Dennis: I’m still digging this series. I like that Amy’s return to work wasn’t as easy as it looked at the end of last week’s episode. Instead of getting her old job back or snaring her dream job like she might have in a crappier show, Amy’s been relegated to the forgotten floor with a new band of data entry misfits (including one played by co-creator Mike White) to interact with. It’s good that the show is making it a hard, but not impossible fight for Amy to pull herself back up. She has to inspire these new people around her, as well Krista, Levi, and her mother, which is going to be an interesting thing to watch. I’m hoping viewers and this show hang around long enough to see it happen.

The Walking Dead: “What Lies Ahead”

Robert: If there was any show last season that disappointed more than I expected it to, it wasThe Walking Dead. Fortunately, this second season benefits from having established all of the characters, and we pick right up where we left off as the survivors leave the CDC in Atlanta and head towards Fort Benning. Writing and/or performances aside, maybe the one quality that still stands above all else is the unpredictability of the world that’s been created. Something as simple as a crowded highway becomes a potential graveyard for the caravan when they have to stop, and when a “herd” of undead move their way, the survivors take the only refuge they can find—hiding underneath the vehicles littering the road. It’s a suspenseful “every man for himself” sequence as it is, but when we see that the two children, Carl and Sophia, are on their own, it becomes all the more terrifying. From this point on, it’s the children that end up pushing most of the narrative forward. Sophia runs from the highway into the woods with two walkers behind her. The camp conduct a search for her and happen upon a small church where a few of the undead have congregated (to worship His Holy Undeadness?). The church serves as a crossroads of sorts for Shane and Andrea, who are anxious to go their own way, and for Rick and Carol, who look for some mercy for where they’ve gone wrong. When Shane and Rick (and his tag-along son Carl) continue the search, they spot a buck in the woods. In this world of death, it’s a rare moment of unscathed life that they can’t deny, but it’s interrupted when a shot rings out and Carl and the deer go down. This will undoubtedly throw Rick into a tailspin and have big repercussions for the survivors as a whole. The idea that any character, even a child, is fair game is unsettling but so intriguing, and if anything, I’m at least glad that The Walking Dead is willing to challenge us by going to those dark places.

Revenge: “Guilt”

Dennis: I kind of wish the show had kept Lydia around. I like the idea that in Amanda/Emily’s plot to get revenge on Victoria, that there would people who would be collateral damage who would want revenge on both women. And Lydia, having being scorned in the series’ pilot seemed like a prime candidate for that, but just as she was starting to get involved in the battle of the show’s lead ladies, she met her demise. Still, I enjoyed that this episode finally moved away from “Emily’s random revenge victim of the week” formula, which was becoming a little too predictable. If we’re going to see the “future events” of the pilot by the thirteenth episode, I say it’s just about time for Emily to give up on the rich person of the week, and go straight for those dastardly Graysons.

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66: Evil Remote Uncontrolled

Community: “Remedial Chaos Theory”

Paul: I don’t know if this is my favorite Community episode of all time, but it might be. It had all the hallmarks of Community greatness: Sneakily sophisticated structure, playful genre riffing, Troy and Abed front-and-center, and acknowledgement of the fundamental creepiness that is Jeff and Annie kissing. Seriously, you guys, stop it.

Dennis: I complain periodically about how perhaps Community is getting too much critical attention, but then there’s episodes like this that remind me exactly why it gets this support in the first place. I’m happy to see the show’s meta look at “the bottle episode” last season hasn’t stopped it from doing more of them, as they’re generally the strongest ones. I like it when it’s just the study group, in a room together, for a half hour, and this episode was a great example of that, while also playing around with the standard comedy genre conventions. My favorite of all the parallel storylines was of course the darkest, as all the tiny things from previous parallels (Abed’s boulder, Annie’s gun, Britta’s weed, Pierce’s troll) all hilariously culminated in getting Pierce shot and further convincing Troy the troll doll was after him. It’s episodes like this one that make it all the more ridiculous that the tidal wave of critical support of this show has yet to translate to any Emmy love whatsoever. Surely there’s some parallel universe where this injustice has been righted.

Zoë: I feel like we at RU have been reviewing Community less this year in fear of over-hyping the show. Additionally, the first few episodes of the season have been in the “good, but not great” territory, which doesn’t give one a lot to say. Fortunately they knocked it out of the park with “Remedial Chaos Theory” a really enjoyable episode that just worked. I love the way it broke down the group dynamics (worst case scenario: no Troy) and played with existing plot threads without them being “real” (but not in a dream sense). That said, I really liked how the Real Plotline showed Jeff’s villainy better than any episode this season. He’s no malicious and crazy, the way Pierce was and he acted in the season opener, just a little too cool for school to have fun with. He creates inhibitions in people around him, thus squelching their ability to enjoy something. Plus he’s a bit of an ass. None of this makes him a villain, just a guy sometimes you tolerate more than like. And what group hasn’t had that guy?

Parks and Recreation: “Pawnee Rangers”

Dennis: I’m enjoying how well the show is utilizing all of its players this season, and this episode was a good example of that. I enjoy Leslie and Ron’s close relationship, even in the face of sometimes different world views, and I like that the show keeps throwing Ben and Tom together, especially if it means seeing Ben in a Batman suit. And the show even gave good amounts of story time to both Donna and Jerry (we finally saw one of his family members!) this week. Keep it up, show.

Zoë: As depressed as Leslie and Ben’s break-up made me, I’m glad the show is using it as a chance to develop his character further. Sure, “exasperated, slightly uptight nerd” isn’t exactly adeep characterization (yet), but it’s better than “guy who really likes Leslie”. And it’s good for for uptight people to unwind every now and then especially if it means Batman suits.

Enlightened: “Pilot”

Dennis: I wish a few more people had watched this show in its strange (for HBO at least) Monday night time slot. I know not everyone will like Enlightened but I wish a few more people had checked this first episode out. I’ve always been a fan of Mike White, whether it be as writer of the underrated The Good Girl or writer-director of the also underrated Year of the Dog or as a contestant on the sufficiently rated The Amazing Race. I understand that Laura Dern’s character is constantly in danger of falling into unlikeable territory, but so far she and White have done a good job making her character sympathetic. I like the message that Amy is trying to be a better, and yes, more enlightened person, but that the sometimes aggravating people in the rest of the world sometimes make that a hard objective to hold.

Terra Nova: “What Remains”

Paul: I knew going in that Terra Nova was going to be disappointing, but I must admit the precise trajectory of that disappointment is pretty tiresome. I’d anticipated something bloodier and somehow more overtly ridiculous, but if “What Remains” is any indicator, what we’re actually going to get is watery, Star Trek-style genre-crisis-of-the-day plots. The “tension” between the husband/cop guy and the sleazy scientist guy (no, I can’t be bothered to remember their names) about the scientist’s brief, decades-earlier romantic involvement with the doctor/wife lady led into an eye-rolling contrivance where she caught a disease that makes you forget whole years of her life, such that she only remembered being sleazy scientist guy’s girlfriend, and not husband/cop guy’s wife! The weird treatment of the doctor/wife lady as narrative prize aside, the whole thing was incredibly doofy and contrived, and ugh. I know you’re probably hell-bent on being terrible, Terra Nova, but can’t you at least be fun terrible, and not stupid terrible? No? Oh well.

American Horror Story: “Home Invasion”

Dennis: Well, I disliked this episode a little bit less than last week’s premiere, so that’s something. I feel like the writers are at least trying to address some of the concerns with the pilot. I found moments of this episode’s Strangers-lite subplot genuinely scary, and it seems like there might finally be some semblance of mythology forming (though anyone who’s seen an episode of Glee or that serial killer season o fNip/Tuck, knows that Ryan Murphy doesn’t always think storyline consistency is necessary as episodes go on). I could do without the episode’s opening sexual assault, or watching Adelaide locked in a mirror-filled closet, but alas. Considering how many people asked “Why don’t they just move?” in reviews of this, I also like the family is already ready to get the hell out of there. I’m slightly worried about the plot contrivances that will likely force them to stay for at least another ten episodes, but one episode at a time, I guess…

Psych: “Shawn Rescues Darth Vadar”

Zoë: Psych is a show I love and review rarely because it doesn’t really change much. It’s Procedural Plus: there’s continuity and plot arcs, they just move at a snails pace. For the most part that’s all they need. But when there is plot, they jam it in the season premiere. And so this episode we get: Lassiter finding out about Shawn and Juliet and confronting Shawn about his faux-psychnicness. I find it interesting that the show has decided to go with Shawn keeping the lie going forever, given his relationship with Juliet, but I guess there’s really no good way to confess at this point. Even more exciting for me was the moving of the weekly flashback to the end of the episode. I was amazed at how much better this made the show and I hope it’s something they continue. Heck, if they stop highlighting clues 5 times each, I may get more people to watch the show!

The Good Wife: “Feeding the Rat”

Dennis: I like that the writers saw fit to put Will and Alicia together, if only because Will’s other love interests are usually so annoying. I’ve said my peace last season about his plot foil of a girlfriend Tammy (even the writers seemed to realize she was useless, having Will break up with her offscreen), and Lisa Edelstein’s Celeste doesn’t have much rooting value either. Don’t get me wrong, Edelstein and Charles have had good chemistry since their Sports Night days, but Celeste comes off as calculating and downright mean, as she continues to jab at Will’s secret relationship with Alicia to Peter. Will and Alicia’s relationship might only be a one-sided love currently, but I’m happy Will is staying at the firm (even if it means sports-loving Will won’t get to follow his dreams and be baseball commissioner), since it means we might have seen the last of Celeste’s manipulations for now.

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65: Soon, A Musical Number!

Connie Britton, America's Sweetheart, surrounded by the blackness of this terrible show.

American Horror Story “Pilot”

Dennis: I remember when HBO’s Tell Me You Love Me began airing, many of the reviews of the series pointed out that no one ever knew a show all about sex could be so.. boring. Well, the same is true about American Horror Story, which tries to not only be scary, but also sexy, and doesn’t end up achieving either objective. I feel bad for poor Connie Britton, who deserves so much better than this, and tries her damnedest to rise above the horrible material she’s given. I feel bad for supporting players Frances Conroy and Denis O’Hare, who thought that since they’ve done camp on Alan Ball shows that they could do it successfully with Ryan Murphy too. Sorry folks, save from those first two reminiscent seasons of Nip/Tuck, Murphy’s no Alan Ball. And I even feel bad for Days of Our Lives scene stealer Shelby Young, who left the soap, figuring a recurring role as a coked out high schooler here would be better than daytime. As it turns out, this ain’t better, just raunchier.

As much as I was less than thrilled by the pilot of American Horror Story, I’ll still probably stick around for a few more episodes, based on a sense of morbid curiosity where this is “going”. I doubt the show will ever find a “vision” per se, but I’d settle for some semblance of a purpose for existing in the first place. If all else fails, I’ll at least check back in to see how this show manages to squander Zachary Quinto for his eventual arc. Yup, that’s the most positive thing I can say about American Horror Story: It’s excellent at squandering!

Zoë: I really, really dislike Ryan Murphy, so watching the first episode of American Horror Story was done out of support for Mrs. Coach, not with any expectation that I’d like it. After reading reviews that basically went over how horrible it was, the only surprise in the premiere was I wasn’t more angry about it all. Frankly the worst part of American Horror Story is how extremely dull it is. Oh sure, it’s incredibly stupid too (soooooo stupid), but mostly it’s not even worth getting riled up about. In fact, the biggest flaw of the how may not even be Ryan Murphy, but the whole premise. In horror movies (and slasher films in particular), we accept a certain level of stupid because 1) it’s part of the genre and 2) there’s a limited time frame for pay off. But when you have at least 13 episodes to build on the horror, returning to the same old cliches just doesn’t work. There’s few reasons these characters wouldn’t move, for example, and there’s no reason they wouldn’t engage in basic human conversation that would reveal their secrets. It’s absurd and maddening in a movie, but truly idiotic in a TV with ample time to do just that.
I still plan on tuning in this week, however. Because Alan Sepinwall was legitimately offended/outraged by something in it and I have to know why!

New Girl: “Wedding”

Robert: When the guys are invited to a wedding, they ask Jess to tag along to help them cope with their own anxieties over it, but of course, nothing goes as planned Winston serves as an usher and finds a fierce rival, Schmidt pines over a high school crush while a former fling (the always fun to watch Natasha Lyonne) stalks him all evening and Nick, still afraid to confront Caroline, asks Jess to be his date but finds himself unable to resist his ex. All the while, Jess does her quirky thing, and all’s well that ends well–especially when capped with a slow-mo chicken dance-off. I still think Jess is the weakest link in the show, but this episode felt like a step in the right direction.

Zoë: Probably my favorite episode of the show yet. I’m getting a little bored with them all ending the exact same way, literally, and Jess is still leaning more annoying than quirky for me, but this episode showcased some really great chemistry from the cast. When not forcing Jess to be weird for the sake of weird she’s a pretty great roommate and her advice to the guys, along with the great scenes that went with them, give me a lot of hope for the show. Once they move past the initial “re-doing the pilot for the viewers sake” episode, this could be a show worth tuning into.

Parks & Recreation: “Born & Raised”

Dennis: I think fairly early on, at the start of its creative upturn, one of the ways Parks & Rec realized that it could be different than sister show The Office, was via political satire. One of my favorite episodes, is season two’s “Pawnee Zoo” in which Leslie inadvertently marries some same-sex penguins and becomes a gay marriage trailblazer, and this most recent Birther-confronting episode is another stand out. I liked the way all the show’s main players were utilized, and I enjoyed the usage of Mo Collins and Dan Castellaneta (Homer Simpson himself!) even more. Collins is always a good time as Pawnee’s own moronic media mogul Joan Callamezzo (who hilariously tried to be the meat in a Tom/Ben sandwich), and it was great seeing Castellaneta send up public radio in the show’s opening minutes. Much in the same way SNL seems to thrive in the lead-up to the presidential election, I’m predicting Parks & Recreation just might be able to do so too.

Zoë: This episode was so good it inspired me to create a rule: anything that starts off with a pitch perfect NPR parody bodes well. Really, given that this episode was basically an ad for a book the show created it could have come off as pretty smarmy as self-serving. Fortunately, the only smarmy thing was Rob Lowe’s soon to disappear haircut. Everything else was fantastic. In particular, I’m liking the Ben and Tom team-up, which has proven to be a great and someone logical way to use two characters who could otherwise feel really shoe-horned into an episode. And when you pair them with Joan Callamezzo and Tom’s flirting chickens coming home to roost…well, it’s just pretty great, is all.

Revenge: “Betrayal”

Dennis: While flameouts Ringer and American Horror Story have received a bit more press, I’m actually much more pleased with the ratio of intrigue and guilty pleasure Revenge provides. Emily’s takedowns of these powerful people are becoming a little too pat, but Emily VanCamp continues to grow into a good TV star, with considerable rooting value, and her subtle, icy, WASPy, face-offs with Madeline Stowe each week are certainlt yreason enough to continue watching. I keep wondering why ABC didn’t see fit to give this show a plum post-Desperate Housewives slot. If anything is a worthy successor to the departing women of Wisteria Lane (and to VanCamp’s dearly departed soap Brothers & Sisters), it ain’t Pan Am. It’s this.

Person of Interest: “Mission Creep”

Robert: It’s one of the few new shows that I think has some real potential, but up until now, Person of Interest has clearly been hamstrung by its procedural slant. This week’s episode “Mission Creep” kind of changed that a little, and it gives me hope that the show is finding its legs. After Finch’s “machine” singles out a former soldier, Reese gets inadvertently caught up in a bank robbery and notices that the crew pulling the job are methodical and well-trained. When Finch and Reese surmise that the robbery and their guy are connected, they decide to infiltrate the crew and get him out of danger. What makes this episode different than the previous two is that instead of Reese just following people around and stepping in at the last minute to prevent a single event, here he preemptively intervenes by going undercover and using all the skills and experience that we’ve been mostly told about. With Detective Carter getting closer and Finch discovering that the crew’s leader (Castle fans, it’s Captain Montgomery!) plans to off them, the stakes are suddenly now much higher and the show feels far more engaging. Although poignant and relevant to the plot, I’m not sure Reese’s flashback was quite as strong as others so far, but otherwise this may have been the strongest overall episode yet.

Community: “Competitive Ecology”

Dennis: We’ve talked a lot (like, A LOT) last season about the “Pierce problem” this show has, but between last week’s episode and this one, I’d argue it has a bigger problem in Chang. Last week, we were saddled with a story involving a silly squabble between Chang and Britta (also, not exactly my favorite character, despite Dan Harmon’s constant declarations of his love for her), and this week, with the main gang all in the same storyline, we were subjected to a Chang-only B-plot. I’ve always thought Chang works best in small doses, and having him become a security guard at the school seemed like it’d be a good way to keep him only popping up in marginal doses (much as when he did as a Spanish teacher), but it seems instead he’s been given an entire chunk of the show of his very own. Were there people begging for that? I don’t think so.

House: “Twenty Vicodin”

Zoë: Every year I swear off House, and then every year I end up watching it. Maybe I should finally accept of the shows major axioms and realize that people (myself included) never change. Let’s face it: as bad as House gets I’m probably going to keep watching until it angers me enough that I stop (the same applies to Dexter). Fortunately, Lisa Edelstein has decided to move on this season, which is probably best for both the viewers and her career. In her absence we’re treated not to House on the lam, which would have been slightly interested, but House in prison. Oh, the cliches! Oh, how grumpy he is! Oh, how little I care! Shocking no one there’s a mysterious patient in prison who’s case House has to solve while putting his parole in jeopardy (and while charming, I guess, a lovely young doctor). Equally surprising, his parole gets revoked and he’s now in the joint for another 6 months. I guess this gives us time to build on the Malcolm Jamal Warner appearance in the last episode, because there’s no way that dude signed on for just two lines. In any case I can’t wait until House gets out of prison. The show has declined greatly, but the bitchy soap opera antics (save for ones involving Cuddy) have just gotten better. If we don’t get Foreman and Chase yelling at each other soon, things could go south….faster, I guess.

Remote Uncontrolled

64: Will You Still Love Me?

Parks and Recreation: “Ron & Tammys”

Dennis: Perhaps I was too hard on Parks and Rec last week. I tuned in this week and definitely laughed more consistently (like at the fact that Andy thinks a Rolodex is a calculator). I still feel like Patricia Clarkson was kind of miscast as icy Tammy One, but she seems like she’s having a lot of fun, so I’ll allow it. And the show even found a halfway decent plot for Ann and Chris, arguably the show’s weakest two characters. Here’s hoping Ron will have his mustache back by next week, though. I don’t quite know what to do with my life without it.

Ellen: I thought her cameo was going to be a highlight, but found Patricia Clarkson almost underused this week in her months-in-the-offing guest appearance as Ron’s terrifying first wife Tammy 1. Nor was it easy to reconcile her prim appearance with their likely statutory romantic past, or with the sadly neutered Ron she is able to draw out after just a week. I already want her terrifying shadow to fall over Pawnee just one more week! Maybe she can come back to audit Tom Haverford’s nothing empire at Entertainment 720 when a slightly disgusted Ben eventually gives up on steering that enterprise into the black. We knew that was a mess, but as with many secrets of Pawnee, we had no idea.

Zoë: If there’s a storyline on Parks that I really enjoy it’s “idiots exasperate Ben”, so this week was already knocking it out of the park for me with his interaction into the screwed up world of Entertainment 720. And while the Tammy plot wasn’t blowing me away, there’s few things I enjoy as much as funny TV drunk and drinking contests, and the episode brought both. While Ron completely changing his personality for a woman isn’t a new idea on the show, it’s still one that works. Last week may have been all about plot, but this week Parks goes back to having fun too.

Scott: When I see a Parks and Rec episode like “Ron and Tammys”, I get all excited and immediately want the whole show to be Ron F’in Swanson. But NO. That cannot be! The show’s brilliant creative team knows precisely how and when to use our mustachioed hero. And that’s in episodes like this, warning Leslie that his family’s homemade liquor is used “to burn warts off of the mules” and “its only legal use is to strip varnish off of speed boats”. Episodes about Ron and his Tammys are always classics, because they show us the gooey heart that beats beneath the stoic exterior of TV’s funniest character, a man who falls so deeply in love that he’s willing to lose his mustache in one way or another. But if we thought Megan Mullally’s Tammy 2 was evil, Patricia Clarkson’s Tammy 1 is a whole other beast, a literal gold digger with a serial killer-esque temperament that turns Ron into a pastel-wearing ninny. The B story was great as well, with Tom’s dreams of being a non-specific impresario running up against financial reality. In an episode full of quotable lines, “Don’t forget to pick up a free iPad on your way out” may be the best one of all.

2 Broke Girls: “And the Break-Up Scene”

Dennis: Breaking news! I still don’t hate this show. Unlike last week, maybe this week I should. The ethnic stereotypes that are the series’ supporting characters are growing more annoying. And there was a subplot this week involving literal horse poop. But dammit, if I still don’t love leads Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs’ chemistry. I actually root for these two to get their cupcake business off the ground, and I hope that at some point the showrunners realize where their focus should be.

Zoë: Because I like being grouchy, I gave this series another chance. You can’t judge a lot based on the pilot, so maybe the second episode would take the shows strengths (the actresses) and nix some of the worse elements (most of the rest). Unfortunately, this didn’t happen. 2 Broke Girls is just really not my thing, despite giving it the college try. Most of the episode involved well-trod plotlines, more ethnic stereotypes, and a horse poop joke. And while I appreciated that the horse stayed (more continuity than I would have guessed) it was still Not Very Good. The second someone puts Beth Behrs and Kat Denning on another sitcom, I’m there, but until this, I’m through.

New Girl: “Kryptonite”

Zoë: Second verse, same as the first. Damon Wayans Jr. being gone was dealt with well, even though the replaced him with a really short guy who’s a pro basketball player?? But we got a slightly toned down Jess, some decent roommate interaction, and to be extremely jealous of the beautiful, beautiful apartment these people live in. Everything else was just ok–we had the model friend randomly show up again, the ex-boyfriend (who looked completely different), and the guys mocking Jess and then standing up for her. I have nothing really against the show so far, but I sure hope the first 4-5 episodes won’t just be the first one again and again. And bring back the Douchebag Jar!

Dennis: I didn’t love this second episode quite as I did the first, but I liked it ok. I wish Damon Wayans Jr were still on the show, since Coach seemed to have more of a personality than Winston does (I’m trying not to start rooting for Happy Endings‘ cancellation quite yet). There weren’t as many funny moments in this episode, but I did appreciate the pay-off to the episode’s slow build as Jess got up the courage to get her stuff back from her dirtbag ex. May “suck it, Mr. Crabs” be the catchphrase of the fall.

Up All Night: “Working Late & Working It”

Dennis: While I think Up All Night is still acting like two shows at once, I enjoyed this episode more than last week’s. Maybe it’s because Ava was a little bit more likable here. Or, maybe it’s because Up All Night actually succeeded where 30 Rock failed, in finding a halfway decent guest starring role for Will Forte. Or perhaps, because I like that there’s another show on NBC that is gainfully employing SNL folk (Rudolph, Forte, and Lonely Island’s Jorma Taccone). Whatever the reason, keep it up, show!

Zoë: I really like Will Arnett as a straight man. In fact, while Up All Night has been short on creative plot lines, they’ve been doing an excellent job with older ones and that’s all attributed to Applegate and Arnett knocking it out of the park as a couple that actually seems to like each other. That said, Applegate also is a part of Maya Rudolph’s wacky show world–a world that was much funnier this week, but the sort of one that causes her to come to breakfast in her prom dress. Meanwhile, Arnett’s touch of awkwardness, desperation to be the good guy, and subtle judgement of Maya Rudolph, has created a really great character for the first three episodes. Plus, they’ve managed to make a show about babies and kids that isn’t all about babies and kids. Good job.

Alphas: “Original Sin”

Scott: To call Alphas the best show on SyFy (or Sci Fi, or Cy Phi) since Battlestar isn’t saying much. I wouldn’t have had any hopes for it except for the involvement of the always great David Strathairn and Lost director Jack Bender. But Alphas has turned into a fantastic little show, really the show Heroes wanted to be, or would’ve wanted to be if it was smarter. It’s also reminiscent of Alias in its heyday what with all the hot but human government agents with hearts of gold, only with a better handle on villains (always Alias‘ weakest suit). This week’s first season finale brought out the grandaddy villain of them all, the immortal Stanton Parrish, who Todd VanDerWerff wisely dubbed the Ayn Rand of alpha militant group Red Flag, and a great game-changer ending that will definitely change the way the team operates. It’s a great capper on a very briskly-paced summer series that I’d definitely recommend catching up on for next year.

The Real World: “First Impressions”

Dennis: Since I was practically raised on the show (it actually bums me out to realize that I’m now too old to ever be a cast member. Ah, adulthood), I have a strange compulsion to check in on The Real World every season or three. While this episode doesn’t indicate we’ll get back to the golden years (oh how I miss the slightly less self-aware Puck and Pedro, Montana and Genesis, and Irene and Stephen of yesterseasons), I didn’t completely hate myself after watching this first hour. Bi guy Frank looks to be this show’s scene-stealing standout, and I think I’ll keep watching for a bit, as he not so soberly struggles with his sexuality insunny (yep, for some reason the show’s back there, already) San Diego.

Downton Abbey: “Episode 1″, “Episode 2″, and “Episode 3″

Zoë: Since winning a sack-full of Emmy’s and literally setting a world record for critical acclaim, Downton Abbey has returned–but only in England. Through, shall we say, means, I have been able to acquire the episodes and have enjoyed falling back into the world of my favorite ultra-fancy soap opera. I don’t want to ruin too much for American viewers eagerly awaiting January’s premiere, but it’s good to be back in the world of Downton. The start of war has, of course, necessitated some changes and it’s exciting to see which characters are doing what (as well as get some new ones). The war isn’t the only disaster happening, as there are marriages to make, secrets to hide, and livery to clean. Add on the soon-approaching Spanish Flu and it’s going to be a hell of a polite, stiff-lipped season.

Suburgatory: “Pilot”

Dennis: Besides the weird experience of seeing Clueless/Six Feet Under‘s Jeremy Sisto as the father of a teenager, I dug this show. While Suburgatory might break whatever “I demand laughter from my comedies!” motto I say I have, it’s a heartwarming show in all the right ways. Carly Chaikin is great new star, with all her sarcasm and sass (may “the sassy redhead” archetype never go out of style!), and the supporting cast is a who’s who of underrated TV players (Curb Your Enthusiasm‘s Cheryl Hines, Entourage‘s Rex Lee, SNL‘s Ana Gasteyer and Firefly‘s Alan Tudyk). Unlike Better With You, with its laugh track-filled, multi-camera format, which always seemed a little out of place on the night, Suburgatory seems like it’ll fit right in sandwiched between The Middle and Modern Family.

The Chew: “Mon, Sep 26, 2011″ and “Tue, Sep 27, 2011″

Dennis: I know this foodie sister show to The View, incurred a lot of wrath from soap fans, angry that this meant the demise of their beloved All My Children, but I actually enjoyed the two episodes of The Chew I viewed. I’ve loved Carla Hall ever since her near win on the fifth season of Top Chef (and how I mourn her fifth place flameout on the recent All-Stars season), and I’m happy to know she has a daily place on the daytime dial. While Mario Batali has always come off sort of obnoxious in previous TV appearances (maybe it was simply proximity to pal Gwyneth Paltrow on Spain… On the Road Again), his oversized personality works here. After phoning (or, actually, Skyping) it in on Monday’s show from a golf course, his presence was definitely felt on day two, seemingly pumping up the enthusiasm of all the other co-hosts. I think there are some things the show still has to work out (we get it, Mario Battali is Italian, Michael Symon is on Iron Chef America, and Daphne Oz is daughter to the famous TV doctor, that doesn’t mean you have to mention these facts every ten seconds), but it mostly (incoming food pun!) left a good taste in my mouth.

Community: “Geography of Global Conflict”

Paul: After a strong season opener, this episode fell kind of flat for me. I don’t like awkward comedy, and I don’t really care about Jeff and Annie’s Feelings About Each Other, because they always kind of creep me out. Best gag was Abed’s clarification of the inter-dimensional relationship between Earths 1 and 2.

Whitney: “First Date”

Dennis: After this show got surprisingly decent ratings in two airings, and after Vulture recently mentioned that it was improving in quality a little, I felt the need to check it out. I’m not demanding the half hour of my life back, so that’s ringing praise if I’ve ever heard it. I still don’t understand why Whitney had to be multi-camera and “in front of a live studio audience” (an audience full of laugh tracks, maybe). It seems out of place on NBC’s Thursday comedy line-up because of it (it’s the Better with You of NBC, I guess). Still, the relationship between Whitney and Alex is actually kind of sweet, and it’s nice to see 30 Rock‘s Maulik Pancholy finally getting a regular role on something, even if it is as the harried, more heterosexual version of his Rock character on this. Again, ringing praise all around!

Terra Nova: “Genesis, Parts 1 and 2″

Paul: This is all basically exactly what I expected, and what I expected wasn’t great. Leave it to network television, home of countless identical dramas about 1) cops, and 2) doctors, to invent a series about TIME TRAVEL and DINOSAURS and then make sure that the main characters are: A cop and a doctor. The only surprise here—and it wasn’t the good kind of surprise—was that the world of Terra Nova is an even more dangerous place than regular old network-tv-earth to not be a white person.

Scott: Maybe I’m dumb, but I liked the largely reviled Terra Nova pilot. Sure, there’s not a lot on its mind; it shows little interest in deviating from the template of a group of apocalypse survivors building a new world that Jericho and Falling Skies have already done. Sure, there’s not a lot of drama; the central family gets along great except for the obligatory bratty teenage son. Sure, it rips off Lost; there’s an antagonistic group of Others, and mysterious writings on off-limits caves. But the show looks amazing on my pretty HDTV, especially the opening scenes that looked straight out of Blade Runner. I like the cast a lot too. Jason O’Mara comes off a lot like Mel Gibson in his heyday here, and Naomi Scott is adorable as his brainy teenage daughter. Of course the standout is Stephen Lang, though, who made a career of disappearing into complex hardass characters for decades before James Cameron made him the most memorable face from Avatar. This character will probably drop all ambiguity and become a fascist before too long, but for now, Lang makes a great benevolent dictator.

Raising Hope: “Sabrina Has Money”

Dennis: I like that the show is giving us a little more background on Sabrina, with this reveal that she is secretly loaded (and yay, Office Space/True Blood‘s Stephen Root as her dad!). But, since it’s been established that Sabrina and Shelly are cousins, does that make Shelly poor? Sabrina made a comment that she’s better than Shelly so then I guess Shelly comes from the poor side of the family? What side would that be? And if Sabrina was going to be attending a family party, why not make mention of her boyfriend Wyatt? Does he know she’s secretly rich? Could I be over-thinking my TV comedies? No, couldn’t be! It’s just, Raising Hope is usually so good about rewarding its fans of the show I thought it a weird time to start suddenly have some odd continuity issues.

An Idiot Abroad 2: “Desert Island”, “Trans-Siberian Express”

Robert: When Karl Pilkington adamantly insisted that he would never do a second season of traveling the globe seeing the wonders of the world, there was no doubt that Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant would find a way to get him back. This time he’d be setting out to check off television’s biggest bucket list, and the results, as expected, are hilarious.

First up, Karl is tasked with spending a night on a desert island in the South Pacific, but not before stopping to try bungee jumping in New Zealand. As Karl stands on the plank overlooking a gorge with the crew egging him on, he simply can’t bring himself to do it. In lieu of that, he’s sent to Vanuatu where bungee jumping was invented, but there it’s called land diving and somehow looks even scarier. He manages to do the land dive, but only from about five feet up, and for once, we get a genuine fit of laughter from the perpetually grimacing Pilkington. From there, he meets a tribe who worship Prince Philip, visits a live volcano, stays with another tribe whose entire vocabulary begins with the letter “N” and finally, is taken to his own private island where torrential rain, makeshift shelter and lack of food drive him absolutely batty. Fortunately, he has a Wilson volleyball made to look like Gervais to keep him company.

When Karl gets to Moscow, his cab driver pisses on the Trans-Siberian Railway, pisses on the British and their cars, even pisses on Russia as a whole. Karl boards the train and finds a relaxing cabin awaiting him, but it turns out he’s in the wrong part of the train. He’s taken to the proper car in third class where he’s surrounded by other passengers and meant to sleep on a bunk (or as he puts it, “a shelf”). Along the way, he visits Star City to ride in a centrifuge, meets a human magnet, expounds on why he’d choose the ability to detect bullshit as his superpower, gets buried alive and wrestles in Mongolia. On the last leg in China, Karl takes to opportunity to visit a dwarf village and surprisingly finds the place completely intriguing and charming, until a call to chap Warwick Davis sheds a different, more sinister light on the place.

Glee ”I Am Unicorn”

Dennis: Whether pregnant, pink-haired, or scheming to get her baby back, has anyone ever cared about Quinn? I think this show needs to re-consider who needs storylines here and who can stay simply relegated to the background (like, Harry Schum Jr, high paid background dancer). And, while I’m on the subject of useless, was there some sort of fan campaign that I wasn’t aware of to get Mr. Shue to be in more of each episode? Maybe once Finn or Puck (who both are already nearing thirty in real life) graduates one of them can be the new faculty advisor next season? Surely if there’s someone who can still play the supportive role without being so damn saccharine, it’s anyone who’s not Shue.

Also, what’s with the dependence on showtunes this season? I have to wonder if NBC’s buzzed-about midseason stage musical show Smash has Fox pushing Glee in this direction. They do understand that pulling away from the glee club to focus on the school musical, kind of negates the show title, don’t they? And then there’s the show’s decision to offensively introduce a character with Asperger’s syndrome (something I forgot to mention last week), which the Glee writers seems to think only means that a person can’t sing and has to repeat the word Asperger’s over and over again like it’s the only word they know. Being that last week I mentioned that I started watching Glee again because of The Glee Project, maybe I should only watch episodes featuring Project contestants. This one was devoid of them, and I found so much else to get angry over.

Taste

Colombiana

TriStar Pictures
In theaters now

Colombiana may be the perfect late summer action movie—completely ridiculous but fun and not too serious. Zoë Saldana stars as a practically trained from birth assassin who goes after the people who killed her father. Saldana plays her character Cataleya with the right mixture of vengeance, uncaring and regret, and the first twenty minutes of the film are dominated by amazing action sequences featuring a young Cataleya (phenomenally played by Amandla Stenberg). Not only are these sequences beautiful, they’re disturbing too, adding a bit of real pathos and badassness to the character in between gunshots. There’s hardly any romantic subplot, and the one that is there only happens enough to remind you that Michael Vartan still exists. The rest of the movie is devoted to vengeance, intricate and unrealistic murder setups, and lots of explosions. It’s probably not the best portrayal of Colombia you’ll ever see, but if The Expendables just made you wonder where all the lady action stars are, I suggest giving it a look.

Remote Uncontrolled

63: Curse You, Salinger!

New Girl: “Pilot”

Ellen: How tired I am of Dirty Dancing being used as a Universal Lady Emotional Touchstone; spending all day on the couch watching it sounds like a form of torture to this one. Aside that obvious and embarrassing emotional crutch, I found this first show mildly amusing, hampered more by the endless promos Fox has been running for it that spoiled all of Zooey Deschanel’s character’s quirks before they could be integrated into some kind of plot-based medium. I’m tuning in next week just to see where it goes from here (and whether instructions will be provided as to the implementation of a personal Douchebag Jar, not that I know any of those). As to Deschanel, I’m neither ready to join the backlash nor the backlash-to-the-backlash; I’ve liked her fine in projects like The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, Yes Man and even (500) Days Of Summer and am curious to see whether she can hold down the show.

Dennis: Between Kat Dennings and Zooey Deschanel, sitcoms are the hot new vehicles for actresses that are queens of quirk (which makes me even angrier that Parker Posey/Lauren Ambrose’s The Return of Jezebel James from a few years back wasn’t better). Deshanel was just the right amount of goofy in the pilot and hopefully she strikes the same balance in future episodes. I was glad to see Max Greenfield, who’s done solid recurring work on Veronica Mars, Ugly Betty, and Greek, finally get a lead role here (though I’ll temporarily become Greenfield’s grandmother for a second to wonder if he’s eating enough, having wasted away since his Mars days). I’m bummed that Damon Wayans Jr had to jump ship after the pilot when Happy Endings got picked up (even if I am a fan of Endings, and him on it). He seemed to gel well with the other roommates here and I am certainly curious to see how the show substitutes in someone else next week.

Zoë: My irrational hatred of Zooey Deschanel is not like other people’s irrational hatred–the lady has ruined my name and that’s not the sort of thing I take lightly. Especially after sitting though a silent preview on board a flight, I was expecting to watch this show, rip into it, and do justice for Zoe’s everywhere. Alas, the show is…ok. Certainly better than the word “adorkable”, the commercials, or the subway ads would want you to believe. Certainly better than I expected, given my general annoyance with the concept of “quirks” and Zooey somehow being an outsider to conventional hotness (she’s a brunette and she sometimes wears fake glasses, HOW UNUSUAL!!!!). But the “Pilot” has some generally good ideas–the “douchebag jar” and the main male members of the cast not being attracted to Zooey among them. Sure, the rest of it was mostly jokes along the lines of “ladies love feelings!” and “men love beer!”, but they were worth a chuckle or two. “Not as bad as I expected” is hardly a ringing endorsement, but for me it’s earned New Girl another week.

Robert: After breaking up with her boyfriend, Jess (Zooey Deschanel) moves in with three guys and works out her heartbreak while watching Dirty Dancing on repeat. The three aforementioned roomies, Nick, Schmidt and Coach, do their best to maneuver around her whirlwind of emotions and eventually accept her when she gets stood up. Simple enough, right? I suppose Jess is supposed to be the focus of the show, but Deschanel strikes such an annoying chord with her that it becomes tiring. Part cutesy, part glum, Jess is quickly upstaged by the guys and their takes on typical male behavior. Schmidt is the well-dressed young urban bro-fessional, Coach is the gruff motivator with intimacy issues and Nick is anxiety-ridden over his own recent breakup, but all of them seem like less of a put-on than Jess, who is somehow smart and observant but quirky/ditzy/awkward all at the same time. When the funniest scenes in the episode are the ones without the main character, that’s a problem. Here’s hoping New Girl gels into something more rounded in coming episodes.

Armando: There was never any doubt that I would enjoy watching Zooey be Zooey on screen. I’ve always found her perceived aloofness and simple style charming. Her always “regular girl” persona shines through here as always, although it is played up quite a bit. Her comedic timing plays well off the typical male room mates. I’m a fan of the back and forth bantering on shows like Community and Happy Endings and New Girl has that same flow. I laughed often and rewound a few scenes to hear the jokes again (see: Lord of the Rings joke). It’s a season pass for me.

2 Broke Girls: “Pilot”

Ellen: With great fear and trepidation did I approach this new show suggestive of hipster jokes and a ’50s sensibility layered on 2011. And it’s true, the concept of “hipsters” as shopped by this show seems like it was scripted by a 50-year-old. (Hint: they don’t listen to Coldplay, at least that they’d admit to!) But 2 Broke Girls shows a hair of potential in the chemistry between Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs as coworkers at a crummy overpriced Brooklyn diner with (potential) dreams of bigger things. Will I be watching just for the ridicule? It remains to be seen. (As a New Yorker, though, Dennings’ apartment is still much too big for what she could get. What? I pay a lot of rent for that kind of expertise.)

Dennis: I probably shouldn’t like 2 Broke Girls. It’s from the guy who put the final nail in the Sex and the City coffin, showrunner-turned-movies’ writer/director Matthew Patrick King. It’s a “traditional” sitcom (who doesn’t love a good laugh track? Oh right, me), and on CBS, no less (I’ve never embraced Two and a Half Big Bang Molly Men, or whatever that show is called, but I was a supporter of How I Met Your Mother until the network kept it alive while it drifts further into lifelessness). But, I found myself laughing at this show much more consistently than, I have to say, Parks and Recreation . I think a lot has to do with the show’s leads. Kat Dennings has been doing her sardonic thing for awhile now and her delivery is perfect here. Even Beth Behrs takes a Paris Hilton-esque character who could be completely unlikable and makes her actually endearing. Sure, there are things that could probably get toned down (some of the characters certainly border racist on stereotypes), and I know people will take issue with the portrayal of Brooklyn (at least Brooklyn’s getting a chance to be misrepresented? Misrepresented Manhattan can’t have all the fun), but I’ll definitely be tuning in for week two!

Zoë: Unlike my esteemed colleagues, I hated 2 Broke Girls. Some of it was indignation over how badly they did New York (cupcakes don’t cost $7 anywhere in the city, the subways haven’t looked like that since 1977, and there are few places in Brooklyn where wearing a nice leather jacket would be unsafe). Some was shock over how much of the cast was just offensive, offensive ethnic stereotypes, from jokes about Russian girls being sluts to the Asian guy who can’t speak English to the “jive talking” “school in summer–no class!” joke-making black guy. Heck, can we even consider the cliche of the brunette being the sarcastic one a stereotype by now? But mostly it’s just that this is not my kind of show. It feels like a ’70s sitcom throwback and if there’s anything I really hate, it’s most sitcoms made before the ’80s. I can’t even watch I Love Lucy without wanting to punch something or someone. So, no, 2 Broke Girls isn’t for me and I highly recommend doing literally anything else instead of watching it. But if you really miss broad characterizations, broad stereotypes, and broads in a dated, odd version of Brooklyn, knock yourself out!

Up All Night: “Cool Neighbors”

Zoë: I’m a sucker for people being confused by babies and I’m a sucker for people just calling babies “baby”, so Up All Night managed to hook me with the pilot. And “Cool Neighbors” was a pleasant little romp, with some decent old people jokes and musical references that were actually funny (take note, 2 Broke Girls!) but I’m starting to wondering if the show is ever going to move beyond pleasant. Maya Rudolph was fun in her baby wallet buying adventures, but doesn’t really have enough to do to justify her screen time. Likewise, as much goodwill as I have for Nick Cannon from Drumline, he’s also sort of just there. Which is a shame, because both Arnett and Applegate have wonderfully developed characters and character-relationships, even from the little we’ve seen them. I don’t know how much of this is because of the Bridesmaids fallout and how much is just figure out the direction of the show, but I hope they find their footing soon, because I’d really like to have something to watch on Wednesday that wasn’t Modern Family.

Dennis: I’m curious to see how this show progresses. I really enjoyed last week’s pilot, but two episodes in, I’m unsure of whether it can maintain the fact that it seems to try to be two shows at once. I understand that Maya Rudolph had great success with Bridesmaids this summer, and she was always one of my SNL faves, but I’m wondering if NBC wanted to shoehorn a workplace subplot in so that if they had to pair it with 30 Rock/The Office/Parks and Recreation, they could more easily. I do enjoy Ava’s assistant Missy, but Rudolph’s character is constantly in danger of devolving into her famous Oprah parody, and was anyone clamoring for Nick Cannon, really? Still, I love Will Arnett, Christina Applegate (RIP Samantha Who, I still miss you), and Rudolph enough to stick this one out to see if it finds its balance.

Up All Night: “Pilot”

Armando: I don’t NOT like Will Arnett. He was great in Arrested Development. It’s just that these romantic comedy roles seemed a bit forced for him (see Running Wilde). I like my Arnett kind of creepy and off center. Here he comes off a bit like a dad in Modern Family (which I find a vastly overrated parody of itself). All that being said, I semi-enjoyed this, Maya Rudolph’d up and all. Applegate and Arnett work well together and Rudolph doesn’t mess it up. FYI: Applegate looks better and better with age. There. That’s my big dumb guy comment for the week.

Robert: Being a new parent is full of challenges and life adjustments, but instead of playing them honestly, this first episode of Up All Night gives us nothing but cliches and misconceptions that just never ring true. There’s a moment when Chris (Will Arnett) sits with his daughter Amy explaining hockey and having good “quads” but it ends far too soon because, as any father knows, the inherent anxiety with leaving an infant unattended for even just a moment can be amusing in itself. When Reagan comes home and finds Chris playing video games, she feigns interest to mask her disbelief while he throws every possible benefit at her to temper the conversation, but again, there’s no follow-through to see how those conversations really end. Still, maybe the worst part of the show has to be Reagan’s eccentric TV talk show host boss, Ava (Maya Rudolph), who totally comes off as a late (and not very funny) addition to the mix. Ultimately, Up All Night might be hamstrung by its own premise. Raising a baby isn’t exactly comedy gold, but if handled right, it can be incredibly charming. If anything, Up All Night only reinforces the notion that people who aren’t prepared for children, no matter how clever or educated or successful they might be, will be crap at it. Well-adjusted parents would never swear uncontrollably during a tender moment with their infant. They never freak out in a grocery store. They’d never be excited about being away from their baby to go party themselves drunk. I thought I knew what the title of this new series was referring to, but after seeing this first episode, now I get it. Reagan and Chris are horrible parents, and that has never been funny to me. At least the baby is adorable.

Parks & Recreation: “I’m Leslie Knope”

Ellen: Keep your Albuquerque, your noir Brooklyn, your streets of Baltimore; I spent my summer in Pawnee, Indiana, getting to know Leslie Knope, Ron Swanson and the whole Parks & Rec crew, indulging over a few weekends in the lazy pleasure afforded by TV on DVD. Imagine my despair when I couldn’t hit “Next Episode” at the end of “I’m Leslie Knope” and get to Leslie building her campaign, Andy grappling with his real life dreams (being Leslie’s assistant ain’t it) and Ron Swanson confronting that woman among women, Tammy One. This premiere set up the whole season, from the (I hope, only current) cooling off of Leslie and Ben’s relationship to Andy’s inevitable absorption into the department, but its take on the Anthony Weiner scandal in which Ann is inundated with pictures from seekers of “medical advice” allowed for a much-needed cathartic laugh. Even Rob Lowe’s distractingly bad haircut couldn’t spoil the fun. So great to be back in Pawnee.

Zoë: I had never watched this show before this summer and then I was in Tanzania for three weeks, partially on a mountain, with no computer or internet and I needed to make sure I’d have something to do. Enter putting the entirety of Parks and Rec on my iPod and going nuts for the entire vacation. And by nuts I mean rewatching episodes (hey, you find something to do at 14,000 feet) and generally falling in love with the whole thing. After that binge I was excited to see what the new season had in store and to experience the thrill of not being able to go directly to the next episode. Fortunately, what the show had to offer was a fantastic kick-off episode that kept the fun going while being plot heavy. Unfortunately, that plot involved crushing my heart. Look, the break-up scene was wonderfully done, hitting the exact combination of sad and necessary and hopefully and bittersweet. I’m just really glad I have a whole week to recover this time.

Dennis: I’m starting to wonder if this series is getting a case of Office-itis. See, I stopped watching Parks and Rec‘s sister show because it just wasn’t getting enough laughs per episode out of me (I abandoned Modern Family, Emmys and all, a long time ago for the same reason). If I’m taking a half hour out of my week each week to watch a comedy, I want to spend that half hour, you know, laughing. Parks and Rec is endearing enough. I like everyone on it so much (though I kind of wish the show had successfully courted Oprah for Tammy One, instead of Patricia Clarkson), and the writers have done a great job with Leslie and Ben’s relationship from start to finish. I just get scared that this show could devolve into Aubrey Plaza camera stares and penis jokes the way The Office devolved into John Krasinski camera stares and similarly juvenile subplots. I’ll watch for a little while longer in hopes that I can be reassured.

Person of Interest: “Pilot”

Scott: Person of Interest is a crime-fighting show on CBS. For a TV snob like me, that automatically hamstrings it. The knuckle-dragging proles like CBS, not I! I spend my days reading Proust and watching The Wire over and over again! But Person of Interest is also the first CBS show since Jericho to capture my attention, because it’s been developed by J.J. Abrams and Jonathan Nolan, brother/collaborator of Christopher. I really can’t imagine a more literal translation of all those factors than the Person of Interest pilot. It has a great cast, including Lost album Michael Emerson, Jim Caviezel (others seem to find him a black hole of charisma but I thought he was appropriately glowering and dangerous) and the beautiful and talented Taraji P. Henson. It has action sequences that look like something out of The Dark Knight. It has weird government conspiracies like Alias. It has a dead wife/girlfriend as motivation, like Memento/The Prestige/Inception/The Dark Knight (I would advise the Nolans’ significant others to watch out, because this is getting really weird). And it has… extended courtroom sequences and cops investigating a mystery of the week? Whaaat? DAMN YOU, CBS!

So now the battle begins. Will Person of Interest become the crime of the week show that CBS surely wants it to be, with most of its runtime spent in precincts and courthouses, its events tidily wrapped up with a bow at the end of 42 minutes? Or will it become the show that Nolan and Abrams probably want, with a psychotic vigilante murderer as its hero who gets his marching orders from a shady government contractor who either wants a utopian world without crime or a Cheney-esque fascist dictatorship? As for the pilot, it’s more of that second show than the first; those more conventional elements feel shoehorned in and take up maybe 25% of the episode. How that percentage grows or shrinks will determine whether I’m still watching this in October.

Robert: Who’s watching us, what do they know about us and what can they do with the information that they’ve compiled? There’s an interesting premise here, and there’s plenty of room for mystery, but what this first episode of Person of Interest seemed to lack was any actual intrigue. The idea of a man—in this case, a mysterious Mr. Finch (Michael Emerson)—who has access to a secret government project that uses predictive technology to pinpoint possible criminals is compelling, and when he tracks down boozed-out, ex-CIA operative John Reese (Jim Caviezel) to do the leg work, things get off to a shaky start. Haunted by memories of his wife, whom he’d lost ten years ago on 9/11 (which, by the way, with the recent anniversary having passed, strangely feels both relevant and outdated), Reese is wary of Finch and his proposal to let him be a post-millennial Equalizer, but he takes the mission out of his inherent need to do the right thing. It gives him a new sense of purpose in life and even though he goes to work in the least conspicuous manner possible—spying around with binoculars and snapping photos of people out in the open, firing off grenade launchers in the streets—Reese does find a new sense of control and starts to pull himself together. Sure, we’re meant to invest in the “person of interest” that Reese and Finch are tracking, but what interests me more is the idea of this experimental technology (an amalgam of modern day surveillance cameras, facial recognition, wiretapping, GPS location tracking and some highly-tuned algorithms…basically Big Brother incarnate) and who’s really in control of it. Watching Finch and Reese get to the core of that while negotiating their strange dynamic would make an interesting show all on its own, I say.

Community: “Biology 101″

Dennis: I really didn’t want to write about Community this week. I’m always afraid we give Community too much attention, and that it’ll fall into the “what’s so great about THAT show?” overhyped category. But Dan Harmon continues to make Cougar Town references so I keep writing about it. How does he know my kryptonite? Community is the master of meta, and continued to prove that with its Cougarton Abbey jokes, its season opening song, and its hints that this could very well be the final year for the low-rated gem (this episode’s soft ratings did little to negate that). Hang in there as long as you can, Community. You’ll likely continue to get Sodapop love as long as you do.

Zoë: Yay, Community is back! I am sure everyone missed every TV critic in America gushing about this show all summer, so get ready for some more of that. Because, save for a soon to be discussed issue, I really liked the episode. Frankly, Cougarton Abbey would have been enough for me to love everything that happened, but I also like the idea that this is the season where Jeff really becomes unhinged. Plus Omar! (Even though he did nothing.)

The elephant in the room is Pierce. I don’t hate that he came back to the study group. I don’t hate that Jeff may be the villain this season. I don’t even hate the idea that it seems that the group doesn’t care that much about Jeff (I actually hope they explore that more). But the season finale last year was literally about how everyone but Annie wanted Pierce out of the group and it seems out of place that now everyone but Jeff wants him in–it just didn’t feel earned. I can understand if Pierce had made amends, or if the idea of everyone feeling guilty had been touched on, but instead it just happened to happen. It then struck me as unrealistic that Jeff freaking out was enough to not only kick him out but also make Annie not want to be his friend. Because, again, Pierce spent most of last season cruelly manipulating everyone in the group and he was forgiven. Maybe I’m expecting too much for the first episode back. Or maybe what I was expecting is for Chevy Chase to disappear forever. In any case, musical number! I’m sure it will all be fine.

The Ringer: “Pilot”

Armando: Real quick FYI, if it weren’t for The Wire then Buffy The Vampire Slayer would be my all time favorite television show. Enter why I have such a fondness for anything Sarah Michelle Gellar. I didn’t know what to expect from The Ringer. The promos were semi-intriguing yet I couldn’t quite grasp what the show was really about. Twins? One troubled, the other evil? Where they switching lives? And if so, why and how could a television series be based on such a concept? BUT since Buffy was in it, there was no way I wouldn’t at least give “Pilot” a watch. So I did. I watched a story about twin sisters who aren’t big fans of each other. One rich, powerful, arrogant and a total bitch. The other, down on her luck and running from her past and the law. Pretty typical CW cliche, soap opera type stuff. Yet there I was watching. Every little semi-predictable turn. A ridiculously fake looking boat scene. Perfectly absurd plot developments that move the story and the characters to where they need to be for the series premise to be set in motion. Yet, while the cliche mystery is being moved along, I actually enjoyed Gellar’s performance of the two sisters. I’m sure I am watching with Buffy blinders on but so be it. I was hooked. I kind of want to see where this is going and how long they can keep it going. Even if I am not totally sure where this is going or even why this story should be a series. A movie maybe. But a television series? We’ll see.

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia: “The Gang Goes To The Jersey Shore”

Scott: Over the summer, the Sunny gang got more press than ever. Charlie Day become a budding movie star with Horrible Bosses, and Rob McElhenney found himself getting tons of attention for getting fat fat fat for what seemed like no apparent reason (he has since explained). Every year I keep thinking Sunny will start sucking. It should, right? How many years can this team keep upping the ante, keep coming up with hilarious and deeply wrong stuff to laugh at, especially as the hungry underdogs who started the show become big famous celebrities? But judging from its first two episodes, season 7 of Sunny has mostly responded to success by going even darker and upping its musical budget (the premiere featured “Pretty Woman” playing while the end credits scrolled over a dead hooker, and this week has The Go-Go’s “Vacation” played over a montage of summer fun like steroid use, toxic ham-eating and a graphically violent liquor store heist).

For some reason, being near water brings out the best in the show (last year’s “The Gang Buys A Boat” may be my single favorite episode ever), and ”The Gang Goes To The Jersey Shore” follows in that proud tradition. Dennis and Dee find Frank burning their family photos in a tin drum for kicks and decide to revisit their glory days as kids on the Jersey Shore. Soon Dennis and Dee find themselves scalped and unwitting accomplices to a string of murders, while Frank and Mac are stranded at sea with nothing but a ham. This episode gets strangely sweet though as Charlie finds himself sharing a romantic evening with his true love The Waitress. Though it expectedly ends badly, it turns out that one of the weirdest things Sunny has ever done is let Charlie be happy for a night.

Revenge: “Pilot”

Dennis: I was glad to see Revenge did well in the ratings for its debut. Writing-wise it is in no ways a future classic (well, besides being loosely adapted from one, The Count of Monte Cristo), but I think TV is in need of a good nighttime soap. Brothers & Sisters and nuMelrose Place got axed, Desperate Housewives is ending, TNT is taking forever to get its Dallas continuation off the ground, and the rest of the crop are either hilariously bad (Ringer) or getting long in the tooth (Gossip Girl and nu90210). And I’m happy to see Emily Van Camp (who’s done understated, and mostly unheralded lead work on Everwood and Brothers & Sisters before) and Connor Paolo (who played the most boring gay character ever on Gossip Girl for four years) get chances to shine here. There’s definitely enough intriguing mystery going to get me to come back for week two!

The Secret Circle: “Pilot”

Armando: I was expecting this to be nothing more than a Dawson’s Creek on One Tree Hill with witches. And I was right. Even the location it is shot in is uber Dawson’s Creek. super cheesy plot developments. Corny magic talk. Teenagers who are wise beyond their years. And not a single non-model looking person in town. Even the adults look like what CW/WB characters grow up to be. It’s all just so something I couldn’t imagine myself caring about. Yet for some reason, I’m going to keep watching. Maybe it’s the whole Kevin Williamson, Dawson’s Creek vibe. Yes, I loved Dawson’s Creek. That damn Joey. Choosing Pacey over Dawson. I’m still not sure which I am more pissed at. Her or Winnie in The Wonder Years not hooking up with Kevin Arnold. But I digress. Or maybe I just like the “autumny” vibe and magic cornballness just in time for Halloween. I don’t know. Do me a favor and don’t tell anyone this is a season pass on my DVR. You do and I just might wiggle my nose at you.

Castle: “Rise”

Robert: It’s been coasting on a nice steady breeze since it debuted three seasons ago, but after settling into the procedural rut, Castle finally tried shaking things up a bit with last season’s finale. Picking up where we left off with Beckett and Castle on the way to the hospital, the show then jumps ahead three months as usual to bring us back to the crew as they learn to deal with the new captain of the house, Victoria “Iron” Gates (Penny Johnson Jerald, in Sherry Palmer from 24 mode). Once the hotshot detective, Beckett wants to track down who was gunning for her but is ill-prepared for hitting the streets again. Ryan and Esposito take on the heavy lifting of working the cases, and Castle, believing that Beckett has no memory of his declaration of love for her as she lay dying in his arms, backs off to focus on his writing again—but not before stashing some important evidence in her case. Ordered to keep her nose out of it, Beckett persists and looks to Castle for help, but he knows it’s only going to be more pain for her down the road. In the end, Castle has the mayor convince Gates to let him back into the house and the team is back together again, but there’s a darker edge to everything now. The comedic slant of the show is still there, but it’s been put on the back burner somewhat in place of weightier emotions, including the final revelation that Beckett did in fact remember Castle’s confession to her, but won’t allow herself to act on it until she’s righted whatever wrongs that led to her attempted assassination. They’ve both become hardened by the experience, and it’s a subtle shift in their relationship, but one that I’m actually up for watching again.

Raising Hope: “Prodigy”

Dennis: Yay! Raising Hope‘s back! I’m so giddy it’s back on the air, and nestled comfortably in a line-up with Glee and New Girl. I enjoy everyone on this show so much. Any regular follower of this Roundtable knows my Plimpton appreciation is immense. Cloris Leachman was great, as usual here, mistaking a black crow for death, and telling it that it couldn’t have her until after it took Betty White (heh). I’m also digging the little seeds that the show has been sewing toward the possibility of a Jimmy/Sabrina romance. It might be a while before those seeds grow, but I’ll be patiently waiting.

The Office: “The List”

Ellen: At the moment when James Spader’s appearance doesn’t remind everyone of Secretary without a related word being uttered, it’ll be time for Robert California to leave the show. Till then, his hint of sliminess may provide just the right amount of friction in what has been referred to as the new Office, the post-Carell era. As to the new boss himself: I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that the creators picked the character who most idolized Michael Scott and the actor participating in the largest to-date film franchise among the 6, although whether they will regret that decision remains to be seen. This episode didn’t move me the way The Office used to, but that can’t be loaded on either men’s shoulders; it’s just not the bittersweet delight it used to be.

The X Factor: “Auditions #1″

Scott: I was shocked that the revamped American Idol proved to be a hit earlier this year. I’m even more shocked that the show its former star left to headline is starting off as a big fat flop. Like most people, I think Simon Cowell is a great and often hilarious presence on TV; unlike most people, I actually admit it. But X Factor has had a rough go of it from the beginning. Cowell had trouble getting Fox to greenlight his choices for the hosts and the judging panel, and highly publicized problems with original host Corbin Bleu and original judge Cheryl Cole gave the show a sour buzz from the get-go. My major issues with X Factor thus far, though, are with the show itself (though generic British tool Steve Jones actually made me appreciate Ryan Seacrest for the first time in my life). The editing and look of the show is comically overblown and annoying; with all the quickly cut overhead shots, dramatic music and friggin’ helicopters, it’s supposed to scream “POWER!” but feels more like Michael Bay directing an episode of Hell’s Kitchen. The live audience brought in for the judging is a horrible miscalculation. The audiences in the UK version work because they’re polite and understand how the show works, while American audiences have been conditioned for decades to just scream “WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” all the time, always. Worse, the judges and the contestants go over the top mugging for audience reaction, making the whole thing feel like a cheap pageant, or worse, an even more low-rent America’s Got Talent.

There is potential here. L.A. Reid is the real deal, a music industry insider who can spot talent and whose dispassionate, straightforward assessment of the contestants is free of reality show fakery (sadly, this places him in diametrical opposition to the rest of the panel, especially the loathsome J. Lo wannabe Nicole Scherzinger). But until the show turns down the bombast considerably, this thing sucks.

Glee: “The Purple Piano Project”

Dennis: I’ve given up and returned to Glee more times than I can count (see also: Cougar Town, 90210, Gossip Girl). I swore (as I always do) that the last time was the final time, but then a funny thing happened over the summer. In the vast wasteland of summer TV, I discovered Oxygen’s reality spin-off The Glee Project and fell in love. It had everything that the mothership didn’t: storyline consistency, characters you can root for, Ryan Murphy actually on screen. By the end of the inaugural (and hopefully not only) season I knew that I had to go back to watching Glee if only to see the show’s winners (yep, there were technically four, or two who won long arcs on the show, and two who got 2 episodes apiece). The first of Project‘s quasi-winners (and my personal favorite, even if she was portrayed kind of bitchy, she was definitely the best singer and actor of the bunch), Lindsay Pearce showed up and sung a rousing version of “Anything Goes.”

Glee finally got a writing staff over the summer, and I’m hoping (why do I still have hope where this show is concerned?) that that’s a good thing. It’s kind of hard to tell from this episode alone. Certainly there wasn’t an over-reliance on songs, and nary a guest star in sight (unless Lindsay counts)., but poor Jane Lynch! How many times are we going to see Sue seemingly put her grudge against the Glee club aside, only to renege on that shortly thereafter? How long before Sue goes full cartoon villain and literally ties someone to railroad tracks? Jane Lynch and the audience deserve more at this point.